All Comments on 'untitled'

I really was touched by this poem. Sometimes, a first encounter, when written about, comes out sounding corny and adolescent, but you did a fine job here!!

A couple of things, if you are interested in feedback--( beyond the first sentence I wrote)

In Stanza 3, line 2, if you drop the "with" down to the next line, it sounds better, flows better. You have done a good job with this one, it just needs some minor tweaking.

I will look for your work again :)

NJ

http://forum.literotica.com:81/showthread.php?p=22863752#post22863752