by seranade
I was swept up in the passion! "By nip and beating hearts breath" is the only line I was a little confused with. Someone could be nipping at your body, but hearts don't nip. If the "beating hearts breath" was intended to be a separate thought, you could have written it like this:
by your nips...and my beating hearts breaths
"Your" and "My" would clarify that thought even more, IF that is what you intended. Otherwise, a very successful little poem!
I swirled into this poem.. a tidal pool of desire. Very alluring and passion filled.. I feel the hunger the need the want to be consumed.. joining meshing living within the moment of bliss.. nice write thank you
du lac
well well do tell,
seranade me again for that was very moving, flawless. I sailed through this writing like a feather in the wind. Excellent piece. I so want to be ravaged now!