- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Bonfire
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A circle of backs,
wrapped in pelts and curses
dug from bottom shelves
in dry attics,
shut out the night.
But it seeps in between boots
to feed the updraft,
where crows circle grateful
just out of vision.
A smoldering beam snaps
and laden,
a swarm of cinder
polinate the air.
Borealis claws
dug into numbed fingertips
are banished
for a second,
while eyes glitter
before shutting in fear
of ash burns
and much older things
that nobody have warned
their children about
for centuries,
but that can never
be truly forgotten.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 17 years agoThis is good but doesn't wow me as much as some of your other poems have, MM.
Suggestions:
I would drop the commas in the first stanza to help the rhythm,
it sounded odd when I read it, having these two pauses there.
Likewise, I would put in an active verb in the second stanza to give a greater impact. Perhaps 'seeping' would do the job?
LeBrozabout 17 years agoI like the way you've put together little elements to create the whole image here. And, BTW, have a happy big 30.
