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Click hereSophie smiles
and spreads her thighs.
Perched on the sofa's back
like some disheveled vulture
shoulders pressing against cool plaster
so she can see her sex
in the mirror facing.
She holds her breath.
The only sound
the gentle slurp that fingers make
in molten folds of flesh engorged.
Eyes wide but now sightless
she grunts
then gently slides
down rough brocade.
::
even if I'm not a fan of people grunting during sexual ecstasy - they may do it, but still.
+5 for the images though - I'll never look at a brocade couch the same way again.
disheveled vulture
cool plaster
cool and unusual sonic combo
molten folds of flesh engorged.
here too
I agree with todski - not sure about the grunt. She sighs? She gasps? Maybe not the effect you were looking for. Also not sure if you need shoulders in the second line, it's implied. Still an excellent write and an interesting situation.
Here. I read a lot of your work since seeing your interview in the forum, your style is awesome. Inly thing I didn't like was the line
she grunts
there again just about everything else has been done ad-nauseum worthy of a five from me.