by Tom lancey 49
You took a potentially great concept and turned it into worthless crap. You need to work on your storytelling. You need lots and lots of improvement.
The idea was ok but it was to fast, you need to take more time in building the characters, setting the scene & the mood, makes it enjoyable for the reader. The way it's written at the moment it's just crap.
i have shared a mother and daughter, under much the same circumstances,,,mother knew i was screwing her daughter and she wanted some. they just laid it out to me...take care of both of us and using cock, mouth, tongue, fingers,even my fist and toes was fucked royally and often, juast having two women is great and i haveenjoyed it a few times...but mother and sister with them both getting it on with each other was a sexual experioence equalled by few. this is a ture story...44 year old mother...16 year old dauhter of legasl age.