Will You Love Me 'Til I Die? Ch. 03

We built each other up slowly until her pussy was hot and wet with my saliva and her juices. I stuck my tongue in her vagina and sucked her while she squeezed my balls as I leisurely fucked her mouth. I inserted a finger into her ass and increased the speed of my cock's thrusting into her warm wet mouth. In another minute I stopped moving and held the head of my cock inside her lips and began to cum. Her legs started trembling and I felt her vagina squeeze my tongue as she joined me in orgasm and filled my mouth with her sweet juice.

"Every time we make love it just gets better. Whatever you do to me causes my body to reach increasingly more intense orgasms. I've become as addicted to cumming as I used to be to making money. You've turned me into an unrepentant nymphomaniac and I love it. We need to get you a prescription for Viagra because you must keep feeding my habit. I'm already feeling like I want to cum again and I've barely stopped. Oh Carl it's wonderful. We're wonderful. I didn't know I could feel like this."

"I'm glad to hear that Anne because this is how I want you to feel for the entire time we have left to be together. If I need pharmaceutical assistance to keep up or even if we have to get more men to help, I intend to keep you as close to a constant orgasmic state as I can. We are wonderful and I love you more with each passing moment. Do you think we could maybe take a break to have some dinner?"

She spoke to Anthony on the intercom and asked him if he had anything he could put together for dinner. He told her he had been working on several dishes to keep in the freezer and he could serve any of them within 30 minutes. She looked at me as he listed the choices. When I heard eggplant rollatini I gave her a thumbs up. He said he knew we were into drinking Champagne but there was a superb Sangovese super Tuscan wine in the cellar which needed to be consumed soon. She told him we would make an exception for it if he recommended it so highly.

Dinner was fabulous. I completely understood why she had hired Anthony. He was worth twice what she was paying him. We had another of his signature Caesar salads and he was right about the wine. I was surprised that anything that tasted that good wasn't illegal. He also had time to whip up a Tiramisu, something I never really developed a taste for until I tried his. It was perfectly accompanied by an excellent Cappuccino. I felt like Marie Antoinette as I wondered what the peasants were eating tonight.

When we finished I suggested we take a little stroll before returning to the bedroom. We walked over to the park and walked along beside it. It was a beautiful night and we walked along like lovers holding hands and being in love. Whenever we got to a corner where we had to stop we would kiss while we waited.

When we returned we headed up to take another bath in the pool then headed to the bed to make love some more and finally drifted off to sleep.

Tuesday was spent similarly with another visit to the doctor to continue the egg harvesting process. Afterwards I asked Anne if she had ever been to the planetarium and she said no so I took her there. While we were out every day for the appointments with Dr. Martin I wanted to visit some places you should see in New York but neither of us had done so. I wanted to go to museums, galleries, matinee performances at theaters and even the large market that all the restaurants get their food from.

We dined out so Anne could wear something very expensive while I tagged along in my tux to show her off. By now she was positively glowing from all the sex and was giving off enough pheromones to entice half the men who saw her to want to follow us home and fuck her. Fortunately none of them could keep up with Melissa's driving. Another round of unbridled sexual debauchery finished off the night.

Wednesday passed similarly with a visit to an art gallery after the doctor. We needed to get home by six so we could be ready for our guest. Julia Conway was coming for dinner to discuss her potential employment as a hospice caregiver.

Anthony had been told to expect her at six-thirty and was waiting in the foyer for her. When she arrived he showed her into the living room and invited her to sit wherever she felt most comfortable. He asked her if she would care for something to drink and she told him she would like some sparkling water with lemon. He left to attend to it and let us know that she was waiting for us. When we got there she was sitting comfortably in the middle of one of the large sofas.

Julia was tall and attractive but wore very little makeup and had long dark brown hair with a few gray ones here and there. She wore a sari but she was not Indian. She had lived for two years in India and gotten used to wearing them. She had a fit body with full breasts and pouty lips that most women would need cosmetic enhancement to possess. She had an exotic, sultry look that promised a smoldering sexuality.

Her most intriguing feature was her eyes. They were eyes that appeared to have seen much more than the average person and when you looked deeply into them you got a feeling that if you looked too long you would start falling and never stop. She gave the impression of being someone you either felt very comfortable with or you had no use for. I felt an immediate but indefinable affinity for her.

Anne introduced us but Julia did not stand nor did she make any attempt to shake hands. She impressed me as being extremely calm and self assured and was not bound by pleasantries for the sake of appearance or social custom. We took our seats across from her on the other sofa.

"So Julia you come highly recommended for your expertise in dealing with people who are nearing the end of their lives. Would you tell us a little about yourself and how you came to specialize in this type of work? Carl would like to know what to expect as I progress though the final stages of my disease."

She spoke in a measured deliberate cadence. "I have been involved with hospice work for the last twenty years. I have an unusual background that prepared me for it and I find it personally rewarding as well as filling a need that everyone must have sooner or later with the exception of those who die suddenly. I have learned something very important by doing this. Death is not an ending; it is a transformation. It is not something to be feared but something to be encountered and embraced with full consciousness. If you greet death this way it will be the crescendo of your life. Now tell me about you two."

"I have known Carl for about three years as a business associate. He worked for me in one of the companies my firm owned. When the company was finally sold he left and found a position somewhere else. I had no reason to ever see him again until I was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor and told I had six months to live. I panicked when I heard this and completely lost myself in fear and anxiety until I finally realized that I had wasted my entire life in the pursuit of money and had nothing of real value to show for it.

I called Carl and asked him to come see me and explained my situation to him and begged him to show me how to love before I died. Despite telling me how crazy such a request was he agreed to at least make the attempt. No one is more surprised than I am that he has actually succeeded in doing it in just three days. I truly love him and I want him to have as much knowledge about what to expect as my condition progresses as he possibly can. I was told you could help us."

"The type of cancer you have is located in the base of your brain and that's why it can't be operated on. To get to it would kill you. It will grow slowly at first until it can reach a blood supply then it will grow more quickly. In the final two months you will be tired and want to sleep a lot. You will have headaches and you may have sensory effects such as hearing problems or you could go blind."

"In the last two weeks you will sleep most of the time and will lose your appetite. This will be followed by loss of bladder and bowel control. In the final four days you will stop eating and will only drink water. Sometime on the final day you will have a brief period where you are lucid for a few minutes then you will fall into a coma and your heart will stop beating. Sometimes just after a person dies this way their skin will look rosy and healthy and they will have a serene look on their face."

"Thank you Julia. It doesn't sound very pleasant but we needed to know this."

"Carl would you please come over here and kneel down in front of me?"

Despite the unusual nature of her request, I got up and walked over to her and knelt down at her feet.

"Close your eyes and breathe deeply."

I felt the tip of her thumb touch my forehead between my eyes. She left it there for a minute and said nothing. Then she took her hand away.

"Carl, put your head on my lap."

I lowered my head and laid it on her thighs on my right side. She started petting my head like I was a cat. "Now sit back and look into my eyes and tell me what you see."

When my eyes met hers everything in me came to a screeching halt. I stopped thinking and got that feeling of falling that I had been partially aware of when I first saw her. "I see an unfathomable depth that is frightening yet somehow reassuring. I don't know why but I recognize you. I feel as though we have met before."

"Carl you are a soul maker. You have made a very selfless sacrifice for someone and it has already begun to take you to a new level of your being. This is why we have found each other. Those doing soul work, who want the searing truth more than solace or applause, know each other right away. Those who want something else turn and take a seat in another room. Soul makers find each other's company."

Tears started to slide down my cheeks, as the feeling of recognition grew stronger in me and I was able to start thinking again.

"That's good Carl. That is how lovers should greet each other. I will help you in your mission. I can help you both explore deeper ways to express your love for each other. Ways you have not yet imagined, heights you do not know exist. Together we can do more than just prepare Anne for her passing, we can participate in it and experience it with her. We will help her to take death's hand and go dancing into the light. Anne, come over here and hug me."

Anne practically ran across the room and laid in her lap and put her arms around Julia then started crying. Julia held her and told her that very soon she would no longer be afraid of dying. She said she would help us experience a love that would transcend death.

I'm not sure what Anthony thought when he walked in to the room to announce dinner but it didn't seem to cause him any consternation that there was this unusual woman sitting on the sofa with Anne in her lap and me at her feet. Anne got up and reached out her hand and took Julia's and helped her up from the sofa. We started walking toward the door to the dining room.

Anne was holding Julia's hand and told Anthony that Julia was her new friend and he would be seeing much more of her in the future. Anne insisted that Julia sit at the end of the table and we sat on either side of her. Anthony began to serve an incredibly delicious vegetarian dinner which began with a green salad with slices of pear and thinly sliced toasted almonds and what at first appeared to be goat cheese but I later found out was tofu.

Julia looked at Anne and said, "It was very appropriate for you to tell Anthony that I am your new friend. My legal name is Julia but I would like you to call me Mitra. It is a Sanskrit word that means friend. At least that is the word most English translations use. It is much more intimate than friend because a derivative of Mitra is maitri which means loving-kindness. Someone who is your mitra is much more than a friend; they are your lover and your teacher and your spiritual guide. This is what I can be to you if you wish it."

"I've already wished it Mitra. I feel about you the same way Carl expressed it in the living room. I recognize something in you, something I can't define but I know I can trust you and I can learn from you. When can you start?"

"That feeling of recognition comes from your heart and it means that your heart is functioning and that you are listening to it. That is a very good sign Anne. I have obligations through the end of this month but I can start on July 1."

"How much do you charge and will you come here every day?"

"I make $125,000 per year so for six months I would charge half that. I could do it for less if you wanted me to stay here and you included meals."

"I'm not sure I will need you for the full six months but I will pay you your full year's salary and you can live here for the length of your contract. There is plenty of room in this house and I want you near me for the rest of my life. Can you travel?"

"Yes I can travel anywhere you want me to go. I have a valid passport."

"Mitra you said you had an unusual background that prepared you for hospice work. Would you tell us what that background is?"

"I am 42 years old and when I was 20 I went on a quest to try and find some meaning in my life because up until then I was drifting. I tried hard to find happiness in work and relationships but there was always something lacking. One day I read a book I picked up in a used bookstore. It was about a man who felt like I did and had found a spiritual teacher who showed him what he was missing and why.

What the man said in the book gave me a feeling that he had indeed found what I was looking for. I decided I would spend some time trying to find my own teacher. I went to many places and finally ended up in India. I visited temples, mosques, monasteries and gurdwaras and listened to people give talks and sermons to see if anything would be right for me but nothing clicked."

"About the time I was thinking I should be leaving I noticed a necklace around the neck of the man who came every day to clean my room. There was a picture of a man hanging from the necklace. I asked him if the picture was of his father. He told me no, it was a picture of his Guru. I told him I had been to see a lot of so called Gurus and none of them impressed me. He said that Gurus are like cars, no one model is right for everybody. Then he invited me to come with him to a celebration that evening at the Guru's ashram."

"I figured what the hell, I might as well try one more time. It was a modest but unusually clean building with a large room on the ground floor with about forty people sitting on cushions on the floor in front of a platform. There were musicians playing Indian music.

A few minutes after we arrived, a man walked out and sat in a chair on the platform. There was a woman who kneeled on the platform next to him and he would say something to her and she would go into the audience and tell somebody to come up and sit in front of the man. He would say something to the person and they would respond and then they would return to where they had been sitting and someone else would be asked to come up. After about ten people had been called I was very surprised when the woman came to me and said in perfect English 'the master would like to talk to you now.'"

"I had no idea what to expect but I went up and knelt in front of him and sat back on my haunches the way the others had done. I wasn't looking at his face until he said, 'So you have come at last. What has taken you so long?' The way he said this was so sincere, as if he had actually sent me an invitation that I had carelessly tossed aside and forgotten about. When I looked up and our eyes met I got the same feeling as Carl did when he looked into my eyes earlier. I recognized him. Of course I had never seen him before but I knew him somehow. I stammered out that I had been trying but I wasn't sure what to do. 'That is because you have been listening to your mind and not to your heart. Are you ready to begin now?'"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Good. This is a very meaningful time for us. The beginning is always the best part. Come back tomorrow at ten and we will get started."

"I spent the next month doing meditations alone and with others and sitting with him at night for what is called darshan. One night I was called up to speak with him and he told me I had made good progress and that it was time to decide whether I just wanted to hang around for the meditations or did I want to start preparing myself to become his disciple. I asked him what it meant to become his disciple and he said it was the most special relationship two people could have on this earth and unfortunately was becoming extremely rare. He said it was not easy and required my total dedication and ultimately my total surrender to him and there was only one reason to become his disciple and I would have to discover what that reason was.

I told him I had not come all this way to do something half-hearted and that I would devote myself to doing whatever it took to become his disciple. He asked me if I had ever been to the places along the river where families take their loved ones to be cremated when they die. I told him I had not. He told me my new meditation was to go there and sit silently and watch the bodies burn. He told me to do this for at least four hours every day until I discovered something of great significance."

"I was scared and confused but I went to the river the next day and sat near one of the Ghats. I had never seen a dead body this close before and I had never even thought about watching one burn but I sat there and witnessed it time and time again. After a few weeks I had become a regular fixture there and I began to feel what it must be like to be the one burning. Something inside me was being consumed each time I watched this ceremony.

I had been told to never speak to anybody there and sometimes people would throw coins at my feet as if I had blessed their departed loved ones. Finally after six months of doing this I watched a young girl being cremated and I had a sort of epiphany. I knew what it was I needed to discover. That night at darshan I was called up to speak with the master and he asked me how I was doing."

"I have discovered something."

"And what have you discovered?"

"That I am not my body."

"That is good. Do you know the reason you should become my disciple yet?"

"I thought very hard about that and then remembered what he had said the first time I came to see him. He said I had listened to my mind and not to my heart. I closed my eyes and with his help I moved into a deep silence that seemed to pervade the entire room. In a moment it came to me and without opening my eyes I said, the reason I should become your disciple is because I love you."

"'Yes you have to love me because I am going to kill you. Not physically but I will destroy your ego. I will kill your persona, your ideals and all that is false and meaningless in you. Do not despair because the wound I will make will be the place where the light will enter you.' He touched my forehead and I experienced a rush of energy flow into me and swirl throughout my body. I felt better than I had ever felt in my life. He took his hand away from my head and his assistant handed him a necklace with his picture on it, which he placed around my neck. "From now on your name will be Mitra. Tomorrow you will start a new meditation. Come see me in the morning and I will let you know what to do."

"When I opened my eyes I had become Dwija which means twice born. Just like you Anne, Julia was dying so that Mitra could be born. For the next six months I was to be a volunteer in a hospice. I had watched people being burned soon after dying but now I was to be with them when they died. He told me to show them as much love as I could, to hold their hand and be close to them at the moment of their death and just watch until I could see that death was not an ending. The day I realized this completely changed my life. I knew what I wanted to do then and I've been doing it ever since."