All Comments  for

In The Mall...

bygimmie_your_load©
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Comments (7)
by Anonymous

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by AmazingLife03/23/09

Oh...

i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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by Anonymous03/23/09

OMG!!!

That was a fantastically hot story. Keep 'em coming, please!!

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by Anonymous05/19/10

wow, excellent...

Lucia - how very good again - so realistic, and the detail... made me so turned on, again... and that is saying something, as I came reading your Nurse Lucia story... you have such a way with detail, and making time stop so that you can bring to life each and every little event... I loved it, very much, as I have all the others that I have read..

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by Chimney Sweep05/07/11

Powerful and direct.

And just a little bit sloppy. I highly suggest an editor. I counted about 5 grammar/spelling/word choice issues, and in a story this short they stand out a little.

Also, I found the phrase "...his cock ceased to leak cum..." a bit cumbersome. Nothing major, it just didn't flow well for me.

I still gave you a 5, in hopes you'll remember me next time I go shopping in a Canadian mall...

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by gimmie_your_load05/07/11

First Story

I agree with you Chimney Sweep, this was actually my first erotic story, written in 2005 long before I ever found literotica to upload to. I think it is a far cry from my newer stories, and I hope that I am improving :)

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by Anonymous02/04/13

Damn girl, I'm in fuckin' love with you :)

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by Anonymous02/28/13

hey it's Adam

easily one of your best stories ;)

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