All Comments  for

A Broken Heart Ch. 02

bycellophanesmile©
All
Comments (14)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Tricialen04/23/08

Way Too Short

I really like this...thank you for sharing and I am hoping that there will be more soon.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous04/23/08

hmm

Wonder what happens when he finds out about Fitz? Please update soon!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous04/23/08

Love it!

Love it! This is a great story! Cant wait to find out how jake reacts! Cant wait for the next chapter! Please update soon! Thanks!!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous04/23/08

GREAT BUT TOO SHORT

Please try to make the submissions a bit longer but great work cant wait for the update (WHICH I HOPE WILL BE SOON!)

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by michchick9804/23/08

Getting better...

Okay, I like this chapter a bit better. I figured she'd end up pregnant from the rape. I think Heidi and Jake still have a lot to talk about before they can become friends or even lovers. Looking forward to the next chapter.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous04/24/08

awww! I need another chapter!

This story is really breaking my hearT! Please post asap!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous04/24/08

since when....

do four year olds take the bus?

i went to a private school so im not really familiar, but don't you have to be in a certain grade/a certain age to ride the bus?

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous04/28/08

really nice work!

Yeah, there may be some minor flaws (q.v. earlier comments), but this story is on track for some really beautiful stuff. I'm looking forward to future chapters.
-- KK in Texas
t

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous05/28/08

OMG!

i loved it! it made me cry it was so sweet!
i know, i'm weird.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous06/13/08

wow...

I guess I'm different. I'm not seeing what's so "sweet" about this story. He raped her 4 years ago, then he comes back with a very weak apology, an insulting "you looked so beautiful the night I raped you", and then he kisses her and says "come back to my house. Huh? what am I missing? where is the great romance that others are commenting on? Ladies, we clearly need to up our standards if this is what we're considering a "sweet"/"bring tears to the eyes" romance.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous11/12/08

cute!

this story is so sweet and romantic! love it!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous04/21/09

A few adjustments

Four year olds are pre-schoolers, not kindergarteners. I think this story could be a good basis for a really interesting twist on romance. I think you need to expand on it though, give more character development. Why does Jake rape her? How does that fit into his personality and how will you turn that around into something that gives him integrity as an adult? Why doesn't she tell him about the baby, etc. I think this could be a really fantastic story with some work. Looking forward to reading the rest!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous09/16/09

fitzroy? really

you might as well just tattoo "bastard" on your son's forehead!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by 0649d12/27/10

dammit

I KNEW she got a baby! T_T It's just sad, this is reality for many girls in real life....! Keep writing please! Would love a good ending

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to A Broken Heart Ch. 02  or
More submissions by cellophanesmile.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel