by vet42
I feel it's a good story but I would have liked a short description of the second chance. Was it great, so-so, just as bad??
Good job though.
it was well conceived and fairly well executed.
I would suggest that you look into the volunteer editor program. A few things like making paragraphs shorter can make your stories easier to read online.
Good start - I encourage you to keep writing.
Regards, DJ
Listen not to those Nay-sayers.
This was a good tale, well told. Kept me enthralled, I can tell you.
and this was only your First !!!
Congrats.
Kilroy.
This Writer's main character, Linden Howard is a reminder to all of us how fortunate our lives have been in comparison. I found this story profoundly tragic and heartbreaking. Perhaps it was the author's plan to not completely resolve the issue of suicide. The ending was at most - a way of understanding!
I found this story very intriguing. It gives an indepth insite into the thoughts of the writer and lets the reader see what goes on in the mind of a troubled soul.
I would like to point out that people who suicide are in a world of pain and to ask them if they want to do themselves harm is ridiculous. Of course they don't want to harm themselves, they want the incessant pain to end. Jesus, what does it take to get through to people?
Oh, and one more thing. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Too bad he couldn't have gone a different route.
Thanks for the story, it was a good emotional read.
Tail End Pete
How can we know if you captured the feelings of one so deep in despair? This sure seemed what one could feel to do the final act them self.
Quite enthralling to the point of wondering what the character really did in the end. He has some business purpose but has set no objective to strive for. Whether he misses or hits it is irrelevant if he has purpose and a goal.
Thanks writer - it was riveting and provoking.
With Regard
P.S. - From your bio concerns - middles are easy with a good start as you did here. Endings get better with the experience of mistakes in the growing. Make them.
this story touches mind and soul. Many people live their live just on the surface and accept live as it comes so easily, or rather too easily. What about his second chance?
Care to enlighten us what he made of it ? G.Belgium