Welcome to Population

I thought the rest of the day would be a blur. No amount of weed would have quite the same effect. I was wrong. Because the rest of the day turned out to be quite clear.

Throughout the interview with Sheriff McGruff after breakfast, I wondered if I had anything left when I do get home. In addition to what would happen if I had actually killed something bigger, let say for example a cow, or even a person. This was because I got the full criminal investigation treatment, right down to the fingerprinting process and the request through fax of my criminal record. A bit of overkill. (A few speeding tickets was all I had, and those were fully paid up.)

While the state police were sending over their findings, I was sitting dejectedly in an empty cell. The cell door was open though, but I had no intention of running. Surprisingly, to me anyway, the sheets on the cell bed were clean. The pillow was soft and clean as well. I took that as a sign saying that I should lie down and forget about my life.

I had closed my eyes for a few moments when I felt a presence standing over me. I could smell her as well.

"Well, well, well. It looks to me like you got what you deserve. Jail time."

She was right; community service here in this small town would be like jail time. Worse, she had a pretty dimpled smile, and white teeth. And clear blue eyes shining mirthfully. She had changed into a pair of loose jean and a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. And she was wearing a pair of galoshes.

"Joy's still alive?" I blurted out.

She only nodded while still smiling.

"She lives. She's alive... At least now my name is cleared. And you can admit that you're wrong about me. I'm not a murderer. Come on, you can admit it. You can be gracious about it, after what I've been through..."

"Sure. Once you've served your sentence, and you've paid your dues..."

I eyed at her suspiciously, and asked, showing my lack of understanding, "What do you mean? Explain in simple, easy-to-understanding layman terms, please. I think I've gone through enough shocks for one day, that another one will not have matter much."

"Okay. The medicine and shots cost 200 hundred dollars. The cast on her right leg another 80. And the care for her until she's able to walk again, oh, let's put it at a round figure, say 500?" She was still smiling. I now know what Adam must have felt when Eve asked him to take a bite out of that apple.

"Geez, lady. Do you think I've HMO? I don't have that much cash with me. I can use my credit card, but I would like a second opinion if you don't mind. I'd like to speak to the vet treating Joy and get his estimate and bill."

"Fair enough. Dr. Sheryl McGruff, Doctor of Veterinary Medicine at your service. Please to meet you, Mr. Jimmy Irving. Now how can I possibly help you?" She held out her hand, and now was clearly grinning.

No matter how pretty she was the only image I had of her at that point was one of her with horns, a forked tail and a trident, together with flames. The devil in disguise. Or more than likely, an alien in the guise of human, looking for subjects to experiment on. No wonder most of the alien spotting happened out in rural areas.

"Wait a minute. If you're a vet, then how come you didn't realize that your dog was still alive?"

"When I was holding her, she was not breathing."

"I can believe that." Yeah, right! A money grabbing /life-sucking / whoring /harlot /bitch /*insert your own expletive here* woman here. Or an alien, not those illegal ones from Mexico either...

"Believe whatever you want to, Mr. Irving. It all amounts to the fact that Uncle Ben can hold you here till you pay. Or I can get my dad to sentence you to a harsher punishment. It's as simple as that. It's your choice, really. I can tell you that my dad dotes on me, and I can practically get him to do anything for me."

So, a whole town full of aliens. Invasion from outer space. Women are from Venus, and men are from Mars. Get the drift? Aliens!

She could be gracious to a beaten man, even though I did not expect such a thing to exist, not especially from the womankind.

"You can drive me out to Landis' farm on your way out. My car is at the shop, and my practice is on the way. I have a credit card machine there."

I imagined that this was the start of my community service. Chauffeuring her around was not a bad idea, really. I mean I could go to someplace quiet and bury her lifeless body. No one would be the wiser. Besides, I assumed that the Landis farm was isolated, so no one will know that she was missing for at least a few hours. I rubbed my hands in glee, as that thought got more and more gruesome...

"You can start your service whenever you can arrange it, Mr. Irving. Hopefully it'll be as soon as possible. I don't have to remind you about the consequences of not showing up, do I?" Ben said. I nodded and promised that I would serve, as soon as I can arrange the time. He seemed satisfied with that, although I secretly think that the State Police would be involved somehow.

"You're pretty quiet."

"Nothing much to say, really. Dead man walking, and all that, Ms. McGruff or should I call you Doc McGruff..."

"Ah. Sarcasm will get you somewhere, Mr. Irving. No, please call me Sheryl, everyone does."

"And you can call me Mr. Irving, Sheryl. Harrumph!"

"Ah. Rage will get you somewhere as well. Perhaps, I should ask my dad to issue a court order requesting for a rectal exam, as it seems that you have something rigid stuck up your sphincter, Mr. Irving..."

"Um... That won't be necessary. Please call me Jim, or Jimmy. Personally I prefer Jim. Three letters, and only one syllable. It's easier."

"Look Jim, despite what opinions you may have of us, we're not monsters. But we do expect justice to be served. You ran that Stop sign. This time it was only Joy that got hurt. But two years ago, it was little Missy. And Missy is a girl who now who walks with a limp and a cane. You big-city folks think that we don't exist, and that you can blatantly run Stop signs or traffic lights. But Missy is real, and so too is Joy. In fact, I was surprised that my dad sentenced you so lightly. I was expecting that he would throw the book at you."

I was quiet, and remained so. The wind had been taken off my sails. It was only a dog this time, like she said. What if it was Sheryl instead? That thought troubled me. And she was right. I was like a "big-city" guy, ignoring the small town.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are. But that doesn't get you off the hook that easily."

"How long have you been a vet?" Trying to change the subject.

"I graduated last year. I've been helping my aunt since I was twelve. She's the regular vet. That's where we're going to now, her farm."

"Wow, a relative not named McGruff? That's indeed a novelty. Maybe I can get a second opinion about Joy and get a refund?" I grinned, silently cursing at the lame attempt at humor.

"No, silly. Firstly, there are only 3 McGruffs in town. There's my dad, and uncle Ben. But Aunt Mavis took her husband's name when she got married. Where did you get the idea that we're an inbred town? Secondly, Aunt Mavis charges more than I do." Her tone in the middle was challenging, to say the least.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I figured, since the few persons that I've met so far have been McGruffs. So naturally, I was suspicious. Sorry."

"I know you're sorry. I heard you the first time when you held me. I heard you again, and again all morning. You say it overly much, you know. Soon, I might take it that you don't mean it anymore."

"Sorry... umm... Okay, that was a natural reaction. Won't happen again."

On top of the lawyers' bill and the divorce settlement, this new addition to the credit card bill would put me on my knees. I had not reached my limit yet, but running this particular Stop sign was whole lot more expensive that I had ever imagined.

A quick swipe of the card, and a shaky signature on the receipt, and we were off again.

The Landis farm was isolated, being about 5 miles from the main road. By then my murderous thoughts had pretty much dissipated. I just sat and enjoyed the drive. The day was getting brighter and hotter. There was not much to see, unless one happened to like rural scenery. I passed a lot of cows grazing. A typical dairy farm it seemed. I even commented to Sheryl that chocolate milk must come from brown cows. But she just looked at me funnily, like I was a prime candidate for the funny farm. Ha, Ha. I was good at puns. Not!

I was surprised when Sheryl asked me to help with whatever she was going to do. And since I could now take my time getting back home, I agreed. We went into an old huge barn. It was empty except for a cow and two other people. I was quickly introduced to Mavis and her husband.

The next hour or so would be the highlight of the day. The cow was pregnant, but the calf was turned the wrong way. It was Sheryl's job to turn it around. Mavis could have done it, but this was an opportunity for Sheryl to gain some experience.

Truthfully, it was erotic for me to see Sheryl's hand, wrapped to her shoulder in plastic, sticking it all the way into the cow's pussy. It really conjured up a wrong image for me, but my "little brother" had ideas of its own. Little twitches here and there. Of course, to see Sheryl wiggling her arm in there also make me involuntary twitch my buttocks a bit. Simply, painful and erotic at the same time. Gods! I am definitely going to hell for this...

Then to my utter surprise, I was asked to done the shoulder-length glove as well and assist Sheryl. I knew that this was not part of my community service. This could not be possibly happening to me. It just could not be possible at all.

I was being volunteered, without my consent. Mr. Landis was quietly and calmly whispering to the cow, while Mavis was monitoring its vital signs, and preparing some syringes. I thought I just had to hold up the tail and that was the extent of it.

"Inside, you can feel a hoof. I want you to hold on to that, while I bring its head around. Don't let it kick. Just hold. It's not so far in that you'll have to stick your whole arm in. Understand and ready?"

I felt the hoof, and held on to it. It was strong, wanting to kick, but I tried my best, and it seemed to be enough.

I twisted to one side and put my free arm around Sheryl, so that she can get her whole arm in. During the whole time, I had my face partially buried in her curls. Even in this barn, her hair smelled really nice and warm. I used it to lock out the smell coming from the cow's butt. By this time, "little brother" was fully awake, and was pressing through my pants against Sheryl's hips. Her quick wink to me made me blush right down to the roots of my hair. This was so unreal, and utterly gross under normal circumstances. It was just that her body was eliciting responses that I cannot hide.

"Jim, you can let go now. Unless you prefer otherwise. Hehehe! And you can let go of me as well."

"Sorry... Oops. I said that again didn't I?"

She nodded faintly. She looked tired, but her infectious smile was still there.

I got a slice of delicious chocolate cake and some coffee for my assistance when we were all finished washing up. I was still blushing I think, but the evidence had gone back to sleep thankfully.

"Do you think you'll be back here again?" Sheryl asked when she walked me to the truck.

"I have to be. I've got community service. Remember? I won't run from that. Besides I rather enjoyed that session up a cow's butt." I winked and smiled.

"So did I. I'll see you soon." And she winked and smiled in return.

In my rear view mirror, I saw that she was still standing there until I could not see her anymore. Truth to be told, despite the circumstances that had totally engulfed me in just one day, I felt a little bit of regret leaving this small town. I tried to suppress it. I knew that I had a life to rebuild when I got back.

I was right when I figured that I had not much left waiting for me. And I am not talking about Marlene either. She did take me to the cleaners. I had to move out of my house in 2 days. I had thought that I would get to keep the house. But I got to keep my store. It was not much, but any victory was welcomed. In my absence I had received an offer letter from Home Depot, offering to buy me out. The sum was insulting to say the least. But they had the advantage in that I could lose everything when their store was officially opened. It was a "take-it-or-leave-it" deal.

I took the deal. In the end, when the dust settled, all I had left was my beloved truck, all my clothes and some mementoes, and the TV. I fought hard for that beautiful and new 29 inch flat-screen. Most of the money of the sale went to Marlene for alimony and paying all the bills. I still had some left, for survival until I could put in an application with Home Depot.

My two workers had already submitted their application, and were warmly received. I had expected the same since I clearly know my way around tools and such. Apparently, they presumed that I would want a managerial position, and they loathed giving it to me. So they hung on to my application, until they can get more applications in. Those Bastards!

I slept in the small room at the back of my store, well not my store anymore. I was trying to put off looking for an apartment for as long as possible, figuring that I could save some money until it was absolutely necessary. Lying on the mattress down on the floor at night, I kept picturing how my life could have turned to dust. Whatever happened to the pursuit of happiness as guaranteed by the Constitution?

Then inevitably and naturally, my thoughts turned to Sheryl and that charming little town. I had not forgotten that I still owed the town some service. I could still picture her, right next to me, with both of our hands deep inside a cow's pussy. I could still smell her hair. And with these thoughts came the realization that I was smitten by her. It could also mean that I was a sick bastard and was going mad. I could not be falling in love with her. Not especially when we had stuck our hands up a cow's pussy. Moreover, I had only known her for a short while, not even a whole day.

I tried convincing myself that it was lust, not love. Just pure, unadulterated lust. Then how come I had so vividly remembered every freckle on her cheeks? Or her earlobes?

Well, there was only one way to find out. To go through my obligation and be done with it. At least I would know, one way or the other...

"Good to see you back here, Mr. Irving. I'm glad that I was wrong about you. I assumed that you would not turn up. Please accept my apology." Ben held out his hand.

I took the hand, puzzled at two things. The first, an apology from Sheriff McGruff was the last thing that I had expected. And the second, his smile was so out of place in the image that I had of him all this while.

"Please call me Jim. And where and how do I start?"

"I found out that you own a hardware store. Do you know how to fix steps?"

"Yes I do. But I don't own the store anymore. I sold that to the up-and-coming Home Depot. I know I couldn't compete."

"Okay. Mrs. Althing needs the back porch steps fixed. She can pay for the materials, but the labor is all up to you. Think you can do a good job?"

"I need a place to stay though. I don't have my house anymore. Even if I did, I would not be driving back and forth while I'm serving the sentence. I can't pay much, as the divorce court, the one that I missed, took a lot out of me."

"Oh you can sleep here in the jail if you don't mind it. There is a shower in the back. You can take your laundry to Doris. My wife will see to it that you get clean clothes. We're not monsters Jim. We understand the need for creature comforts."

The lockup cell looked to be as good as anything I could find in this town. There was the added attraction of it being free. Might as well go all the way. Besides pancakes in the morning sounded heavenly. I would never have guessed that serving community service could be so rewarding.

I was definitely going mad.

It took me two days, but Mrs. Althing, who bakes the best cookies in town, was very proud of her new back porch steps. From then on, I was kept pretty busy. There were whole lot of things that needed fixing, and the town was determined to make use of my time there to the fullest. Even the statue was scrubbed clean. By far, not my most favorite job of all. I even got hit a few times during cleaning by those experts in aerial bombardment. By then I had pretty much settled in the cell. I even managed to hook up my TV. There was no cable, but it did not matter because I seldom watch TV anyway. It was the principle of winning the TV more than the TV itself.

I only managed to say a few "hi" and "bye" to Sheryl in the first two weeks I was there. I smiled at her, and she beamed back. I looked at her with more than once with longing, and she reciprocated, to my surprise. She was warm, even with the relatively few words she expended for me. Slowly I was beginning to change from wanting the chance to prove my hypothesis to something else. I was too stupid to realize that though, as I was still on the bandwagon of lust. That came to fore when I was asked to fix Sheryl's office door.

My jaw dropped when I saw her that morning. She was wearing a pair of khaki shorts, those that had pockets by the sides instead of on the back and front, and was wearing a sleeveless white t-shirt. She did not have any bra on, by the way her nipples stuck out in front, and by the color of her areola through the shirt. I could see her long legs molding into the roundness of her buttocks. Firm buttocks I might add. It did not shake or jiggle like Marlene's, but still voluptuous all the same. I could also see her panties making a broad shaped "U" that merged into a tight vee where her thighs met her buttocks.

My hypothesis was proven, or more precisely in this case, disproved. I was unquestionably lusting after her. My "little brother", was way ahead of me. My breathing became ragged, and in short burst, much like sucking up enough air since all the blood had flowed down from my head.

I did not even hear her "Hi" as I continued staring at her loveliness.

She had to wave her hand in from of my face to break my trance. It was then that my face turned red in embarrassment. I stammered my apology, weak and insincere sounding, cause I really had nothing to apologize for. Who could blame a guy for staring at a beautiful woman?

The rest of the day was a blur. The door was easy enough to fix. It just needed new hinges. A new coat of varnish would help as well. It was solid wood, not those cheap plywood ones, so it was worth saving. But not by my hands it seemed. I got new hinges, but made mistakes in the measurements, so the door now would not fit in the frame until I got it right. It fell on me once, but the cold compress on my head erased the pain. It allowed me to lie on the couch while Sheryl got me a cup of tea. It also allowed me to hold her hand when she was worried that I might have to go to the hospital.

I did not tell her that the door fell on my foot. I had grazed my head when I tried to prevent it from crashing through the window. A little white lie would not hurt.

I eventually got more varnish on my clothes than on the door. Which was not a good thing, since I smelt of acridly turpentine instead of smelling manly. I was getting high actually. The only thing, which I think came out positive for me was that Sheryl, had a good laugh. I was acting like a horny and idiotic high-school kid, and she had the grace to laugh.

By the end of the day, my reward was a lopsided, garishly varnished door that had opened only once and got stuck. There was also an invitation to bring me some cold fried chicken to me in the cell later in the evening. All in all, it was a good day. A date with a beautiful woman eating cold chicken in my cell was still a date. A beggar cannot be a chooser I guessed.