You Can't Make This Shit Up!

"Oh my, Liddy. Those are more beautiful than I ever imagined."

"Then take a look at the whole package, Ray."

She spun around and the bikini bottom hardly covered her butt. Her ass cheeks looked so ripe for the handling, I whistled under my breath.

"And here, my old friend, is the best part." She spun around again. "Especially for you...Camel Toe!"

Ouch! I felt my cock push against my shorts. Indeed, it was a perfectly formed camel's toe rising from her crotch. There was a moist line around her labia.

"Beautiful. Just beautiful."

"Yes, I agree...beautiful" Her hand traced the outline of my cock. She took my bottle and led me in. "Come and meet our friends. You will love them."

Out in the lanai, people in various stages of undress were chatting, drinking and toking. I absorbed the scene and stopped to stare at a woman with her private parts covered in body paint. Over at the bar was a tall man pouring a drink. My eyes focused upon his ten-inch-soft cock sporting three thick metal cock rings. This guy looked like he was sporting a tall can of beer or maybe a small keg between his legs.

I was pulled aside, handed a drink and a fat joint, the smoking kind. "Ah, my oldest friend is here. Everybody, may I have your attention? Would you all please come into the living room?" Don was showing off his lean physique with a carefully defined gold g-string pouch.

Liddy went around the Living Room and introduced me to the assembly. I was quite taken by one petite woman built in perfect proportions. Small and perfect. She reminded me of a pedigree toy poodle. I considered how much I would love to spin her. But then another woman caught my eye. She was just what I like; about 5'4", small round breasts with small brown ariolas and little nipples popping out, nicely tan, a small bangle hanging from her navel, slim hips and long legs. She wore a small black bikini bottom that hid the tops of the tattoos on her thighs. In flowery calligraphy, the word "Pain" was tattooed down and around one thigh. Curving down her other thigh was the word "Pleasure". Separating the two was a significant crotch gap highlighted by the fine line of a camel toe. My kind of girl. I noted that I had to make her acquaintance.

"Okay, let me have your attention, please. This is me and Liddy's oldest friend, Ray. We know him since elementary school. Ray lived just a few houses away from me growing up. He was like my big brother in those days. Ray has recently moved down here from New York and I have to admit, I have not acted in a very welcoming manner. For that I apologize. In fact, I have been downright rude. Crude. Okay, I acted like an asshole. I think that maybe this lifestyle has gone to my head and I've become pretty impressed with myself. And for what? For my financial success? Actually, it's just good old dumb luck, that's all. Not unlike many of you. You know, I haven't nearly accomplished the many amazing things my friend Ray has accomplished. I just have more money now than he does. Why? Only because he was fucked over and I wasn't. Big Fucking Deal. Ray has lived a more adventurous life while I've turned into a bore and a braggart, two things Ray has never been and believe me when I tell you, he could brag and make us all look like pikers. But that's not him. That's me. Or maybe...that was me. I intend to change my ways... I've already started...In front of all of you, friends who know me better than I know myself, in front of all of you, I apologize to my dear friend, Ray, and tonight, Liddy and I want to show our appreciation." He paused in thought and then smiled.

"So a few weeks ago, Ray gave us a comeuppance which was a long time coming. We earned it. We want to make amends. We want to make things right. We wanted you, our friends, to witness this mea culpa and perhaps take this lesson to heart. Most of us here could use a little humility, it makes for better character, wouldn't you say?"

'Why don't you get on your knees and suck his cock?" A chubby man wearing a black g-string offered this suggestion. I could tell he was just a fat little wise-guy with a fat little cock.

"See, Mel, that's what I'm talking about. Sucking Ray's cock is something I've secretly always wanted to do but I don't think that's the answer. And you don't either, you're just being a smart ass. Perhaps you should listen a little closer to what I'm saying. I'm talking about soul-bearing honesty here."

"Listen, Don," I jumped in as I didn't want to hear any negativity. "I appreciate your apology but this is all unnecessary...and embarrassing. I'm glad you realize my feelings but we have been friends for a very long time and that won't end. Plus, your friends here want this party to continue and I heartily agree. So don't bring us down. Why not continue the party. Here, take this joint. Where can I put my clothes?"

Liddy spoke up. "I'll take you, Ray, just wait a second, please, there is something I want to say. My husband is right. We both deserved a comeuppance. For years, although we've always been proper friends, we've fantasized about how much fun you would be in our bed but, you know, that was our boudoir secret. It seems that we have a lot of secrets and too many masks. Our arrogance is proof of that. Why we became what we became I do not know but we missed so many opportunities to be closer to you and to let you know how much we cherished your friendship. You have no idea how much we want to express this."

As she said this, Don passed me a bong and muttered "Peace Pipe". I took a couple of deep tokes and immediately smelled and tasted some real good stuff. I nodded and smiled at him as I choked on the toke.

She continued. "I want all of you...our secrets here are intact...to welcome our friend, Ray. Make him glad he moved down here. He's a good guy - you'll like him. Now please, get something champagne, we want to make a toast."

While corks were popping and people were mingling, Mel, the wise guy, came over. "Look Ray, I should learn to shut up. Welcome to Florida." We shook hands.

Lydia and Donald approached with a glasses of the bubbly and stood on either side of me. "Friends, please raise your glasses. Here's a toast to our friend, Ray - A good man, an honest man, a soulful man. Ray reminded us that we need to get real again. Liddy and I talked about this a lot for the last few weeks. We realized just how much we love this man and are blessed by his friendship. So let's drop the artifice, the masks and all the self-importance. We love you, Ray. Please stay our friend."

"It's a deal."

Glasses clinked. I was taken by all the smiles and warm vibe in the room. Ms. Pain-and-Pleasure smiled at me. Immediately, I wanted to eat her. I wanted to walk that thin line. I gazed around. My friends had invited me into their swing group and all of a sudden, I could not think of one reason why I should not partake in the randy passion offered. Liddy seemed to read my mind and leaned into my ear, her large breast resting on my arm.

"I'm sure you feel like a kid in a candy store but I just want you to know that I'm first. I've wanted to make love to you for many years and tonight's the night."

Don looked at us and also moved closer. I felt his cock pushing against my hip. "And I want you to know that I was wrong. I am your man."

The two of them had me in a sandwich and both were caressing my fly. I looked around and saw that the party was now kicking in. Two couples were in the pool caressing each other in a tight foursome. A very cute redhead kneeled in front of Mr. Three-Cock-Rings and licked his mammoth red Robo-helmeted-head. Mr. and Mrs. Chubby had the petite brunette's lips between their faces. Ms. Pain-and-Pleasure was paired with a lusty redhead. And I had my childhood friends stroking my cock. How bad is life?

"Come with us." Liddy took my hand and led me into their bedroom. A large king-sized bed dominated the room and appeared even larger on account of the mirror above it and behind it. "Now you just sit down here," she said patting a large cushy armchair. I did as I was told.

Liddy began a sensual strip for me. First, she pulled her tank-top over her head. Her breasts were encased in a slight little peek-a-boo bra showcasing her large nipples. She placed them near my face and pinched them so I could see them pop out before dropping the bra to the floor. Oh Lord, how her breasts were sooo beautiful and still so firm and...and... I felt my dick fighting my pants again. Then she dropped the bikini bottom showing me her perfect butt, the black butt-floss hidden in her cheeks. She bent over presenting her butt to me. The little pouch covering her vagina looked so enticing. Standing and turning around, she removed the thong and placing it in her palm, pressed it over my nose. Oh, her scent was redolent. Musk. A hint of cherry... Now, she stood nude in front of me and damn, if she wasn't just as beautiful as when we were kids. Maybe better.

Don began unbuttoning my Tommy Bahama floral shirt. His fingers lightly scraped down my chest and across my nipples. His hands went to my belt and undid it. They were both at my knees now and pulling my khaki shorts down. As usual, I'd gone commando and my cock popped out. Both of them let an-ooh-and-an-ah escape. And then I felt two tongues wrap around it, one focusing on my balls and the other licking the helmet. I closed my eyes and allowed them complete access to my cock, my balls and my ass. I felt a tongue rim me as the other tongue swallowed me whole.

One hand reached down and was rewarded with one of Liddy's large globes. It felt so big and so soft in my palm. Her nipple was hard and pressing into the center of my hand. I lightly pinched it. Then I felt a hand pull me toward the bed. I fell back down onto it. She climbed on top of me and slid her soaking pussy down my pole. While she rode me, Don licked my balls and rimmed my pucker. I looked up to see Liddy's breasts bouncing and grabbed them with both hands, causing her to bounce even more.

"You guys are going to make me cum soon." I felt it rising.

"Don't cum yet. You want a little blue pill? They're great!"

"Sure, why not."

We sat for a few minutes while I calmed down. Looking at Liddy's perfect body just turned me on again and so I slid over and placed her pink vagina with it's large outer lips over my head. My tongue slid into those fat fleshy lips and I enjoyed her flowing juices dribble onto my tongue. Yes, a hint of cherry...and maybe hazelnuts... Don was now sucking on me and he was an expert, flicking, licking and covering me in saliva. I was feeding him my cock and slightly rocking in and out. I felt it rising again. So did he.

"I want you to cum in my mouth, Ray. Cum. Don't hold back."

"Yes, Ray, fill his mouth. And I want a taste, too."

She was rolling her crotch around my lips. Her scent was floral and her taste was feral musk, vintage 1951. She leaned her pucker into my nose and the tip slid in. My hips pushed into Don's lips and I wasn't long before I was going to pop. Liddy could not hold out much longer either. I heard little gasps escape and then I felt her juices cascading down my face. She pushed into me and rolled her hips soaking my skin. This pushed me over the edge and I arched up. Don pulled off and my milky squirt covered his lips and tongue, pooling in the center. When my orgasm subsided and cum dripped down my cock, Liddy leaned forward. They shared a snowball kiss and a giggle.

"Change places," I ordered. And chuckling like the two kids I remembered, they did and now I had Don's thin cock at my lips. My tongue snaked out and gobbled it. I liked the fact that he wasn't large because I could roll his dick around my mouth and suck him deeply without choking. Liddy was washing my wand and it felt wonderful. She had this technique where she sucked my balls and then without losing any suction, traveled up and consumed the head. Because I was not hard yet, she made it seem that I was. And soon, I was.

Don placed his hands at my side and got into a push-up position, pumping his cock into me. He was seriously fucking my face. He was moaning and telling me how good it felt, how I really know how to suck cock and how close he was to cumming. I felt his cock throbbing and the mushroom head expanding. My free hand began to pump his shaft quickly. His first blast hit the back of my throat and my lips clamped around it, milking his silky semen so it rolled in globs down my throat. He didn't slow down or stop instead filling me with the largest volume of cum I think I'd ever experienced. Finally, his cock softened and slowly, with a whole lot of tenderness, slipped it from my mouth.

"God, that was great, Ray. You suck so good."

"Your no slouch in that department either, buddy."

We all lay entwined as we happily recovered.

"That was as good as I've always imaged, Ray. You can eat my pussy any time and I mean that."

"That's good but if you don't mind, I'd like to fill that pussy next...and you'll be happy to know that I shoot blanks."

"That's good to know but I don't have any eggs to fertilize anymore so please, fuck me silly."

Now, I must tell you that this woman had a most beautiful vagina. If she looked twenty years younger, her snatch was forty years younger. Shaved as smooth as the skin of a plum and with large puffy lips, it was gorgeous. I'd already discovered that her gap was so wide, my head could flail between her legs. I'd already learned that her inner lips masked a large, hard clit that I could easily flick. Now, I found out just how tight this woman was. It was obvious that she took her kegel exercises seriously as she literally sucked me up and in, while squeezing me at my base. Lordy, Lordy, this was good.

"Oh I like how you fit. This feels wonderful. Oh, Donny, you're going to love this is your ass, I promise."

She pulled me against her and we began to suck face and roll around. Her legs clamped against my hips as we fucked with abandon. Her kisses were deep and expressive. She whispered little comments like "...you are as good as we always pretended...oh this is so good...your cock...I love your cock." I returned the compliments. My hands were fastened around her breasts and they, too, were quite complimentary. Sucking and pulling on those sweet nipples only made her buck harder.

Don was sitting back watching us. His cock lay soft against his thigh. "Fuck him, baby. Show him how tight that pussy is."

She squeezed her muscles and did few rapid butterfly kegels. I pushed against her and began to shoot into her deepest reaches. "Oh my God, that was awesome!" This was a new experience for me. I said this over and over as I pumped more and more cum into her. Finally, I slipped out and splashed her pubes and stomach. I literally collapsed on the bed muttering just how awesome she was. I was numb. I think I passed out for a few minutes.

The three of us were draped around the bed. We were quietly resting and contemplating what had just transpired when Liddy moaned, "That was as good a fuck as I've ever had. No offense, Donny, but Ray here just rocked my world. I can still feel all you cum inside me."

Don and I laughed. "I'm glad to hear that, dear."

"Yeah, it was about as good as it gets on my end, too. That was memorable. And you, Donny, you can suck me anytime."

"Likewise, my friend."

"So, tell me, how long have you guys been in the lifestyle?"

"About as long as I can remember." Liddy smiled. "We discovered it in college."

"When we were in college," Don continued, "we had an acid orgy with another couple and we both discovered how much fun it was to be uninhibited and sexually free. We sucked and fucked each other in front of each other. It opened us up and made us closer. We've been with small secret circles all our lives. What about you? I never saw you as a cocksucker."

"This is a day of surprises, isn't it? I never knew that you two swung. After all the vacations together..."

"I remember the day the girls went into the village to shop and you and I skinny-dipped, Ray. I remember wishing we would go further."

"And I remember walking into you at the outdoor shower and thinking about your beautiful cock..."

"But you two were always so straight with us...such polite friends. I am truly surprised...and impressed at your ability to hide that side so well. Me? I was always straight growing up. It was all about pussy and I had a lot of it. I learned how to eat pussy from an older woman. I had some bi curiosities but nothing more than that. I looked at cocks in the locker room but nothing more than that. In college, I participated in plenty of drug-fueled orgies but no guys ever came on to me. I didn't turn bi until after my divorce. I know that you are both still close to her but this is all between us. She doesn't need to know this..."

"Yes, we still speak with her but it is all very superficial and gossipy...just like always." Liddy looked straight at me. "I know that your ex is very straight. And very very boring. I once tried to make a pass at her and see if she could loosen up. We were stoned and I got her to skinny-dip with me. I sort-of accidentally intentionally brushed her breast and she got very red-faced and uptight..."

"I tried, too, but she wouldn't go there."

"I understand. She was not a very creative lover. I tried and I tried but she wouldn't budge from the good old missionary position. We fucked a lot...we ate each other all the time... and we always made each other cum but it was rote and boring and tedious to me. Apparently, it was for her, too. I'd say that my life is far better without her. I'm more like the person I was before I married her."

"Good. Now I don't feel so bad about how much she annoys me! Whew! So how did you turn bi?"

I told them the story of being picked at a bar and being turned. (I recounted my first time in the story "My First Bi-Sexual Couple" located in the story archives.) They were both turned on by it and we started to get frisky again. I told them about the little group I was in for about ten years and that turned them on even more. A pearl of moisture hung at the peak of Liddy's labia.

I suddenly remembered that there was a party going on. "Aren't you concerned about your guests?"

"Oh, them! You want to join them and see what they're up to? Sure. Let's do some bong hits first."

We shakily walked into the Living Room. Several people were standing by the bar watching two women and a double dildo. We walked in that direction and stopped for some hors d'oeuvres and drinks.

"I have your cognac, Ray." Don said as he poured several thumbs and passed the glass.

The body-painted redhead turned to us. "Oh, this looks like a bunch of satisfied people. Did you three have a good reunion. Did you save any of this for me?"

She squeezed Liddy's nipple. "You know, there's always room for you, Christy." She pushed her nipple toward Christy's mouth who happily suckled it.

Mel and Steven joined us. "So, did you fuck Donnie's sweet ass yet?"

"Not yet, boys," Don laughed, "but he will."

"Do you mind if we prep him?" Steven sank to his knees and began to lick my ass cheeks.

"Only for you, Buddy" Mel tweaked Don's nipple and followed Steven to his knees. The two of them pushed my legs apart and began a tongue bath.

"You already knew Mel had a big mouth, right?" Don smiled and couldn't avoid the dig.

"Yeah, but this other guy is rimming me and I can hardly pay attention to Mel's blowjob." In fact, Steven was licking, rimming, and generally bathing my sphincter. He was insane about it and it felt great. When he drove his tongue up my chute and stabbed into it with the tip, I thought I would shoot right then and there. This guy could eat ass like no other.

"Yeah, well, Steve is the club's resident ass man. He's something else, right?" Don looked down at Mel. "Hey Mel, you're only supposed to get him hard for me, remember?"