Where Trouble Lurks

"Well, your body is in great shape. To put it like some of my friends would, you Dave are a hottie."

She blushed as did I when she called me a 'hottie'. I just changed the subject and hoped that this little...whatever it was would go away.

"Eggs are ready. Would you like some jam or jelly for the toast?"

Lynn sat down as I served the food she had mostly cooked. We ate and as time went by we calmed down from our earlier conversation. By the time we were finished eating I knew that there was an attraction between us that I hadn't seen before, or if I had seen it I had held it back out of the fore front of my mind.

Lynn left after breakfast and I was alone for the rest of the day. I let her take my car, since I had the truck yet too. It was a Saturday and I did the usual yard work all the while thinking about what moves I needed to make on Monday. I couldn't let Dawns indiscretion of the last year go by without some kind of action on my part.

The more I thought about things the more I knew that while we may separate for a while, I didn't really want to divorce her. After having read her diaries and knowing pretty much what she was thinking all this time, I knew that we were about to have one of the hardest times in our marriage.

In spite of her though, I knew that I loved her enough to want to try to fix things between us. I wasn't sure if we'd get that far though because of her actions. I had a lot to think about and I also knew I had to push Dawn hard now for a while at least.

She first of all had to get a little idea of the pain her cheating caused me. She also had to know that I wasn't some wimp or push over kind of guy either. She had to understand that if I forgave her this affair, that if there was another one that would be all between us in that instant. If I could only forgive her for this one that is.

I wasn't so sure I'd be able to forgive her for her affair with this Steve person and I wasn't so sure that my ideas on what she'd have to do to begin the healing would go over with her at all. In my mind I built a list of things I'd require of her, and none of them were too much with the exception of her job.

I decided that if we were to stay together she'd have to quit her job. Several reasons came to mind for me. The biggest one was that her job had set her up to have the affair in the first place. The secondary reason was that I'd not be too trusting of her for quite some time and she'd have a long hard road to repair that trust too. Her job required her to be out of town on her own too much for my taste now.

Her job had to go. It had led to her cheating on me and it had covered for her to have the time and place to cheat, so it was definitely out. Of course, knowing Dawn as I did, I knew that she'd fight tooth and nail about leaving her partnership behind and doing something else at this stage of our lives.

I knew that after she got back next week our lives would be on edge. I wasn't sure how she'd take my demands, and I had a list of them after having read her diaries. She was going to either have to learn to love the new me or she'd hate me totally. There was no other way that I could see though. I also know that I have nothing to lose.

Knowing that she was a lawyer and had lots of connections, I'd have to work to find the right representation for me in case this went the divorce route. I also knew that if it went the divorce route Dawn would have some of the best attorneys in the state working for her.

I had to have an edge one way or the other. I sat down and made up a list of things to do on Monday and then Tuesday too. I also knew that I'd have to take some time from work if I could. I'd need it one way or the other.

Later that night Dawn called me.

"Hi sweetie. How are you? You didn't call me last night and I was expecting it. Is there something wrong?"

"Oh hey there Dawn. Something wrong? NO. I just had a hard day at work and when I got home I hit the sack early. How are things in Boston? Are you and your client getting it done? Got everything worked out between you two?"

There was a short pause after my question about her client. I'd never questioned her about her clients before, especially on the phone. I just couldn't resist the temptation to dig at her just a little bit, but I knew that I couldn't go too far or she'd know that I had found her out. I was having a hard time just trying to sound normal as it was.

"The client and I are doing fine. Matter of fact I may be done a bit early and get home a few days before I thought I would. Are you okay Dave? You sound...I don't know, tense maybe? Why were you at work today anyway?"

"I'm fine. Just a long day doing the yard work. Lots to do around here to keep up with things, know what I mean? Let something go too long and bad things begin to happen. If you let a little thing go, it can come back to bite you on the ass real quick. You can be fooled into thinking that things are good when they're really about to fall all apart. Just had a lot of things to catch up on."

Another dig and another pause on the phone. This was by far the quietest phone time we'd ever had. I wasn't talking unless spoken to, and she was probably trying to sound me out and get a feel for my mood.

"Oh. You know Dave maybe we should take a break next week or month and go on a long vacation. Just you and me. We could go anywhere you'd like to if you wanted. Where would you like to go?"

"How about Boston? You know your way around there now and I've never been there. I'd like to see everything. You could be my tour guide."

Dead silence.

"You there honey? Dawn?" I was pressing now.

"Yes. I'm here. Dave, is there something that you're upset about? Is there something wrong?"

"No. Not at all honey. You said that we could take a vacation wherever I wanted to go and I figured that Boston might be an interesting place to visit. You should know the best places to stay and go have fun at by now having been there so much over the last year and all. I thought why not?"

I could sense her tension now. She had to be wondering if I knew. I'd even bet that once she got off the phone with me she'd call Lynn and bounce things off of her for a bit. I had to make sure that couldn't happen.

While our conversation was going on from that point on, I had my cell phone on speed dial and was trying to get Lynn. She picked up and I put Dawn on speaker phone, without talking to Lynn.

"So Dawn...you think you might finish up early?"

I spoke loudly so that Lynn could tell I was on the phone with Dawn. Having Lynn on her phone meant that Dawn wouldn't be able to call her and I had to talk to Lynn immediately after our conversation got over with. I had to make sure Lynn didn't give me away.

"What? Yes, that's what I said earlier Dave. What's going on with you? You're acting very strange."

"Dawn, I have had a long day and weird things have gone on. I'm just in a mood I guess. I'm sorry. If you want I could call you tomorrow and I will probably be in a far better mood then too."

Another pause then she came back.

"Yeah. That might be a good idea Dave. I'll call you though, okay? Dave, I love you...you know that...right?"

"Of course I know all about that Dawn. Take care."

Hanging up I picked up the cell phone and heard Lynn.

"Son of a bitch. She's going to call me isn't she? What did you tell her Dave?"

"I took a few digs at her, but not enough to let her know that I knew about her affair. Just enough to worry her maybe. I think she is going to call you soon though and I had to let you know that I don't want her to know that I know about her affair yet. Please Lynn...I know this isn't fair, but you're in the middle of all this thanks to Dawn anyway..."

"Dave, she won't find out from me that you know. Matter of fact I'll kind of hint that I'm holding it back from you. She'll calm down and probably think you were just in a bad mood. After the last few days I couldn't sell you out Dave. I care too much for you to do that. Dawn broke my heart when she told me about Steve, and all I've thought about was how unfair and hurtful this would be to you."

"Thank you Lynn. I know you care for me and I hope you know that I think the world of you too. I need to go to bed now. Good luck on the phone call. She'll probably call you straight away I'd imagine."

"Yeah, she will. Goodnight Dave. Sleep tight. Love you and all that stuff."

Her words stopped me dead. She'd never told me 'love you' before. I knew that there were many things going on in undercurrents and Lynn sounded like there may be more to that 'love you' than just a friendly kind of thing. It worried me.

The next morning I finished up the yard work around the house and then went for a run. When I got home Lynn was on the front porch with two large cold ice teas in her hands.

"Hey there Dave. I brought your car back and figured you might want a cold drink. Take a long run?"

"Yeah. Three miles early this morning. Five just now. A bit lower than usual but I had some yard work to get done too."

"Wow. I never knew you ran so much either. You really take working out seriously don't you?"

"Yeah. I do. No big deal really. I just work out by lifting one weight and then another. Run pretty much the same way, one foot out, then the other. It all comes together. Eventually."

"Why didn't I know this about you anyway?"

"Never came up. My workouts are usually done in the mornings before I go to work, and you're never around then. My running...well, you and Dawn would be out so you probably never knew I ran either."

"I noticed yesterday that you seem to be in pretty good shape. Do you think you could give me some work out pointers? On weights I mean."

Her blush was amusing yet frightening. I could see where this was headed and I wasn't sure it would be a good idea. I couldn't see me fighting fire with fire as far as Dawn's cheating went. Two wrongs don't make a right and I wasn't going to go there if I could help it. Now though, with Lynn standing right there looking like she did...I could see an issue developing that could change everything.

"I'm not sure that my giving you pointers on weights would be a good idea right now. Maybe after things all get settled out?"

"Yeah. That's probably a good idea. After...everything gets settled."

I could see disappointment on her face, but I also saw something like anticipation too.

'She is far too young for me.' I kept telling myself that, but it was getting harder and harder to hear myself over the din of lust and need that was building up inside me.

"So what brings you by my humble abode other than returning my car?"

"I thought you may want to talk about your plans for this week. I'll be available to help you in whatever you'd need me to do. I can even take some time from work and..."

"Lynn, they need you there right now. When I go in tomorrow and ask for the next two or three weeks off, they'll really need you there. You are the one engineer that knows what the hell's going on around that shop, and you are the only management type that Bill or the other people in the shop will listen to anyway. You'll need to be there."

"But you'll need my help. Dave, I can't let you face this all alone. I care too much for you..."

"That's been worrying me too Lynn. I get a feeling that you may actually feel more for me than I'm capable of accepting...right now at least. First of all, there's our age difference and then there's the fact that you're Dawns friend too. Besides, I may want to try to salvage what I can with Dawn. I don't want you hurt in the process."

"You can't hurt me Dave. How could you tell anyway?"

"I wasn't sure at first, but last night...after thinking about it...I knew."

"Then you should know that I do love you. Yes, in that way. If you'd ask me, I'd go anywhere and do anything you wanted. Anything. Its how I feel and I can't help it. I love you too much to let you be hurt like this. It kills me to know how Dawn has treated your love for her."

"Lynn, you're a beautiful and very appealing young woman. I have often wished that I were twenty years younger and single...honestly. I just can't help but think that the situation right now isn't conducive to 'us'. I don't want to do something with you that I may regret if Dawn and I got back together. I also don't think that 'us' would work out at work. I'm not sure if we'd get along in other things and be able to make it work for us. As much as I want to grab you right now and run...I know logically that would be one of the worst things we could do. I care for you Lynn, and right now with my mind the way it is, I don't think I'd be a good person for you to tie up with. Maybe, if Dawn and I split up and divorced...later on...I'd love to ask you out and date you. Maybe even fall more into love and do the rest of it all too...but not now, not like this."

"More in love with me? Then you do love me? Dawn is the biggest fool on earth! She has a great man like you and she's taking this terrible chance...she has to know that she could lose you over this. She has to know that she's acted horribly...she has. And you...Dave...are the most upstanding kind of man I've ever known. You know you could have me in an instant yet you are holding true to your marital vows until the bitter end. God I love you so much."

Lynn pressed up against me and locked her lips on mine. Hugging me hard for a moment she then broke away and ran not walked, down the sidewalk and out of sight. I saw tears in her eyes as she broke away from me and my heart twisted in a painful manner. I was torn to run after her, and not. That indecision let her get away.

This had been one hell of a weekend. The most eye opening and eventful one I could ever recall. Monday would bring changes for me. Hard changes. I hoped I was up to those changes.

In my mind I had made some harder decisions. The first was the legal part, that of a separation. I wasn't going to go for a divorce yet. Legally separating would give Dawn and me time we needed to see if we even wanted to be together anymore or not.

I knew that most separations ended in divorce, but I had to know in my mind that I still loved Dawn enough to want to fix things. If not, we needed to get divorced. Both of us had to feel the same way about each other, and I truly didn't know how I felt at the moment. I really didn't know how Dawn would feel about me after my ultimatums were delivered.

The next three days flew by and though I had to take time off, I still took care of some issues. Lynn called me several times a day. Either with work issues or about Dawn and I. In the mean time I had got back into touch with the Private investigator I hired on Friday, checking to see if they had gotten anything yet.

They assured me that if something was going on they'd find out about it, though they really would have liked a longer timeframe to deal with. In the end, the promise that I'd pay whatever they wanted to get what I needed over the next six days helped. I was curious if they had found anything out over the weekend.

The lawyers were a tougher issue. I searched around and finally called up a family law lawyer firm that was located out of town. They had been recommended to me by several people, and after ensuring that they had no connections with Dawns firm or co-workers, I went with them. They drew up the necessary papers for a separation agreement and just in case, I had them on retainer working on divorce papers as well.

At home I packed a bunch of Dawns things together and began stacking them in the garage. She'd be the one out. Not me. I'd worked too long and too hard to purchase this house and make it a home, and I'd be damned if I'd give it up in a divorce. Besides, I felt that if Dawn realized all she could lose, she may think harder about what she could potentially lose if we ended up divorced.

Wednesday turned up cloudy and almost chilly. Dawn had called me on Tuesday night saying that she'd be staying for the full week this week. I knew that the detectives were to call me and set up what they had to be sent to me and to my lawyers today sometime, so her late night call last night had only fed the flames in my heart.

I drove over to the next city and picked up the paperwork on our separation from my lawyers, later I stopped by work on my way home for a minute. There I found the shop running smoothly and professionally as always. Lynn was at my desk and involved in some drawings when I peeked around the corner.

"WOW...leave for a few days and look who's taking over my desk."

"Dave! I'm so glad to see you. Can we talk later? It's about...Dawn."

"Yeah. My place...whenever. I'll be home with no plans on going out or anything."

"I'll see you after work then."

She had stood up when I came into the office and as I turned to leave she jumped up into my arms and kissed me. A little hug and then she sat back down.

"Whoa...what was that for?"

"Just wanted you to know I still feel the same way. About you. About...us."

Luckily nobody saw us kissing or hugging, but it was a close thing. Bill walked into the office only seconds after Lynn sat down.

"Hey, I thought you were on vacation Dave. What's up?"

"Just stopped by to check you out you old reprobate."

"Old?! You're the old reprobate. I'm the young man of the shop. Especially with Lynn here. Man, you could stay away as far as I'm concerned. She's far easier on the eyes than you have ever been. Smells better too."

Lynn winked at me and smiled. Bill was laughing a bit as he shook my hand. I left knowing that the shop was in good hands. My drive home had me wondering what Lynn wanted to tell me. Evidently Dawn had called her. I was curious as to what that was about.

At home the phone was ringing. It was the detective agency.

"Mr. Jameson?"

"Yeah, this is Dave."

"We have what you need. I've emailed you the report and some jpeg's, but the real report and DVD's of what we got is coming via the U S Postal service, express. You should have it tomorrow according to the shipping papers. Uh...you may want to make sure you're all right in the head...before you look at what we sent you. Do you have someone that can be close by for you should you need them?"

"That bad huh?"

"Yeah. We're used to this stuff, but our clients never are. For them is the first and worst. For us it's just another day in the city."

"I have someone that will be here. I'm sure I'll handle it...okay."

"Well, thank you for your business, sorry it turned out as it did."

I sat down thinking that I should open my email up...then decided it could wait until later. I just couldn't bring myself to look at Dawn at the moment, especially if she was doing something that we both knew she shouldn't be doing.

A little later I heard Lynn walk in. We had long ago gotten away from her knocking at our door so that's how I knew it was Lynn. Had it been Dawn there'd have been yelling that she was home and how much she'd missed me...as if.

"Dave? You here?"

"In the kitchen Lynn."

"Hi. How you holding up?"

"Got the report from the detectives a bit ago. Haven't looked at it yet. They said 'thanks for your business, sorry it turned out this way' so I expect it's not going to be a good thing."

"We knew that already though Dave. So...shall we go look at it then?"

"I guess. I really don't want to see her...doing...it. I guess it will come eventually though so we might as well get on with it."

I was resigned to my fate now. Lynn seemed upbeat in spite of it all and I had to wonder about that. Once online and in my email account my worst fears surfaced. Seeing Dawn in the arms of another man, naked...killed me. At first I raged...then I actually cried...then I just felt numb. The rage soon returned though and suddenly I wished I'd pushed for the divorce instead of the separation.