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Click hereWe both know, you and I, that beneath this exterior
This cute kitten cloak woven to make me seem inferior
Under the purring and stroking, the soft nipping kisses
Is barely concealed the bites, claws and hisses.
And though I might curl in your lap with a soft impish smile
You know I'm much rawer, craving your denial.
These games that we play, dangerous roles we assume
When the sex gets so thick the smell fills the room
You'll humor your kitten 'til it no longer suits you
Your hands become rough, eyes dare me to refute you
You know that I won't but I know you like a fight,
Crouched in figurative corners, it's going to be a long night
An unprovoked shove, I find myself on my floor
On my knees, eyes flashing, barely suppressing a roar.
The contest has begun, your hands gripped in my hair
My nails rake down your arms, you find teeth and claws bared.
Yet with ease, almost careless, I'm raised, pushed to the wall.
There's rending and tearing, cascading falls
Of the fabric that barred us, now letting each through.
Lips, tongues and fingertips threatening anew.
In a language, dark and primal, you've captured my voice
Drawing sounds screamed or whimpered, you leave no choice.
Bodies crashing, colliding, in rhythmic undulations
We're hellbent and spell-bound in carnal relations.
Passions written on flesh, my skin lashed and bruised
Until sated, exhausted, and pleasantly used.
Breathing in time with your arm 'round my waist
Our bodies still joined, your lips descend for a taste
Of the salt on my skin. It's a token reward
Of the battles you've fought with me, won by your sword.
I love the contrast here between the pet's sweet submission and the fact that she also puts up plenty of fight. Sounds like that really turns them both on.
1. Syllable count and stress - your verses are uneven so they distract from rhythm.
2. Punctuation - you miss apostrophes as in cute kitten cloak - kitten's or cloak's?
3. Reverse phrasing - looks clumsy unless done really cleverly, rather than as a quick fix as you seem to do at line 4.
4. Read this aloud and check how it flows.
Sweet O.