Working My Passage

I noticed that my mother and Amanda seemed to see a lot more of each other after Amanda returned from her time abroad.

Incidentally, mother’s “Special friend” still visited her regularly. I had known for several years what that meant and silently wished mother a happy time with him.

My one and only intimate contact, or should I call it a collision, was on the night of my last school dance. As we were all leaving school chaperoning was of no use. A girl and I fumbled with each other in the back of my car, and we had a miserable time, and I got nowhere near the goal. As I made my wild endeavour she mumbled, “I might get pregnant.” That ended that.

For my eighteenth birthday there was a special celebration with friends and relatives coming for all over the place. I must admit that, having seen and been involved on the edge of many parties, I find them rather tedious. However, I tried to make sure that my guests had a good time up to the point of what I thought of as “Police threshold.” That is, no one called the cops because of riots in the street.

Father was at home for once, but still rather disgruntled at my choice of university course.

Amanda came and at one stage I found myself alone with her and mother. Amanda gave me her gift, a magnificent gold Cartier wrist watch.” I got this for you while I was overseas she said. I’ve got another gift for you, but you’ll have to come to my house to get it tomorrow.”

It was all very mysterious, and I saw mother and Amanda exchange covert smiling glances at each other.

I saw little of Amanda for the rest of the party, and I continued to speculate what her additional gift might be. I tried pressing my mother who admitted she knew what it was, but refused to tell. I decided it must be something fairly spectacular.

As she was leaving Amanda kissed me and said, “About ten tomorrow, then?”

“Fine,” I said, trying to hide the erection even her mild goodnight kiss had initiated.

I was promptly at her house at ten next morning. She greeted me with another mild kiss but said nothing about her gift. Instead, she invited me to a game of tennis. It was a hot day and we played for about half an hour, and then Amanda suggested a swim.

We dived into the pool, splashing and swimming around for a while as we cooled off. Then Amanda started our old games of wrestling around, her body clinging to mine as she laughed and splashed.

I was continuing to wonder about the gift, and still nothing had been said. Then Amanda, seemingly as part of our game, wrapped her legs round me. There was something odd, unusual about how she felt.

She was looking deep into my eyes as we clung together and she whispered, “I love you very dearly Adrian.”

Her closeness had given me a raging erection and a struggled to find words of response to what was really her declaration of love. Finally I came our rather lamely with, “And I love you Amanda.”

She pressed her lips to mine in a kiss that was soft and long. Her warm moist mouth held to mine, her tongue flicking over my lips. Then she said, “Darling, here is my other gift for you.” She broke away from me and I felt her pull down my swimming briefs.

She was partially buoyed up by the water, and as I was now considerably taller than her and quite strong, I felt no strain as she slowly slipped down my body and I felt the tip of my penis nuzzle up against something soft and warm. The next moment it was engulfed in moist warmness, and then I knew. Amanda had removed her bikini bottoms and my penis was entering her. I gave out with a gasping sort of groan as I felt the delicious sensation of paradise that was the vagina of one I loved.

I felt a sense almost of disbelief, but Amanda was softly kissing me and saying, “Enjoy me, my love.”

Using the buoyancy of the water she began to move up and down on me and I was moaning with ecstasy. My first time with a woman and that woman my dearly beloved Amanda.

I felt the first tingle of an approaching ejaculation and Amanda must have sensed this. She began to move more rapidly, and as the first ejection of my semen thudded into her she slowed down to keep pace with each expulsion.

I was almost weeping with joy and crying out, “I love you Amanda, I love you.”

I heard her murmuring close to my ear, “And I love you, my darling.”

With the last thrust of my sperm into her she pressed down hard so that I was deep inside her. She clung to me like that for a while after I finished. I held on to her still telling her I loved her. Then kissing my face she murmured, “Was that good, my darling?”

“It was…was…it…” For a moment words failed me. I wanted to find some superlative to match the depth of my feelings, but nothing that I thought of would do. In the end I stammered, “It was love…an act of love.”

She smiled, looking deep into my eyes; “Indeed it was, my darling.”

We got out of the pool and went into the house to dry ourselves. Amanda removed her bikini top, so now we were both completely naked. The sight of her breasts, a sight I had fantasised about so many times as I masturbated, was lovelier than even my imagination had conjured. They were large but firm, with delicious pink nipples and light brown aureoles.

I reached out and touched them and Amanda said, “I think we should love properly now, don’t you?”

She did not wait for me to reply but took my hand and led me to a bedroom. It contained as the main item of furniture a huge bed. She drew me onto it and bent over to kiss me, this time pushing my lips apart with her tongue, then thrusting into my mouth with it. She seemed to want to explore its deepest recesses.

I was about to touch her breasts when a jarring thought struck me. It was completely out of tune with what we were doing. I freed myself from her probing tongue and said, “Mother, she’ll be expecting me home for lunch.”

Amanda laughed. “No she won’t my love. She’s knows quite well what we are doing. We arranged it between us long ago.”

“But how…why…?”

“Darling, I knew a long time ago I loved you…loved you as a woman loves a man. I made no secret of it with your mother. She understands such things. Remember her special friend? I told you a long time ago that I also have a special friend, you. I also knew what you wanted with me. I have eyes to see and I can feel. I felt your erections when we played together in the pool. Your mother and I agreed I should do this with you after your eighteenth birthday.”

Another thought occurred. “Amanda, is this only for today?”

She laughed again. “Of course not my love. If you want it to go on into the future, then it will, for as long as you still want me.”

I felt a wave of relief sweep through me. I don’t think I was the type then, and I am not now, who seeks the one night stand, the odd coupling. I wanted and want, the ever flowing fountain; a place to which I could always return to assuage my thirst, and my thirst was for Amanda.

She stopped further discussion as she placed her hand under one breast and extending the nipple said, let me suckle you, darling. I bent to take her nipple into my mouth, and sucking a licking it I inhaled that odour I had always thought of as the “Amanda smell,” enticing and arousing.

She drew my hand to her other breast and closed my fingers gently over it. Taking the hint I caressed it, giving little squeezes to its nipple. Amanda sighed a sound of deep contentment.

“I’ve waited so long, my love,” she whispered.

Her hand drew mine to her vagina and I felt the soft moistness of it. Her thighs felt very wet, and although in school sex instruction we had heard about female lubrication to feel it in reality was exquisite.

She had opened her legs, drawing them up as she did this. “Come into me, darling,” she said.

A little awkwardly I settled between her legs and tried to feel for her entrance with the crown of my penis. I felt her hand take hold of my organ and guide me to her, and then I was slipping into her depths.

I felt as if I had entered a heavenly realm. I wanted to say over and over again, “I love you, love you,” but instead I listened to her soft little whimpers as I moved up and down in her.”

Suddenly I felt her begin to quiver and she held on to me tightly, her legs wrapped round me, and began crying out, “Don’t leave me, don’t stop, please don’t stop…” I felt her nails dig into my back and she began screaming, “Deeper, deeper,” and I put my hands under her buttocks and thrust in hard. She gave one final shriek, and then seemed to subside, weeping and moaning, “Don’t leave me, don’t leave me.”

I felt the first jerk of sperm up my shaft, and then I was pumping into her again, desperately fighting to get to the very centre of her being to plant my seed in her. Inhibitions abandoned I groaned and yelled my passion for her.

When we had finished we lay sated for a while. I had been overwhelmed by my first entry into the heaven that is woman. All the smutty sexual jokes of school boy days had been washed away. Nothing in our adolescent imaginations had come anywhere near the reality.

Had I succeeded in penetrating the girl in the back of my car, I might well have found the experience a poor one. Now, as I lay with Amanda, I knew I adored her. She was the “Earth mother,” my Venus, goddess of love and fertility. In that moment I could not imagine my life without her. It was only some time later that the responsibility for our deed made itself evident.

Now in our post coital peace Amanda was speaking quietly.

“Was that late birthday present worth waiting for, my love?”

I laughed and said I hoped I would be able to have a late birthday present every day.

She looked at me solemnly for a moment and said, “Perhaps not every day, darling, but as often as possible.”

I understood what she was implying. In the elation of our love making thoughts about her husband had not been present. He was not always away at conferences. A stab of jealous pain shot through me.

“Do…do you and…your…Arthur…do you…?”

“No darling,” she said, smiling warmly. “We don’t, so there is no need for jealousy. You have no rivals to worry about. What I have to give I give to you.”

“But,” I began. I wanted to ask her why she and her husband didn’t make love but she interrupted me.

“One day, Adrian, when the time is right, I may explain to you, but not now.”

I had to rest content with that.

Another thought struck me but I did not voice it. My mother might know about and may even have encouraged this sexual relationship with Amanda, but my father was a different proposition. I could well imagine that he would raise hell if he found out. Then again I thought of my mother’s lover. He had never found out about him.

I could see that care would be needed if my newly established relationship with Amanda was to continue.

Amanda broke into my thoughts.

“Darling, you’re looking dismal. Let’s not worry about what tomorrow might bring. Look, we’re all hot and sticky, let’s have another swim and then come back here. I’ve got something I’d like to show you.”

I dropped my dark thoughts and we ran hand in hand down the stair and out to the pool. I think I shall always remember that pool, the place of my first coupling with a woman.

We swam until we had cooled down then raced back to the bedroom. Amanda leapt onto the bed and without preamble opened her legs wide and said, “I don’t expect you’ve ever seen female genitals, have you?”

“No,” I replied, “Only in pictures.”

“Come and look at me, darling,” she said enticingly, “I want you to know what I look like.”

She gave a rueful smile and went on, “Some men can’t stand the sight of a woman’s vagina, and I don’t think that’s fair. After all, we women have to look at men’s sex organs. So come and see if I horrify you.”

I knelt before her and gazed at her genitals. At first there seemed little to see except some dark hair and a mound below which ran a slit that disappeared under her groin with what looked like swelling lips on either side.

Then with her fingers Amanda parted the two lips and revealed two more, but instead of being a light brown like the outer lips, these were pink. I thought they looked beautiful, like pink rose petals. Amanda was about to part the inner lips, but hesitated and said, “You open them, darling.”

I placed my thumbs on the lips and gently opened them, and beyond was an opening.

“That’s where you enter me, Adrian, but look.”

She lifted and little flap of skin at the top of her vagina and said, “My clitoris, darling, that’s where a woman feels an enormous amount of pleasure when it is touched properly.”

I had seen this too in pictures, but found myself fascinated by the little nub beneath the flap.

I had long been aware of the birth process, and as I looked now at her sexual organs I felt a sense of awe. It was as if I were looking upon something sacred. As if by some instinct I leaned forward and kissed her clitoris.

“Oh my love,” she burst out, “No one has ever done that to me before.”

I kissed her clitoris again, this time tasting it with my tongue and taking in her aroma.

This was the Amanda smell I had long ago experienced. The taste and the smell of her womanhood sent me into something like frenzy. I sucked on her clitoris then entered her vaginal opening with my tongue. I felt as if I wanted to consume her I was so beside myself with love for her.

I felt her hands press against the back of my head, indicating I must stay with her. She gave little flicking movements against my mouth and she became extremely wet.

Suddenly she began to shake and moan. I held on to her as her whole body started to vibrate and she began screaming and crying out. Her movement and cries reached a climax, and then began to subside, her movements and loud cries ebbing away to a soft whimper.

My face was soaked with her fluid but she moved so as to kiss me and began licking my mouth and face, tasting her own discharge.

I had an aching erection and she pushed me onto my back and took my penis into her mouth. She was sucking and licking its crown and I knew I could not hold back. I tried to warn her of my coming ejaculation, but she ignored me and kept sucking, taking more and more of me into her mouth.

As I felt the first burst of sperm arriving a tried to pull away from her but she clung on to me, and I was discharging into her mouth. Once I started I made no more effort to withdraw but held her head, forcing her to stay with me until I had shot my complete load of semen into her mouth.

When I had finished and was relaxing she came away from me. Her mouth and chin were sticky with my sperm and she kissed me again, this time forcing me to taste my own discharge.

“You are my love, my darling, my lover,” she whispered. “That was the first time ever for me as well.”

We lay back, replete and happy.

By then it was late afternoon and Amanda said, “Your father is away, so why not go and tell you mother you’ll be staying the night with me. She loves you darling, but you would be doing her favour. You see, John (her lover) is coming tonight. With you out of the house they came make as much noise as they like.

We both laughed and I went to clean up before presenting myself to mother.

When I entered the house and found mother she looked hard at me then asked, “Well?”

“Very well, thank you mother,” I said. And we burst out laughing.

“Amanda loves you very much, Adrian,” she said.

“I know mother,” I replied, “I love her too. I shall be spending the night with her. I understand that it will please you.”

She looked at me seriously and said, “Thank you for keeping my secret all these years, Adrian. One day I might be able to tell you what it has meant to John and me.”

“Another revelation for the future,” I thought, but said, “Thank you for understanding about Amanda and I, mother.”

“Darling,” she chuckled, “I could see very clearly how you two felt about each other. Amanda wasn’t going to make a move and I knew you wouldn’t. Certainly from when you were about sixteen Amanda admitted to me her growing sexual attraction for you, so in the end I told her, ‘Rape him if you have to, but for goodness sake don’t let this wretched frustration you’re both suffering from go on any longer.”

She chuckled again and said, “I take it she didn’t have to rape you.”

I grinned and said, “Not very much, anyway.”

“Off you go then. John will be here soon. And don’t bother to take any pyjamas, you won’t need them.”

We both laughed and I fled back to Amanda for what we afterwards always called our “Honeymoon” night.

In the following weeks and months Amanda and I came together as often as we could. If luck went our way, my father and her husband would be away at the same time. In that case we spent the nights together during their absence. This was just as well because after my university course started I had less chance of being with Amanda during the day.

It was about seven months after Amanda and I began our love making that the moment of truth came. Amanda announced she was pregnant.

Had we been married or if I had had been at the end of my university studies, the situation would not have been so difficult. Then there was the fact of Amanda being married to Arthur, and, horror of horrors, my father.

I saw clearly that at eighteen I had taken on a man’s responsibility for an ongoing sexual relationship. Again, being truthful, if sex was all there was in our relationship, it might have been easy to end it, but sex wasn’t all there was to it. We really loved each other.

We both would have been over the moon about the pregnancy, but so much seemed to mar the possibility of celebration.

In discussing what was to be done, Amanda ruled out abortion. I had not even thought of suggesting it, being, despite the difficulties we faced, romantic about the child as a “gift for our love.”

It was at this time that Amanda finally told me about how things were with Arthur.

“Adrian, it’s not a nice story and I’m not proud of my part in it. I don’t know what you’ll think of me when you’ve heard it, but you might as well know the truth.”

“Like your mother, before I got married to Arthur I was a clerical assistant in the same department as him. It paid just about enough to live on, but nothing more.”

“Arthur was Departmental Head, and I thought he might be a way out of my poor place in the scheme of things. I knew I had looks, and I noticed Arthur taking a particular interest in me. I thought I had him sexually interested and started to play up to him.”

“He got around to asking me to go out with him a few times and I tried to bed him, but that failed. I thought he must be some sort of Puritan, you know, no sex before marriage. I even saw that as an advantage. I’ll be frank, I didn’t really fancy him sexually at all, but he looked like a very luxurious meal ticket.”

She stopped for a moment, looking at me. “See what a conniving bitch you’ve taken on?”

I said nothing, waiting for her to go on.

“You know, Adrian, I had misjudged the whole situation. He didn’t want me sexually before or after marriage. Arthur is gay.”

She paused while I absorbed this news. “Why the hell did he marry you then?” I asked.

“In those days, darling, to be gay was to be virtually outcast if people found out, not like it is now when it’s generally accepted as a sexual alternative. Arthur had kept it hidden, but the higher up the promotional ladder he climbed, the more prominent he became and his life more open to scrutiny. He lived in constant dread of being found out and disgraced.”

“It must have been a shock when you found out, though, and I still don’t see why you married him.”

“It wasn’t really a shock, Adrian, you see, he told me before we got married, even before he asked me to marry him. It was a two-way deal, I gave him, or he hoped I would, an aura of sexual respectability, and he gave me a nice comfortable life.”