We Made A Really Big Mistake

"You looked good up there, been doing this long," I asked.

"Too long. I hopefully have one year left and then after that I can go back to being a wife and mother again," she told me.

"You're married?"

"Yep, seven years this September and I've got a five year old girl. I'd show you a picture but these outfits don't have pockets," she said lifting her top and then dropping it. "What made you want to buy me a drink, you didn't buy any of the other girls one; I was watching," she said sipping on her tea.

"You look a lot like my wife, hell, you could be sisters for Christ's sake," I told her pulling out an old picture of Shannon out of my wallet.

"Hells bells, we do look a lot alike," she said smiling. "And by the look on your face you miss her. On your way home to see her?" she asked.

"Separated," I replied. "I did something really dumb and kind of fucked it up."

"Too bad, but a woman that looks this good would probably forgive one mistake, if it was only one," she said looking at me as I nodded yes. "Well then, get the hell out of here and go home and patch things up. And if it doesn't work, then at least you can say you tried," she told me. And I followed her advice.

I checked out of my room and got on the road again. It was almost 2:30 am when I hit town. My house was dark and I remembered I didn't even have a key any more; I'd left it with every thing else on the counter a couple of months ago. So, I took a deep breath and rang the bell.

"What the hell was I thinking," I said to myself when nothing happened. When the front light came on and I saw Shannon peek out the window I was scared shitless. She opened the door, took one look and slammed it in my face and turned off the light.

"Guess I got my answer," I told myself as I turned around and walked down the sidewalk before the door opened up again.

"That's it? You're leaving? Steve, you really are a fucking wimp," she yelled at me from the door.

"I don't need this shit, Shannon, why don't you fuck yourself," I replied as I opened my car door and started to get in.

A second later she was out the door and standing next to my car.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm still mad. Come on in and let's talk, please," she said pleading with me.

"Go on in, and I'll be there in a second," I said as I reached in the back seat for my overnight bag. "Well, time to bear the lion in her den," I said locking my car door.

I went in and dropped my bag by the door and went looking for Shannon; she was in the kitchen heating up some hot water.

"You look tired, you want some coffee?" she asked.

"Not really, what I need most is some place to crash. If you don't have a problem with it, I'll sleep on the couch tonight and we can talk in the morning," I told her.

"Steve, I've got to be to work early tomorrow. Why don't you get some rest and tomorrow you can watch Danny and reconnect with him. When I get home from work we can talk, ok?"

"Sounds good to me." I got a blanket and pillow out of the closet and before I knew it, I was out like a light. When I woke up, Shannon was gone but she'd left me coffee and a bagel. Danny came bounding down the stairs and screamed when he saw me.

We hugged and I kissed him as he kept asking me question after question. He spent the next half an hour telling me, in great detail, what he'd been up to.

"I stay with grandma sometimes, I've got a new bike, mom took me to Chucky Cheese, can we go there tonight?" he asked.

"We'll talk to mom when she get's home," I replied.

We had breakfast; I helped him dress and finally turned on the television for him. We watched cartoons and after lunch I put in a Disney DVD, which we watched on the couch together. When I told him it was naptime, he asked if I was going to be there when he woke up. I told him yes, gave him a big kiss and tucked him in bed.

For the next half hour I looked around the house. Not much had changed. The grass needed cutting; the BBQ grill was dirty as hell and the rest of my clothes were still in my closet. "Shit, why hadn't my brother done the one thing I'd asked of him?"

"Hi mom," I said as she answered the phone. "I just got back into town last night and wanted you to know," I told her. "Why didn't Dave pickup my clothes like I asked?"

"I told him not to," my mother replied. "If you want to end your marriage then you're going to have to do it yourself," she said in a stubborn voice. "You really need to talk to Shannon and see your son damn it," she said in a much louder voice.

"I'm with Danny right now and Shannon's at work. I plan on talking to her later tonight," I told her.

"Good, you're finally listening to me," she said as only my mother could.

"Yes mother," I said as she gave me more and more advice. "Mom, I have to go, Danny's getting up. I'll call you tomorrow," I told her.

"Steve honey, just listen to her and don't lose your temper," was her final advise before hanging up.

I showered, shaved and almost felt human again until I walked back into the bedroom and saw the vibrator still sticking out of the wall. That brought back all the memories from that night. Shannon bringing that guy home, the sex we'd had that night, all the emotions started flooding back and my brain started screaming at me again.

"What the hell was I thinking coming back here? It's going to get ugly tonight and I've finally come to grips with what I did. I've beaten myself up enough, no more," I thought to myself. "We just need to finalize it and both move on," I told myself, as I got dressed. I was sitting on the bed, putting on my shoes when my emotions overtook me again. I looked around at what use to be our bedroom, put my head in my hands and cried, hell I wept like a baby. I was happy, we were happy and I'd screwed up. Maybe if I'd talked to her right away we could have worked it out. Unlikely, but there would have been a chance, not now. Too much had happened.

I was throwing the rest of my clothes from my closet on the bed when I saw Shannon in the doorway.

"Leaving again? I thought we were going to talk," she asked.

"What's the point Shannon," I said without even looking at her. "You'll never forgive me, hell, I'll never be able to forgive myself," I said tossing a shirt across the room in anger.

"How about Danny, you going to walk away from him too? What do I tell him this time? That his dad didn't have the balls to tell him he was leaving again. That he just slithered out under the door like a fucking snake; is that what you want me to say to him?" she asked.

"Tell him what you want, you're going to anyway," I said getting a little angry at her statements.

"You don't want to talk about it? You just want to toss our marriage on the scrap heap without trying again?" Shannon asked.

"Look, you know what I did. I didn't plan it, it just happened. I was so distraught that it about killed me. And if I didn't kill our marriage, you sure put it into cardiac arrest," I told her.

"So we both cheated, we're even and now we can rebuild our marriage."

"Yeah right, two cheaters trying to make another go of it. The only problem, is that you cheated on me with Roger before you even knew what I'd done; and that night wasn't the first time for you either," I said waiting for her reaction.

"I only did it that one night. Sure I'd danced and maybe kissed a few guys but never went all the way until that night, and I was drunk."

"I guess not drunk enough not to bring him home for round two. And what was that all about Shannon? Were you planning on rubbing my nose in it? Showing me that you could pickup a guy and fuck him in our damn bed? What did you think I was going to do, let you cuckold me in my own fucking house," I shouted at her.

"I don't know," she screamed back at me. "I was drunk and it felt so good to have a man in my arms, someone who wanted me, someone who wanted to fuck me; and yes it felt good God damn it. It'd been over four months and I needed it," she said trying to explain her actions. "And it's not like you were going to do anything in the foreseeable future."

"And what were you going to do the on the next girl's night out? Have a gang bang with a couple of guys? I may have fucked up our marriage for which I'll never forgive myself, but you gave up on it too," I said sitting back on the bed. "I'm just tired and have no more fight left in me," I told her.

We just stood there looking at each other. Neither one of us had anything to say. If it wasn't for Danny running into our room I don't have a clue what we'd done next.

His mouth was going a mile a minute telling his mom that dad said we were going to Chucky Cheese tonight so we all had to get ready. He came over and gave me another hug and taking my hand, he told me that he wanted to watch the Disney movie again with me. I looked at Shannon and went downstairs with him.

Kids never forget a thing, especially if it's something they want. We ended up at Chucky Cheese whether we wanted to be there or not. It was quiet between us and it seemed we were talking to each other through Danny now. When we got back home and Shannon told him it was time for bed, he grabbed my hand.

"Daddy, come on, mommy said we have to get ready for bed," as he led me into his room. I got him undressed, washed up and into bed. "Daddy, I'm going to make breakfast for you tomorrow," he told me. "I love you daddy," he said putting his head down for the night. I wanted to fucking cry.

"Why don't you stay in the spare room until we figure this out," Shannon suggested. "This way Danny can be happy if just for a little while,' she said red eyed. I agreed and moved my shit into our spare bedroom. And for the next week we lived as a fake happily married couple.

"Are you going out Friday?" Shannon asked Friday morning.

"Nope, just going to spend the night here, why?"

"I was going to go out with a few friends after work." She told me.

"If you're going out to get laid, do it some where else; don't bring him home that's all I ask," I told her.

"What do you think I am, some fucking slut? For your information I haven't been with anyone since that night," she spit at me. "Unlike you."

"Sorry to disappoint you Shannon, I haven't been with anyone since that last night when I had Roger's sloppy seconds," I replied. "As I said, do what you want, just not here," I said just before I left for work.

If nothing else work was going well. Word of mouth on my last marathon trip was that I'd saved the company a ton of money and was getting bumped upstairs. I heard nothing was for sure but my prospects looked good.

Shannon came home about 11:30 Friday night and was looking hotter than I'd seen her in a long time. I was reading the paper in the living room when she came in. Hell, lets be honest, I was waiting up for her.

"Have fun?" I asked.

"I guess. What time did Danny lay down?"

"I put him down at 8:00 but he didn't finally fall asleep until almost a quarter to nine," I told her. "You want some coffee or something?" I asked.

"No, I'm a little tired and I think I'll just turn in. Goodnight," she said walking upstairs.

I locked up and followed her upstairs. I took off my pants and shirt and threw them in the hamper. In my boxers I went down to check on Danny. As I passed Shannon's bedroom I kind of looked in. She was naked getting into the shower. I got hard instantly.

"Looks like it still works," I said as I went into my room and slipped into bed. She probably had sex and needed a shower to clean up. "Lucky bastard," I said to myself as I fell asleep.

We did family things the entire weekend. We went to the zoo; down by the lake and Sunday we were going to have a BBQ. The one thing I did notice since I'd been back was that Shannon was now a real lush. She had a drink before dinner, usually a bottle of wine with dinner and at least two to three drinks before bed. More than once I thought I'd have to carry her up the stairs and put her to bed. Sunday she was half blasted before dinner.

"Steve you want a drink?" she asked, I'm making a pitcher of Salty Dogs.

"No thanks, I think I'll just have a beer," I replied.

"Your loss," she said as I heard the blender crunching the ice.

How many had she had, I hadn't a clue, but by the time I got Danny to bed, the pitcher was empty and she was sitting at the kitchen table with her head resting on the table.

"Shit, she's blasted," I said to myself as I finished cleaning up. "Looks like I'm going to have to put her to bed tonight," I said pulling her up from her chair.

"I can walk," she said falling on the floor.

"Yeah right," I said picking her up off the floor and carrying her to her room. I gently laid her on the bed and took her sandals off. When she tried to sit up and take off her blouse she fell back on the bed. I unbuttoned it, and worked her arms out before pulling it all the way off. I undid her shorts and pulled those down next. I figured I'd better take her bra off. "Hell, it wasn't something I'd never seen anyway."

"God damn she was still beautiful," I said to myself as I sat on the bed next to her. She was out like a light so I did something I probably shouldn't have done considering the circumstances; I kissed her, not once but a couple of times.

"I still love you Shannon, and I think I always will," I said kissing her again and touching her breasts. I remembered the last time we'd done it, and I wasn't going to do that again. I kissed her one more time, licked both nipples and covered her with a sheet. "Damn," is all I said as I walked back to my room with a raging hard on.

Monday morning Shannon just kept looking at me, and I didn't have a clue why. After dinner Monday night and after Danny was in his bed, drink in hand, she asked me if I enjoyed undressing her Sunday night.

"Did you get a little friendly with me? I didn't notice any deposits so I guess it didn't go too far; too bad, you probably would have liked it," she said downing the last of her drink. "You use to anyway."

"Last time was a mistake. I was angry and took advantage of you and I'm sorry about that," I told her.

"Well I wasn't, and it looks like you finally solved your problem," she said getting another drink.

"Yeah, it only took my wife cheating to put the lead back into my dick," I said and then regretted it immediately. "Shannon I'm sorry," I started to say but the damage was already done.

"Fuck you Steve. If you'd been man enough to take care of business at home, I wouldn't have had to go out and find someone else. So kiss my ass you sanctimonies dick," she yelled going upstairs.

"Well that went well," I said slumping into my chair.

"When I finally went up to my room, I could hear Shannon crying in her bedroom. I probably should have tried to apologize again but just quietly snuck into my room and stared at the ceiling until I fell asleep.

What the hell we were doing wasn't clear to either of us. I waited for her to file and I think she did the same. We were pleasant to each other and a couple of times over the next month it was like we were before all this shit happened and then one of us would say something stupid and we'd be back at each others throats again. I was losing patience.

When I found out I got the promotion I was pumped. I was now in charge of all the field crews. It wasn't a hell of a lot more money, but I finally didn't have to travel every couple of weeks anymore.

"We're planning a little dinner for you Saturday night. Nothing big, just the managers and the field supervisors," my boss told me. "So I'll expect you and Shannon at Tony's at 8:00, and congratulations again," he told me shaking my hand. "You earned it."

"Are you doing anything Saturday night?" I asked her that night.

"Why?" she replied.

"We've been invited to a dinner my boss is throwing," I told her being carefully not to mention why.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"It would be nice if you came, only if you want to though," I told her.

"Alright I'll go. What time and where is it?" she asked.

I gave her the details and we had a pleasant week together. She was easing up on the booze and I actually was starting to enjoy being home again.

"This just might work," I told myself.

Saturday when she came downstairs, Shannon took my breath away; she was gorgeous.

"I picked up this little number, what do you think?" she asked.

"You look beautiful," I said which brought a smile to her face.

It was a little quiet in the car as we drove. We talked about bullshit for lack of a better word.

"I'm glad you asked me," she finally said as we arrived at Tony's.

Everyone was patting me on the back and congratulating me as Shannon looked on with this puzzled look on her face. At dinner my boss made a little speech saying what a good job I'd done and at least I'd be staying home from now on looking at Shannon

"What the hells going on?" she asked.

I told her about my promotion and instead of being happy; she got this cross look on her face.

"And you were going to tell me when?" she asked. "How about if I hadn't come, would you just left a note on the damn kitchen table again?" she said, now a little pissed.

"I just thought it would be a nice surprise for you tonight. I don't have to go on the road anymore," I told her.

"How long have you known about it?" she asked.

"Since Tuesday," I replied.

"So I have to hear the big news from your boss and it looks like I'm the last to know as usual," she said getting up and walking over to the bar.

"Guess that didn't go over well," I said to myself as I thanked a few people. "I guess in retrospect I probably should have said something before we got here, but I thought she'd be happy for me. I guess to her it looked like I was keeping secrets again; I just can't win," I finally said to myself as I looked for Shannon.

Within an hour she was feeling no pain and was swaying to the music from the DJ. I probably should have gone over by her, but I just watched from a distance as one then another guy asked her to dance. I was drinking and when the last guy put his hands on her ass I stormed out onto the dance floor and dragged him off her.

"Get your damn hands off my wife," I told him a little too loud. "And Shannon, if you're bound and determined to get laid tonight, at least have the courtesy not to do it in front of me," I told her.

The slap came from somewhere out in left field but I felt the sting and the heat on my cheek almost immediately. The last thing I remember seeing was Shannon running out of the room and Ronnie apologizing for laying his hands on her ass.

"Steve, I wasn't doing anything honest. I'd never fuck with your wife man, you've got to believe me Steve," he said but I wasn't listening anymore, but looking for Shannon.

She was gone, not just from the hall, but from Tony's as well. How she got home I hadn't a clue all I remember is driving home and trying to apologize through the locked bedroom door, but with the exception of a few sobs it was quiet.

She didn't come out of the room until just after 11:00 and her eyes were beet red.

"I want you out of here today. I don't give a fuck where you go, just leave and take all your shit with you. I never want to see you again." With that said she went back upstairs.

My brothers and I spent Sunday afternoon moving my shit out. I don't know if Shannon was still in her bedroom or if she'd gone over to her mothers to pick up Danny. I'd fucked up it looks like for the last time.

I left her a note saying how sorry I was, and I probably should have said something to her before the dinner but I thought she'd be happy I no longer had to travel. Guess I was wrong. This time I had nothing to leave with the note.

My mom gave me holy hell for the next two weeks.

"You'd better get on your damn hands and knees and beg her to take your sorry ass back," she told me. I told her it was too late for that. My dad didn't comment other than to say that we never talked about our problems, and he was right.