by Randi Grail
i really enjoyed this. this theme is always fun to work with. i only have one suggestion. take it or leave it. but in this line:
"that yes I did I wrote I tried"
possibly commas after yes, did, wrote, tried,
or in the manner you have some of your lines set up
that yes (space) i did (space) i wrote (space) i tried.
that is all i saw. nice job.
...should be required reading.
saw myself, first thing I stopped doing is:
"brown nosing every dead end rhyme"
great line, almost, just almost, if I had the time
Oh crap!
sucky poem! None of my sucky poems are nearly as good as this. None of my good poems are as good as this. Can I have your trash?
And then again perhaps it weren't the words
But the medium used to write on ~ register tape
Bit of a limiting factor to begin with.
A talented poet ~ while she metaphorically beats herself about the head for lack of creative ability ~ she writes something so enjoyable. We should all be so lucky!