Yours Ch. 05

I frowned at the image, even as my sadistic side wanted me to smile. A more sentimental part of me noticed how she still considered me the one who took her virginity, even though she'd been with Mike.

"Sometimes you look at me like you want to rip me apart..." she continued, "But you hold yourself back, I see it. You take this big, deep breath and calm yourself down. After you fucked me, and I realised you weren't going to... I don't know, cripple me or something, it just made sense to trust you. I'd already given myself to you and turned out ok. If you really like hurting me... and if you really hate me... then even the fact that you haven't done anything to ruin my life is enough for me to trust you."

"That... actually makes sense." I said.

I smiled realising that now I was the one that was confused.

"So you really think you're a... sadist?" she asked suddenly.

She said the word with such disbelief. I felt so horribly exposed.

"Yeah." I said, rolling onto my back to look at the ceiling, "I like hurting you. At first I thought it was just a revenge thing, getting you back for all the shit you put me through over the years..."

"I thought you were just angry with me." she agreed. "I mean... I know I deserve it-"

"But even when I'm not angry I still enjoy it." I explained, cutting her off. "Even when I'm calm, when I can ignore our...our whatever, our past... I still just like hurting you. Or humiliating you... making you cry."

"Why?" she asked.

I didn't have an answer for that.

"I don't know." I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

I suddenly felt her hand on my cheek. I looked at her, and she moved into her favourite position, pressing her body against mine. She caressed me gently, and the look on her face made my heart pound. There was so much understanding in her eyes, like she knew how hard this was to admit. It shocked me.

She moved in to kiss me, and I let her. She was so gentle, moving so slowly. I pulled her tight against me and returned her kiss.

She wasn't rejecting me. I was being accepted by her.

I hadn't realised how much this would mean to me, and I felt tears threatening to spring into my eyes. I could tell myself a hundred times that I was fine with being what I was, even that I could enjoy it, but I'd still been holding my breath about what she would think.

This was probably one of the reasons I'd put this conversation off for so long. Better to let her think I'm just an angry asshole than some sort of monster. I smiled, and kissed her again. I pulled away, and she rested her head back against my shoulder. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest.

"It's all kind of... kinky, isn't it." she said quietly.

I laughed loudly, breaking the serious and quiet atmosphere. I was bearing my soul to this woman, talking about the most exciting and terrifying self discovery of my life, and hers too probably. Something that made us fundamentally different, different from other people and from who we thought we were.

I hoped it all stacked up to being a little more than just kinky.

"I guess you could call it that, yeah." I said, still laughing.

I started to stroke her hair again, and she purred with appreciation. She moved her body upwards, laying more of it against me. I was suddenly aware of the weight of her boobs pushing against my body, and tired cock twitched against her leg in response.

She felt it, and looked down with a smile. She reached down to stroke me with her talented fingers, coaxing me towards full erection.

"Now what do you want to do with this?" she asked. "Where's this big, angry cock going to go, Sir."

Without answering, I gently gripped her hips and led her upwards, while she quickly lined us up. She slid herself down onto my thick erection, gasping with pleasure.

After only a minute or so, she was riding me fast. I pulled her into a fevered kiss, and she pushed her tongue into my mouth. I impulsively bit down on it, making her moan with pain. I pulled away from her and attacked her throat, kissing and licking along it. I slid my teeth around it, biting gently, and she squealed with excitement.

"Do you know why your cock makes me feels so good, Sir?" she whispered, increasing her pace, "Do you know why your big cock makes me cum so hard?"

I didn't answer her, I just spanked her badly bruised ass.

She yelped, then sighed with passion.

"Because you own me." she hissed, "You own my body... my pussy... You make my cunt feel so good because you... you own it... AAH!"

She gasped with pain as I bit down on her shoulder. The things she were saying were driving me insane. My orgasm was approaching surprisingly quickly, and I didn't want to hold it back. This wasn't the gentle lovemaking of earlier, nor the violent domination that followed it. This was just two horny teenagers trying to get off as quickly as possible, revelling in our youth and energy.

"Can I...?"

"Yesss." I sighed, "Cum for me, slut."

She obeyed, and I felt her nails dig painfully into my back as her hot channel gripped me tightly, shaking with her orgasm. I let myself join her, pumping my hips upwards as I came.

We held each other tightly as our pleasure shook us.

She made one final whimper of pleasure as my wilting shaft slid out of her. She hummed with satisfaction as she rested against my body. I lay back and relaxed.

"It was so... scary today." she confessed breathlessly.

"When I... punished you?" I panted.

"Yeah." she said, "All that pain. It just... took over my whole body. The orgasm, if that's even what it was, just seemed to go on and on. I couldn't think, or move. It was just everywhere. I think that's why I was so angry when I woke up so... afraid. It was so powerful. I'd been worried about everything for a while, but that was my limit, I guess."

"Some people call it going into 'sub-space'". I told her quietly, "Like, all the endorphins that come in reaction to the pain and submission... they make you high."

"That's kind of cool." she said, smiling. "It sort of felt like I was floating."

"Really?" I laughed.

She nodded.

"I dreamt about you teaching me to swim." she said in a sleepy voice.

I laughed again.

"That's pretty random." I said.

"It's a good memory." she said.

"Memory?"

"You don't remember?" she asked.

I frowned.

"Remember what?"

"You taught me how to swim." she said, yawning. "When we were kids."

"I... I did?"

"You don't remember?" she asked again. "We were in a hotel with a pool, Rose, and you, and me. Rose made fun of me because you guys had swimming lessons but I couldn't swim, so you taught me."

The memory hit me like a ton of bricks. We couldn't have been more than seven or eight. Our families were on vacation together. The sun was so hot, the smell of chlorine...

"You held me on the surface of the water." she said, "You showed me how to float on my back. You just kept saying, 'The water will hold you. You'll float. Don't be afraid. I've got you...'."

She yawned again and stretched slowly.

"That's what I dreamt about. Except it was you like you are now. Just holding me in the water, your voice telling me 'I've got you. Don't be afraid.'"

The memory was suddenly so vivid. I could see her angry, panicked little face whenever she started to flail in the water. I held her in my arms, thinking she was like a pretty princess that I was carrying, glad that the cool, still water was making her so light. I showed her how the water would support her if she just relaxed.

How had I forgotten this?

I felt her relaxing further and sliding her arms around my neck. She was about to fall asleep.

"It wasn't all bad before this." she said quietly, "Between us, I mean. It wasn't all terrible."

I didn't answer her, still shocked. It was like a piece of our history had just been blanked from my mind until right then.

She was soon asleep in my arms, and I was about to follow her.

I smiled, reliving the memory again.

"I guess it wasn't." I said to myself.

==

A knock at the door woke me up. Probably Jessica coming over for another midnight session, I thought.

Except when I opened my eyes, I wasn't in my room. I was still in Jessica's. In her bed. And someone was at the door.

I sat bolt upright, turning to look at Jessica lying naked behind me. She slowly opened her eyes, still relaxed and not sharing my panic. The door opened, and I turned to see Rose standing with a stunned look on her face.

Jessica sat up quickly, forgetting to cover herself and so revealing her naked chest in the process. I looked back at the door but Rose was already gone, sprinting off downstairs.

I shared a blank look with Jessica, each of us just processing what had happened. She slowly smiled at me before clamping her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.

She fell back, giggling and twisting on the bed.

I smiled at her reaction, despite the sudden sense of dread I was feeling. This was going to be tough to explain.

"I guess we've been caught!" Jessica laughed, sitting up again.

"My fault." I sighed, "Shouldn't have fallen asleep."

"Well, I forgive you." she laughed, jumping out of bed to get dressed.

Of course, she'd wanted this all along. For Rose to be in on our secret. The one person I least wanted to find out.

Jessica dressed quickly, then turned to me.

"Alright, damage control." She said confidently, "Since she knows now, we should go explain everything to her, right?"

"Not everything." I said, standing up and putting on my clothes, "As far as she knows, this is just sex, ok? No... no control or anything else. And no... love."

She frowned for a second before smiling again.

"Ok, that's fine." She said cheerfully, "As long as she knows its happening, I don't really care."

I finished dressing and we made our way downstairs. I was amazed by how carefree, even excited Jessica was acting. I felt like we were heading towards execution. It occurred to me how unfair I'd been in wanting to keep this a secret from Rose. She was really the only person Jessica had to talk to, and having to go through everything without her couldn't have been easy.

Yet another mistake I'd made.

We walked into the kitchen to find Rose still looking shocked in the centre of the room, almost on the verge of panic.

"What the fuck!?" she screeched as soon as we entered.

"I know, right?" Jessica laughed, still seeming completely unconcerned, "Surprise!"

"You fucked my brother!?" She shouted "What the fuck!"

Jessica just laughed.

"Just calm down and we can talk about it." She said lightly.

"Talk about what!? How did this even happen?"

"Well, it was a few months ago..." Jessica started to explain.

"MONTHS!?" Rose screeched "What do you mean 'months'? You've been fucking my brother behind my back for months!?"

"Oh, whoops." Jessica said, "Yeah it's been a while I guess. Basically we-"

"God, I don't want any details!" she interrupted.

Jessica just laughed again.

Neither girl had looked at me yet, and I was content to let them sort it out. I was still confused by Jessica's complete lack of concern at her best friends anger.

"I wasn't going to give you details." she said, "I was just-"

"How?" Rose interrupted again, "How is this even possible...? I mean... when? Your parents aren't gone that often!"

"Fridays, usually. After you go to sleep." Jessica answered calmly.

"Oh, so what you... you wait for me to fall asleep beside you and then go across the hall to fuck my brother!" she shouted, "and then what... just slip back into bed with me?"

"Well I always shower afterwards." Jessica said, managing to sound slightly offended.

"Fuck." Rose said, "This is insane... And why are you smiling?"

"I'm just waiting for you to stop freaking out so we can talk." she said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rose demanded.

Jessica hesitated, and I finally said something.

"I asked her not to tell anyone." I said, and finally Rose turned to me

"You asked...? But why would you keep this from me?" I watched as her anger quickly melted into sadness. "I thought we were supposed to be friends again..."

"Yeah well why do you think that is?" I asked, "I mean, we weren't friends when it started."

Rose frowned, but didn't answer.

"Why do you think we've been getting along so well lately?" I continued, "When it started... I didn't know what was going to change between you and me, if anything. It just seemed easier to keep it a secret. And then suddenly you're making me sit with your friends and inviting me to parties... It was easier to just to keep it private. I mean, God, who wants to have this conversation?"

Rose thought about this, and slowly seemed to accept it.

"So this... you two being all friendly... it's because you were... involved?"

I nodded.

"So... what?" She said, looking at us both, "What... what the fuck is this?"

"Its just sex." Jessica said, easily repeating the lie I'd told her to.

"Just sex?" Rose said disbelievingly, "Jesus Jessica, I never thought I'd hear that from you. I mean... you hate sex. You don't even masturbate!"

"Yeah, I used to hate sex." She said. "But... you know, it turns out it's pretty fun when you're doing it right."

A hint of a smile appeared twitched at Rose's lips before she frowned, looking back at me.

"And you... both of you, I mean. I thought you hated each other..."

Jessica shrugged.

"Its pretty hard to stay angry at your only source of orgasms." She said lightly.

That got her. Rose couldn't help but laugh a little, and then she seemed to finally relax. She let her shoulders drop, and sat down on top of the table. I tried not to think about what we'd been doing on that surface the day before.

"Jesus." She sighed, taking her head in her hands, "This is so surreal. I mean, I've spent the last few months hoping you weren't about to suddenly turn on each other again, and now..."

Jessica sat down next to her, barely flinching when her badly bruised ass took her weight, and I moved over to lean against the counter. Jessica hadn't stopped smiling the entire time. I guess she knew that Rose would eventually relax.

"Ok, so explain this to me." Rose said, lifting her head. "I mean, why keep it a secret?"

She looked at me when she said this. I knew from the way she'd reacted earlier that she was surprised I was the one who wanted privacy. It probably didn't make sense to her; a loser outcast like myself should probably have been screaming from the rooftops if I'd so much as kissed a girl like Jessica, whereas she would probably take a fair amount of criticism just by being associated with me.

Or maybe not. Even as I thought about that reasoning, I couldn't be certain how accurate my assessment was. Would anyone really care who Jessica slept with?

But then I thought about how quickly my classmates had surrounded me after my confrontation with Mike. How at least half of all conversation between Rose, Lissie, and Becky during lunch was focused around who was fucking who, and how, and where. They were obsessed with other people's business.

"I'm just a private person." I said, "It's no-one's business."

"Alright... I mean, most guys would want to spread something like that around but..." she trailed off, and I smirked. "God, and I've been pushing Becky on you this whole time, jeez..."

"Oh I don't mind if he wants to hook up with someone else." Jessica cut in, "It's none of my business."

I flinched at this admission. This was a weird enough conversation without bringing that whole thing into it.

"Seriously?" Rose said, turning sharply to face her, "You don't care if your boyfriend sleeps around. You."

I guessed this was related to what Jessica had revealed to me this weekend, about her parents being unfaithful.

"He's not my boyfriend." she answered simply. "I don't own him."

Again I frowned at her, feeling like her might be getting close to dangerous territory. I felt exposed enough just talking about my sex life with Jessica in a general sense, I didn't want the dark details to even be touched on. Mentioning ownership at all was definitely a risky area.

Rose just shook her head, amazed.

"So... my best friend and my little brother have been fucking behind my back for... for months." she summarised, still sounding amazed. "You know what? I think I can live with that." she smiled.

Jessica put her arm around her and hugged her close, and I felt a weight lift off my chest. this could have exploded in my face, ruining one of the best things to come out of this whole complicated mess.

"So... how did it start?" Rose asked.

Jessica hesitated and glanced at me.

"It just sort of happened." she said. "Around the time I broke up with Mike."

Rose looked at her, lifting her eyebrows.

Jessica's smile finally faltered, and she blushed slightly, looking away.

"Or maybe it was... a little bit... before I broke up with Mike?" She said.

"You left Mike for my little brother?" Rose asked.

"Pretty much." Jessica said, then suddenly grinned.

Rose looked at me, then leaned closer to Jessica.

"So I'm guessing he doesn't have the same... problem that Mike had?" She asked, glancing towards my crotch.

I felt myself blush, and suppressed the urge to cover myself. I didn't want my sister even thinking about my cock, never mind asking questions about it.

"Actually, pretty much the opposite problem." Jessica answered.

"Opposite?" Rose asked, shocked.

"Well, let's just say you really shouldn't be calling him your 'little' brother."

"Oh!" Rose said, looking at me again.

She smiled with an odd sense of approval, again glancing at my crotch.

"Good for you, bro." She said

"Alright, this is getting weird." I said standing up, "I'm going to get a shower."

Both girls giggled at my reaction.

"Jessica, you're not going with him?" Rose joked.

"Oh yeah, do you want some company baby?" Jessica asked, laughing with her.

I flipped them off over my shoulder as I walked out, causing them both to burst out laughing again.

I got my clothes from my overnight bag and went to the bathroom. I glanced in the mirror, and I couldn't stop the wide grin that split my face. Rose knew, and it wasn't a disaster. I sighed yet another breath of relief, and got into the shower. The only concern now was making sure nothing more got out. No other sordid details.

I got dressed and found the girls in the living room, sitting on the couch and talking closely.

"My turn for the shower." said Jessica, noticing me enter.

She jumped up and walked by me, winking as she did. I hadn't seen her this happy in forever.

"So." Rose said as I sat down, "Not so little brother."

"So." I said.

She paused for a few seconds, just staring at me in disbelief.

"I can't believe you're fucking Jessica." she said, "I mean, it defies all logic!"

I laughed.

"Yeah, I'm as surprised as you are." I said.

"I mean, not that you're not... attractive, or anything... but Jessica's like crazy hot!"

"She is." I said.

"I mean, did you see her boobs this morning? I haven't seen them for a few years, they're amazing!"

"Are you surprised or jealous?" I asked, laughing.

She laughed with me.

"Well... my mind's still pretty blown, but I'm... I'm happy for you." she said, "And her too, I guess. She's always been so weird about sex, you know? To see her actually be able to talk about it, to joke about it... it's good for her."