by 15 years old, Rachel had DD breasts? And Benjamin was hung? I don't think so.
Every writer writes according to his own vision. So why all the trashing. If you can do better then write your own so you can be judged also. BUT CUT THE BS. I found it a nice easy simple story.
I knew a girl who, when she was 12, was already in a "C" cup, so don't be too shocked by the DD at 15. Besides, the author didn't say anything about her weight and, if she was a little heavy, "DD" is not out of the question at all. The author did say that she was being hit-on a lot at school, but if she had "DDs", I imagine that a lot of teenagers might have been interested in being the first to enjoy them. The guy being "well hung"...well, the author didn't give a measurement, so maybe "well hung" is 9" for a guy that age. Certainly not obscene or impossible. If the guy was tall, I'm sure that it would be considered proportional to his height. My biggest issue with the story is that it was too short and needed a few more incidents. Here's hoping that there are more chapters, longer chapters, and a little bit better editing. Too many easily-caught mistakes that could have been corrected to make the story flow more freely.
LOVED IT, I REALLY HOPE YOU ADD TO IT.
that was partially surrounded by innocence. I did like the way that for the first time, it was simple masturbation. Which in itself would have been powerful enough to satisfy the 'innocence aspect'. Okay there were a few mistakes in the story, but nothing major. Regarding the breast size at 30DD, its not very believable, although I've known a few girls at 16/17yrs old with 34 or 36DD, but thats not really the norm. Regarding the size of his pecker, well it was basically just eluded to being overly well hung. I guess it depends on who is telling the story. From the sisters point of view, enormous could be any size, seeing as she hadn't seen any others. I've known guys with big peckers (upto 10"). One guy told me that he used to scare the girls with his 9" monster when he was 18 yrs old. So it is possible, but again not the norm.
the mice (brother & sister) will play! Their mother wasn't there to say, 'No' so they're going to do whatever feels good & FUCKING does feel GOOD!
To all those people who find that Rachael having DD breasts at fifteen is not believable, I knew a girl who went to my school was bigger than that at fifteen so it is possible.
good but you goofed at the start you said they were mid 20's a few paragraphs later you say they are now 18 keep track of your writing goofs like this can ruin a story
This was very similar to the first time Sis gave me a BJ. When I took it out for the first time she seemed mesmerized and asked could she touch it? Of course Sis and she started stroking it. Soon she was stuffing my dick in her mouth for my very first blowjob! I couldn't hold out for long and I shot a HUGE load down her throat
IVE WANTED TO FUCK MY SISTER & IM NOT SURE HOW TO DO IT !!!! IVE BOUGHT HER PANTIES.......& EVEN CAME ALL OVER HER BRAS & PANTIES !!!
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