All Comments on 'Milking the Serpent'

I thoroughly enjoyed the story you have presented to us. It had me mesmerized, n fact, I couldn't stop reading. I think you could tighten up the structure, just a little bit, maybe work the last 2 lines in closer to the rest, or do something to emphasize the POW. regardless what you do, I loved it. I, too, have been sucked in by a "serpent".

i mentioned this submission in the New Poem Review thread in the Poetry Forum. please feel free to come along and join in with other poets. the 50% temperature rating is given so that it does not affect future temp ratings - wildsweetone