Valerie Ch. 08

"That's what I expected she would do. She's going to take some hard hits in her life. One of our friends in the media passed along that the details on the attack have been leaked to the press, along with the gist of her statement. By tonight, everyone in the city will know that Valerie Burbon likes to be whipped and beaten. She's going to need you to get through the fallout."

"I'm not going anywhere. I love her and will see her through this to the end."

"I know. I've got to get back to the office. Let me know if there's anything that my clout can impact. I'm not leaving her either."

Two hours later, two men showed up, dressed impeccably. Valerie was awake. "Ms. Burbon? My name is Franklin Moore and this is George Twiny, my personal assistant. I've been retained by Charles Vanquil to represent Francine Traline in the matter of the attack on you. Understand that I represent Ms. Traline and should be considered hostile by you, since my job is to make sure she is found innocent of charges against her. That said, would you be willing to give me a statement about what happened? Do you wish to have counsel of your own present?"

"Mr. Moore. Yes, I will talk with you and, no, I don't need counsel. We're on the same side. And it wasn't an attack; it was sexual play that I let go too far."

Franklin's eyebrows rose. "I see. Have you told the police this?"

"Yes. I told a Detective Powell this a few hours ago."

"Do you mind if George records the interview?"

"No. Please do. What do you want to know?"

"Start by telling in your own words, everything that led up to the incident."

Valerie told the same story she told the police, adding that she had called Francine to ask for the scene. She explained in more detail the dynamics of BDSM, also known as D/s. He advised her to avoid using the terms sadism and masochism, they conjured too many negative images. George both recorded the statement and typed it up on a laptop. When it was finished and Mr. Moore had asked all the questions he needed to, the statement was printed on a portable printer and Valerie signed it.

"Thank you, Ms Burbon. I'll file for dismissal of the charges right away. DAs are sometimes reluctant to dismiss charges so soon, so we'll just give them a reminder of how much they don't have."

"Thank you, Mr. Moore. And Mr. Moore, if you need to, throw me to the wolves to get her off."

"Rest assured, Ms. Burbon, I'd throw Mr. Vanquil to the wolves if I needed to. Ms. Traline is not my number one priority in this case, she is my only priority."

Word spread through the scene about what happened. Flowers showed up from Giggy and Rachael and from Fred and Daphne to both women. The first reporter tried to get access to Valerie and Sally at 4:00 pm and was soundly rebuffed by the hospital staff. Half an hour later, both Dr. Waston and Marcia arrived.

Helen had a look of concern on her face. "Sally, could you leave the two of us a while?"

"Doctor, I'd like her to stay."

"Can't do it. Anything you say with her present isn't covered under doctor patient privilege. If you were married, that would be different."

"It's okay, Val. Marcia and I can run up to the apartment and get some things. Is there anything you want in particular?"

"Just my laptop. Oh, and stop by the lobby and let Lilly know where I am. She'll be worried, especially once it hits the news."

"Will do."

Once they were gone, Dr. Waston closed the door and started her exam, verifying what the hospital doctors had found. While she did, she asked questions.

"Tell me what happened. I'm hearing rumors and they aren't very useful. Nothing you say can be repeated legally, so tell me the truth, the whole truth."

"I had Master's permission to submit to Francine this week and she agreed to accept it last night. Francine had me bind myself in ropes she had prepared with slip knots and blindfold myself. She whipped me, hard and fast. It was really intense. I thought she wanted to go to my safe word limit and I was okay with that. But when I used it, she ignored it and kept whipping me." Able to tell the truth about what had happened for the first time, her emotions caught up with her and tears flowed freely. She hadn't realized until now just how much that one event was hitting her. Francine, for whatever reason, had betrayed the trust that had been extended to her. Valerie realized that she might never be able to let herself submit to Francine again. Their relationship had changed, and not for the better, in Val's opinion.

After she'd stopped crying, Helen continued. "Now tell me what you're telling the public, the police and the lawyers."

"I told them that I didn't use my safe word at all, that everything that happened was because I wanted and allowed it."

"I understand why you're doing that, but I think the truth would've been better. You're going to be labeled a true masochist publicly. Even some in the lifestyle will shun you as someone who is too dangerous to play with."

"If I tell the truth, Francine will be shunned even more as an untrustworthy player. She didn't ignore my safe word out of malice. She's dealing with a betrayal of her own. She was attacked by her boyfriend for sharing the lifestyle with him and hasn't been able to deal with it."

"I know. I do understand your reasons, I just disagree. Now, has anyone at the hospital told you about you?"

"No. I've been going in and out of sleep."

"I thought not. Why some physicians treat the patient like a security leak, I'll never understand. I'll try to put it in layman's terms. Your back has been savaged. There's extensive bruising from just below the neck down to your ankles. You may develop permanent discolorations similar to port wine birth marks. There are also 14 open wounds from where the whip actually cut into the skin. They should scab over in a day or two and take another two days to form first level scars. I'm ordering you, as your doctor, no whipping or other pain play on your back side for a month. You may well have permanent scars on your back and legs. There are also abrasions on your wrists and ankles form rope burns. Slip knots are a big no-no, they usually pull too tight and cut off circulation. Good news. There is no detectable organ damage. With the level of abuse inflicted to your lower back, we were worried about possible kidney damage. I'm going to order some tests to rule out more subtle damage to any of your organs. I'm going to have the nurse make sure Sally knows how to change the dressings on you so she can change them at home. Yes, the word is out about your relationship and I know you're moving in together. Now Valerie, they have you on some pretty serious pain meds and you'll be on them for a week after you get home, at least. Remember, no play at all while you're on them. I don't want you having any sex at all the first three days you're home. I know that's hard for what are essentially newlyweds, but it'll serve you well in the long run. Do you have any questions?"

"I don't feel like I can trust Francine in a scene again and that hurts. Can I get that back?"

"It's possible, but it'll take time and work on both your parts. I would suggest the two of you go to counseling, if both of you want that. It'll actually be harder for her to trust herself than for you to trust her if she ignored your safe word as the result of mental trauma. If it was deliberate, then there'll be nothing you can do. Once a dominant makes the choice that safe words are ignorable, they'll always believe that. In the short term, no, you can't trust her. That process will take time, and lots of it."

"That's what I was afraid of. Is counseling even an option? Won't a psychiatrist just commit us, or try to cure us in some way?"

"Most will, but not all. The good news is that it's very hard to commit someone because of things they do that don't hurt others. So you can just quit if the psych tries to cure you. There are professionals that'll work with you. There is even a psychiatrist I know in Los Angeles who is a submissive himself. He may know someone nearby who can work with you. That, however, is for the future. First, the physical healing needs to happen. I'm going to check on Francine. I'll let you know some basics when I get back."

The rest of the day was uneventful. Helen found that Francine was on the mend, though she'd suffered extensive injuries in addition to the slit wrists. There were the marks of an inexperienced dominant working her over recently. The cuts on her breasts and inner legs had reopened when she was whipping Valerie, as had the ugly wounds left on her by Painmaster. Helen had seen Painmaster's work before and considered him to be her nemesis, someone she was having to clean up after far too often (even once was too often in her mind). She couldn't get him banned from the local clubs because he never forced himself, finding willing victims, usually among those who were mentally unbalanced in some way. In spite of her revulsion, she had to admire his skill, on a purely professional level, at stopping short of debilitating injury.

Valerie insisted that Sally go home after she delivered the laptop so she could rest properly and take a shower. One of them in the hospital was quite enough. Most of Wednesday was spent having the tests that Helen ordered done. Those confirmed that there was no internal damage. Valerie was told she could go home on Thursday. Sally, at Valerie's insistence, went to work and tried to keep up some semblance of normalcy. Wednesday night, Lilly stopped by to see Valerie.

"Ms. Burbon?"

"Come in Lilly. It's okay. And call me Val; we're not in the office."

"What happened? Are you okay? The paper said that you're a sexual deviant who asked to be hurt like this."

"It's in the paper?"

"Yes. And it's all over the company."

Valerie sighed. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Go ahead and close the door."

Lilly did and stood next to Valerie, tears in her eyes.

"Tell me what you're feeling, Lilly."

"I'm scared and sad. Was I right all along? That this stuff will go too far and you'll get hurt?"

"Lilly, I'll be honest with you. This is a danger in BDSM; that someone will go too far. It's not the norm. Francine has been really messed up recently, and I suppose I should've seen this as possible, but I didn't. I told the police that I wanted everything that happened so Francine wouldn't be arrested. She needs counseling, not jail. In reality, she did not stop when I used my safe word. I got hurt. I can't deny that. I still want to be a submissive, and I will be. Just not to Francine right now, maybe never again."

"How can you go back? Isn't it too dangerous?"

"No, it's not too dangerous, there's just danger involved. Lilly, there's danger in driving a car or crossing the street. We can't eliminate danger from our lives. We can only try to lower the levels of danger to acceptable levels. Would you tell a bungee jumper that they shouldn't play their sport?"

"No. At least, not if I knew that they took all the safety precautions."

"This is no different, and probably safer than bungee jumping. We take precautions and sometimes they fail. That doesn't mean that we stop enjoying ourselves."

"You're serious about that. You enjoy these games you play."

"Yes, tremendously."

Lilly looked thoughtful for a few minutes. She had been thinking about Valerie and her way of having fun for two weeks now. She knew now that there was no way to convince Valerie to leave the lifestyle, not when she intended to stay in it after such an event. Lilly's decision now was how she was going to react. She saw only two choices, turn away and put the knowledge of what was happening to her new friend behind her forever, or accept Valerie for who she was, even the parts that scared her. Valerie had made it clear that Lilly's acceptance had no effect on Val's desire to be her friend. To turn away would be to do to Valerie what she wanted Valerie to stop doing to herself, inflict hurt on her. She couldn't do that.

"Valerie, I don't know if I'll ever be able to understand or be comfortable with your lifestyle. But you're my friend and I won't turn away from you because I'm uncomfortable. You're my friend, and you always will be. I've had friends before that did things that bothered me, this is no different, I guess."

"Lilly, that means so much to me. I suspect that not everyone will make the choice you made. I suspect that I'll not have a job by the end of the week. If they do let me go, don't quit. You deserve the job, no matter what."

"You're right. The rumors are that you're being let go. Something about moral turpitude. It's not right. You're still a good person and a good executive."

"No, it's not right, but it's not a fight I want to wage. I'll come by tomorrow and get it over with."

The night passed. Valerie's back healed more. In the morning, Helen checked her out and cleared her for going home. With her car still in the garage and the painkillers making driving out of the question, she asked Sally to meet her at the office so Sally could drive Valerie's car for her. She took a cab to the office and braced herself for the inevitable.

At her office, she found June packing up her desk. "June, what's going on?"

"I'm leaving. They fired you and I'm leaving."

"June, you don't have to do that. There'll be a replacement for me and you'll be their secretary."

Valerie," she started, tacitly acknowledging that they no longer had a professional relationship. "I don't understand this lifestyle you've chosen. It scares the bejeezus out of me. I worry for my children. We've been friends and fellow professionals for over a decade. I never saw this in you. Will this rub off on my children? I don't know. I know this will hurt you, but I can't let you around my kids. They're the most important things in my life and, even when I know I'm being irrational, I have to do this. That said, you're still my friend, if you want to be. Firing you was wrong, dead wrong. I can't work for a company that would fire a good, no, excellent employee because of their recreational activities. I'm not worried. I'm the best executive secretary in the city; I'll find another position somewhere."

"June, submissiveness doesn't rub off." When June started to respond, Val held up her hand, "Wait, let me finish. You say you still want to be my friend, yet you're changing the nature of our relationship in a fundamental way. I'm not sure what that means in terms of friendship. It hurts, I won't lie. I'm not sure I even understand your decision. But I respect it. They're your kids, not mine. I'm sorry it came to this."

"I'm sorry, too. You'd better go see the president now. Make it official."

Valerie had known that she would lose people, but hadn't realized how much it would hurt. There was a knot in her chest, emotions trying to overwhelm her. She held it in, not wanting to give the ones taking her job away any satisfaction. She had to wait 30 minutes outside his office, and then was told to go in.

"Valerie. I'll get right to the point. You've violated the moral turpitude clause of your contract. As a result, you're fired, effective immediately. I expect you to have your desk cleaned out by the end of the day."

"Sir, my lifestyle does not represent a moral failing."

"Shut up! This is not a discussion. If you feel you're being treated unfairly, file a wrongful termination lawsuit. Be advised, however, we will fight such a suit with the full resources of our legal department. Everyone you know will be dragged into the suit and smeared as an adherent to this disgusting practice. The choice is yours."

"Very well." Valerie was simmering, anger building at a fast pace. "I expect the severance my contract calls for as well as full pay for my accumulated vacation time. I believe I have 45 days saved up. You may be able to smear my friends in a wrongful termination suit, but not in a breach of contract suit. A several million dollar judgment would be just the thing for surviving this travesty."

"Very well." Activating the intercom to his secretary, he ordered, "Susan, have financial cut a check for Ms. Burbon for one month's severance and her full vacation pay. Have it ready in half an hour. She'll pick it up on her way out." Turning back to Valerie, "That's all. Needless to say, there'll be no letter of recommendation. Now get out."

Valerie left, managing to get to her office (June was gone by then) before the sobbing started. Her life was unraveling and she couldn't stop it. She felt powerless, not the good powerlessness from giving up control voluntarily, but the powerlessness from having control ripped from you unwillingly. Her feelings mirrored, in a small way, the feelings of the rape victim. That was how Sally found her when she peeked into the office.

Sally walked over to her friend, kneeling down beside her and held her, not saying a word. She knew that this scene would be replayed many times, as Valerie's life was violently ripped from her, changed in ways she couldn't understand and then forced back down her throat. Sally felt hate in her own heart, not for the company or Francine or any of those people who would turn their backs on Valerie in the days to come, but for Harv. This man she didn't know, had devastated many lives that day weeks ago, just because he was unable to deal with the lifestyle. He could've done anything but what he did and this wouldn't be happening.

Valerie's tears finally ran out. Drying her face, she looked at the woman she loved and said, "Let's get out of here. If I never see this place again, it'll be too soon."

They packed up all of Valerie's belongings and downloaded all her files off the computer. Sally had to do the carrying, since Valerie's back was so sore and fragile. Valerie picked up her check on the way out and they deposited it on the way back to make sure it cleared. The money would last for three or four months if she was frugal. Hopefully, that would be enough time to find another job somewhere.

When she got home, the first thing she saw was the picture of her and Mike, looking over the room like a guardian. "It's just as bad as when Mike died. My life's going to pot again and I can't stop it."

"No! Your life's not going to pot, just your circumstances. Your life will be whatever you make of it. When Mike died, you had Francine to pull you through. Now you have me, Charles, Surmi, Robert and the others to pull you through. I can't promise that things will be okay, but I can promise you that you won't deal with this alone. I took some vacation time. I don't have to be in again until a week from Monday, after our handfasting."

"The handfasting! I won't be able to take anything. I can't give you a gift at it. Maybe we should postpone it."

"Absolutely not! This is a happy time for us. Even in the midst of this tragedy, we'll experience joy. You have much to give me besides your pain and your body. I'm sure you'll find something truly special. I'll find something special as well for you. We'll have enough grief in the next few weeks. Don't have us add to it by canceling a joyous thing."

"You're right. Telling the world how much I love you is something I can hold on to. I don't know if I could make it through this if I didn't have you."

"And you'll never have to know that."

Over the next few days, Valerie and Sally learned lessons, hard lessons, on the nature of prejudice and bigotry. Not all were bad ones, but most were. Her membership in the health club was rescinded, as was her membership in the American Advertisers Society. She received an email notice that her health insurance premiums were going up. Dr. Moore cancelled the appointment that had been set up. Three tabloids called wanting stories about celebrities involved in the D/s world. It didn't seem to matter that she didn't know them and that she had only been active in the local scene for a few weeks. Two book publishers wanted to buy the rights to her story, as did one movie producer. She received two calls from churches. One simply wanted to let her know that they were praying for her and Francine's recovery from their injuries and for their ability to hold up in this time of crisis. The second offered the services of their counselors as well as their prayers. Sally's presence was a rock that she clung to as the changes in her life swept over her. The worst was the eviction. She had 14 days to move out of her apartment. No reason was given, but the month to month lease she had left her with little recourse. The notice came late enough on Friday that she as unable to pursue the houses that she and Francine had looked at. Even then, with no job now, she'd be unable to close on any of them.