This is a private letter Yuka is writing, mostly for herself. But she doesn't know that XX is going to read it…
Hi. My name's Yuka Kikuchi and I just turned eighteen yesterday. I know it's an important day in my life, the day I officially become legal, but somehow it doesn't have the luster it once did. I hate to admit it, but most of the things that were illegal - drinking, going to over 18 clubs - I've been doing them since the beginning of high school. Of course, my parents don't know about it and even then, they wouldn't do anything to me. I passed my college entrance exams on the first try; I get good grades and get home on time. They have no reason to complain and actually they never have. They're not so bad, even if they're old.
Anyway, I'm writing this to get some things out in the open. Even though I've done some bad things, I've never been as bad as some of the girls at my school. I've seen the things they do every day, how much money they have to get all of the designer French things I see in Takashimaya all the time. They sell themselves to get it, to salarymen, to foreigners with lots of money… I don't know exactly what they do when they get together, but I hear them talk about it. It's almost like a study session, everyone comparing notes on what their 'danna-sama' does for them. Just yesterday while I was eating lunch, I was sitting with my friend Rie and two more girls came and sat next to us. They were wearing the usual too-short skirts, riding high on their thighs; one of them, I swore I could see her butt! Anyway, they started talking about their night on the town somewhere in Shibuya and all the drinking they did. They did look a little tipsy still, in my opinion. Somewhere along the way, their conversation changed to what their danna-sama wanted them to do.
One girl said, "He wanted me to pose in my panties and take pictures… that was pretty cool!"
I kept on listening, just wondering how they could let strangers do those kinds of things to them. The other girl laughed at what she said and told her own story.
"Well, last night was very different for me," she started. Everyone at the table was listening to every word she said. "He (meaning her foreigner lover) made me bend over and shoved himself right into my ass. No lie!" She said all of this practically in a whisper because it's still taboo to do all of these things, even if she was eighteen already. "It was hard at first because his cock is so big, but he got it in and it felt good after a while!"
They kept talking for a while more about how he did this and that, but I tuned it out and finished my lunch. What none of them knew was that I was still a virgin. Here they were talking about that so openly and I haven't even had a boy touch me in any intimate way ever! I was blushing, but no one noticed but Rie. She pitied me in a way; even she had lost her virginity already and she took a lot of pleasure in telling me her experience right after it happened.
When I think about it, the guys have never really been interested in me. Not until recently. On my way home, my only male friend Takeshi stopped me and asked me if I wanted to go and karaoke. So of course, I asked who was coming since we always did it as a group and all he did was smile in a strange way.
"Just the two of us," he told me.
I was a little flustered, so I made up some excuse that I had homework to do or that I had to help my mother with chores. I don't remember which one. Even after refusing him, he just said, "Maybe next time" and told me he'd see me later. I don't know what to think of it. Am I really this naïve? I do like Takeshi, but I never know what to expect with the whole dating thing.
When I got home last night, my mind was so filled with guys and the sex those girls were talking about that I did something very unusual for me: I went on the Internet looking for pictures about sex. My room is very private and I have my own computer, so I can do pretty much whatever I want. All of the things I saw made me more interested in what it would be like to do the things these women were doing. Some of them were in poses that seemed unnatural, upside down, bent sideways… The last thing I expected was this wet feeling between my legs that started to form. It felt so strange; I was sitting there and all of a sudden, there was this throbbing feeling down there and the urge to just feel it overwhelmed me. So I did.
I was wearing just a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I didn't look down at what I was doing because I would have never done it in the first place. My hand slipped in my pants and it was so warm down there. Really warm and moist. I just used one finger to see what was going on and it landed on something that felt wonderful. It was a little hard against my finger, making me squirm. I couldn't help myself from playing with it a little more. I was still watching pictures and short movies of men thrusting deep into women, playing with their breasts and so many other things that made my body warm. I realized I was aroused for the first time and worse yet, I was playing with myself. One finger turned into two and the next thing I knew, I retreated to my bed and started playing more intensely. I took my shirt off and I looked down to see my brown nipples tight and jutting out from me. Something told me to touch them, feel them… so I did. Suddenly, I moaned and I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help it when I brushed my finger over the tips. My fingers were frantic, rubbing that bit of flesh that had me crazy.
The next thing I knew, my eyes grew fuzzy and the sensation that was building all this time… it collapsed. I collapsed. It felt like I was falling from a twenty story building, that strange arousing sensation bursting like a supernova. There was this clenching deep inside; I could feel it pulsating and I couldn't stop it even if I wanted.
And now, I feel guilty. Very guilty. I didn't want to stop there, that's the reason why. I wanted more. I want more. I'm eighteen and I'm finally alive, for the first time. I don't want to be like those other girls, but I do want to feel what they're feeling. Just to know what it's like to be with someone intimately. That makes me feel dirty just thinking about it.
Yuka tried to shake off the feeling of arousal that was building inside her as she sat in her English class, waiting for the teacher to arrive. She was an hour early and it gave her time to write a letter to herself. Just as she was about to write another line, the door opened and in walked her teacher. It was strange to have a Japanese man as an English teacher, but the school made an exception since he lived in the United States for most of his life. Kazuo Takahashi was very young, only 24, but from his introduction on the first day, he had an amazing sense of intelligence that Yuka was impressed.
"Good evening, Mister Takahashi," Yuka greeted in her heavily accented English. She struggled constantly with the language, but she was determined to do her best. Her teacher seemed to appreciate her constant efforts to speak.
Kazuo set his bag down and smiled softly at Yuka. "Good evening, Yuka. How are you today?"
His stylish haircut had bits of highlighted hair streaming over his face in various spots. Yuka thought it was very sexy. She did notice that he was a little more muted than normal, so she decided to be more aggressive in the conversation.
"I am okay," she said, tucking her letter under her books without looking. He didn't need to know about that. "You look very…" Yuka couldn't come up with the word in English, but it echoed in her head in Japanese. Troubled. Troubled.
He came over to her and sat next to her. The class wasn't going to start for another half hour at least, so he didn't mind having a small private session with her.
"What word are you thinking of, Yuka?" he said in Japanese. It was rare for him to use the language in English class, if ever.
"Troubled," she responded in kind. "Is something wrong?"
He shook his head and leaned back against the chair. "No. I just have some things on my mind." Kazuo wasn't about to tell her about the bad night he'd had.
Ever since he'd returned to Japan, his first trip in almost ten years, he'd had a hard time adjusting. Maybe it was his lifestyle in America that made him seem like he wasn't really Japanese for the first time in his life. It didn't matter if he was born here; it didn't feel right somehow. Six months later, his view changed 180 degrees but his trials continued. Teaching English, even though he spoke perfect Japanese, didn't seem right. And his personal life wasn't going so well either. That was the real source of his issues from last night. Three months of no sex was starting to choke his cock. Japanese girls were entirely too dependent on their boyfriends, he found, and that was a major turnoff for him.
His attention returned to Yuka. She was a nice girl. Smart, gorgeous and definitely available. She had virgin written all over her, which was why Kazuo stayed away. Still, it was a nice view from here.
Returning to English, Kazuo continued. "Are you ready for class today?"
Yuka's short-lived comfort in Japanese disappeared as soon as he started speaking English again. "Yes, I am looking forward to it."
The door began to open with entering students and immediately Yuka saw the transformation her teacher underwent when class was about to start. The serious and focused version of the more laid back man she was just speaking with.
"And Yuka," he informed. "The word is 'troubled'." Yuka nodded, making certain to write it down and say it a few times in her head.
The class started promptly at six o'clock and was filled with lots of talking about current events and what people did for the day. Two hours flew by quickly and soon the class was breaking for the night. People said their goodbyes to the teacher and their fellow classmates. Yuka and a few other classmates decided they were going to go karaoke after class, so they left together. As Yuka left the room, her letter slipped from the book she carried in her hands onto the floor. No one noticed the sheet fall except Kazuo. He rushed to pick it up and had every intention of giving it back to Yuka, until his eyes fell on what she had written.
"Good God," he muttered in English as he read line after line. Deep inside, he wondered just how aroused she had gotten just writing this. So she wanted to know what it was like? Maybe this was just the opportunity he was looking for.
Karaoke was lots of fun for Yuka, as it was the tradition for a few of her classmates to go out after their Friday night class and sing songs in English all night long. They were all equally bad at English, but it was less serious when they were all singing and had some liquor in them. After a few hours of revelry, they parted ways and made their way home. When Yuka left them, she was surprised to run into her English teacher along the way.
"Mr. Takahashi!" she said with surprise, smiling at him.
"Outside of class, you can call me Kazuo, Yuka," he replied with an equally bright smile. He was speaking in Japanese now and Yuka could tell that out of class, Japanese was okay too.
"What are you doing here, anyway?" she asked, curious why he was there.
"Oh, right," he said half-heartedly. Kazuo held out his hand; in it was Yuka's letter. Her confession to herself. "I believe this belongs to you." Immediately, Yuka covered her mouth at her carelessness, eyes wide in horror. He had her letter? Oh no! She slowly took it from his hands and held it against her palpitating chest.
"You didn't… read it, did you?" she gulped, fearful her teacher might think badly of her.
Instead of the disgust she expected to see, he grinned. "Yes, I did." Before she could react, he held up his hand to stop her. "Yuka, don't worry about it. I won't tell anyone about what you wrote. I promise."
She exhaled her held breath and then felt tears come to her eyes. Kazuo sensed the frustration in her, so he reached out and held her face with both hands, brushing away her tears with his thumbs. She sniffed, dark eyes upturned to look at him. Yuka couldn't believe her teacher was standing there, soothing her in a way no one had ever done before. His touch felt so wonderful against her skin, the sensitivity she knew was in him rising to the surface. Her skin grew flushed at the attention and Kazuo could feel the warmth rising.
"I'm so sorry," she muttered, trying to pull away, but he wouldn't let her.
"I have to admit something to you, Yuka. What you wrote," he began, brushing back her hair from her face, "was very honest. It is also something you shouldn't be ashamed of. It's very normal to feel the way you do."
"But, sensei," she whispered, "It's so dirty."
Her innocence was cute, he decided. Kazuo released her face and tipped her chin up to look at him. She wasn't afraid of him and if anything, was more afraid of herself in that moment.
"Do you trust me, Yuka?" He needed to know this before the night went any further. Kazuo had an idea of what he wanted to accomplish, to show Yuka that her feelings, her desires were more than just normal. They were beautiful.
She nodded slowly, wondering briefly what he meant. "Yes, I trust you. Why do you ask a question like that?"
He gave her a wicked smile. "Because, if you're willing, I'll show you everything you've been wondering about."
As soon as he said that, Yuka felt her heart throbbing in her chest and that secret place between her legs followed suit. Her teacher and... her?
"Okay," she agreed softly. The smile she saw on his face made her feel happy and safe.
Guiding her down the street toward the train station in companionable silence, they went through the ticket gates for the Yamanote line.
"Um…where are we going, Kazuo?" Yuka felt more comfortable calling him by his given name now. "Your place?" She said the last very softly and shyly.
Kazuo chuckled at her question, finding it a bit presumptuous but innocent all the while. With a shake of his head, he said, "I like your eagerness, but not yet. We're going to Roppongi."
Roppongi? On a Friday night with all those foreigners around? She fingered her mobile phone and realized she hadn't called her mom to let her know the change in plans.
"I should call my mom," she told Kazuo. He nodded his reply, but even she realized how strange that sounded, given what he promised to do to her that night. Her conversation was very quick and her mom very accommodating. She left it at a "you're eighteen now, just be careful" type of answer, which Yuka found comforting.
On the train, they spoke of everything but what was in her letter. He probably didn't want to scare me, she thought. Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the station, neither surprised by the horde of people swarming the streets. They started walking again, surprisingly away from the lights and insanity to a small street about a five minute walk from the station. Kazuo stopped them just outside of a small two-story building. There was nothing distinctive about it, faint lighting making its way through shaded windows.
"We need to role-play a little bit here, Yuka. Do you know what I mean?" he asked, his face a little more serious. "This place is a special house made for voyeurs. It is for couples that like to watch people have sex."
Her eyes gave away immediately that she'd never heard of such a thing. "How do I need to act?"
"Just act like my girlfriend and everything should be fine," he said, assured that she could play her role. "And we should probably get this out of the way first…"
In one felt swoop, Kazuo's lips landed on Yuka's, shocking her to her toes. His hand made its way around her waist, pulling her closer to what she realized was his arousal. He was just as turned on as she was. Yuka had never been kissed like that before, his tongue slipping through her parted lips to taste her. It felt so incredible that Yuka began to feel lightheaded from intensity of it. Kazuo felt her body go softer against him, giving in to the sensuous emotions racing through her. A minute or so later - neither could tell how much time really passed - they parted, Yuka taking a deep breath to regain her equilibrium.
"Are you okay?" Kazuo asked, holding her upper arms to steady her.
"I'm o-okay," stuttered Yuka. Her eyes began to refocus and she began to smile once again. "I'm better than okay. That was wonderful."
Kazuo smiled back. "I'm glad you think so. So were you." He tweaked her nose with a fingertip. "So, are you ready for this?" When she nodded, he led them through the entrance.
Instantly, they were silently greeted by a young woman dressed in a tight red leather bustier and equally tight shorts that seemed to frame her ass perfectly. Kazuo gave her a slight nod and the two were led down a dim hallway, lit vaguely by streaming red light. As they walked, Yuka took Kazuo's hand into hers for some much needed courage, to which he glanced at her with a smile. They turned a corner and on their right were windows peering into bedroom scenes, people engaging in all sorts of sexual acts. The young woman stopped and bowed to Kazuo and Yuka, then took her leave in the opposite direction. That left them completely alone in the hallway.
Yuka's eyes were held captive by the beautiful woman on the bed, her arms and legs spread wide, restrained by rope on the bedposts. The man had a lit candle in his hand and a wicked look on his face, as he leaned it toward her taut nipple and let the hot wax fall. She screamed, her face red with angst, but even Yuka could tell it was arousing her.
"Why…?" she whispered to herself. Kazuo stood silently behind her to let her watch. It was something beautiful to behold, watching Yuka's eyes become opened to many different sexual pleasures. He was soon unable to hold back himself, as the man set aside the candle to reach between the woman's legs. Yuka felt her breath catch when he began stroking his cock in one hand and playing between her legs simultaneously. Suddenly, her teacher was right against her back, his hand encircling her waist to bring her into his erection.
"Ah, sensei," she responded, surprised by his sudden move and by how intensely aroused he was. "Sensei…"
Kazuo took a deep breath, bidding himself to stay patient and slow. It's been so long, he thought, as he slipped his hand beneath her skirt and stroked her wetness through panties. She's so wet… His cock bucked wildly in his pants, begging to be let loose, but not yet. Yuka wasn't ready yet.
"How does that feel?" he asked softly in her ear. His scent was all about her, the musky scent of maleness infiltrating her senses. Kazuo flicked his tongue against her ear, swirling around the lobe lightly until he felt her shudder in his arms. He heard her soft moan when his finger pressed against her clit, which was unusually large from what he could tell.
The man in the room changed positions and was fully erect, a full nine inches of thickness pushing into the bound woman. Her body struggled to be free, long dark locks swinging back and forth into her face.
"I'm gonna fuck you hard now…" they heard the man say fiercely. He followed through with a long, full stroke into her, the woman screaming out in pleasure. Yuka felt her body respond as he moved against her, pounding over and over into the woman. Kazuo's fingers pushed her panties aside to feel her swollen mound, reaching in to stroke her clit hard. He wanted her to come right there watching the rabid sex that was happening before them. Her ass pressed unconsciously into Kazuo, coaxing a thick groan from him.