All Comments on 'The Ranch Ch. 01'

You've got an interesting beginning here. The writing is well done and you provided just enough of a backstory on the men to get an idea of who they are.

Thank you for not having a woman who 'gives in to her secret craving, throws her legs wide, pleads to be fucked and has a SCREAMING orgasm'. So far you've avoided all the obvious cliches and I like that.

Good story so far, but a bad place to end it!

We'll see. The ending was terrible and if the remainder of the story follows that path this will descend down the drain it is circling.

Though good as an outline or rough draft. There are too variables and open issues. Some of the play/challenge between the two men needs to be better understood. Either more outlined or parts of their "sports" need to be rehashed. As for the great unknown of living in the middle of nowhere, the the author stated that the men have met business relations there at the ranch, that remove the remoteness as now investor or high rolling business persons would not be without internet and phones. So even if she left her phone behind (almost believable) there are phones in each room, the store that she locked up would have one, and hallway might just have a in house phone but with assistance could get an outside line. If she was already on edge it might have still slipped out that no one know where she was but I doubt it as she would have been formulating a story that mapped out the route she was taking. And why not ask for a ride from the waiter, or the first guy, if it was an issue of cell use. Why not use the hotel phone just to call her family or what not. I mean she goes to her room for a quick shower and dresses in the new dress but does not use the phone or internet or does not go back to the lobby to get her phone though she is creeped out by mark. She even thinks about the bad moves, stated to Mark that it is not worth it...meaning she will report rape. So what do they kill her in the end? Too many holes...not able to suspend disbelief.

It was very good writing no doubt. It would have been so much better if you had posted the second chapter as well or just added more.

I am very pleased with the first chapter of your story. I like the intrigue created by having her mysterious secret that keeps her from contacting the police. I can't wait to see what she needed to escape while only succeeding in being caught in another traumatic situation. It was very refreshing that she wasn't suddenly finding the situation pleasing just because her body started to show signs of arousal due to direct stimulation. She refused several offers of alcohol and kept her wits about her and is a fighter. She makes a worthy opponent.

However, It would have been better if the two men had been the only people present when the last employee left though. I surmise that she was already sufficiently freaked out by that time that she would have alerted the waiter and he could likely see her unease. Also there should have been a bad storm that made cellular reception in this rustic mountain retreat impossible and trudging back out onto the road in the hope of finding another motorist or reaching the closest town or nestled neighbor unlikely.

Please continue!! This is such a well written story ^_^

especially Mark. I hope she kicks him in the nads so hard he has to adopt.

This is sort of a weird story but apparently a good one because now i'm sucked into it and have to read what happens in the rest of the chapters LOL

this is more scary than erotic this is actually a night mare for any girl to be trapped with two dangerous rapist no matter how handsome they are specially when they are into noncon bdsm

right now i really love katy she resist them at her best she resist alcohol she chose least revealing dress she really gets disgusted and creeped by them even offered to give her card details and to do checkup to avoid freeloading and someone to track her down if something bad happens to her forgot to take her phone like a non suspecting scared normal girl would rather than aroused like a whore

the guys are super creepy and scary i dont give fuck how atttactive they are they are right now treating her like a pray and later after fucking like a sex slave