by lottieH
I loved this chapter and can't wait for the next one. Please update soon :)
This was very different from the stories i have read so far on this site. :) Congrats. I have really enjoyed reading this chapter. I cant wait for the next chapter(s), i hope you dont keep us waiting too long :) Im dieing to know whats going to happen next!! Hurry please.
You wrote a terrific chapter. I cant wait for the next chapters to come. Please, write the next chapter asap. Im beyond curious as to what will happen next. Congrats on a successful story. :)
I really like the beginning of this story and hope to reading more soon.
I love where you are taking this story. Please continue it! I will say though, that there are a few mistakes that could be corrected with an editor. Not that many but a couple of times were confusing because of misspelled words. However, that being said, I still love this story and I hope you continue to finish it.
I really enjoyed reading this chaper! I hope that you decide to write more SOON!!! Thanks!
Think it's a good start, but I was a bit distracted by your lack of knowledge of sailing. Go left? Tipping?
Small things though, I'm still looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Shaking the ground? Fell on the ground? In the ocean? Huh.....Turn left? Other than a couple of goofs, not a bad read so far. I normally don't read sci-fi, but this caught my attention and so far so good, please continue. Thanks.
and so different from what I've read here before. Eagerly waiting for the next chapter.
Challenging story, especially for a first effort, but a commendable start, all things considered.
Seem to be off to a good start, just pick up your story and continue, you'll do
good.
...and a good start for a first-time submission. However I do agree with previous comments - you would benefit from an editor's assistance with the trickier aspects of grammar, tense and sentence structure. Also perhaps a little more research is in order - both with your nautical terms (left and right on a ship are referred to as port and starboard) and your setting ( I assume you meant you would be sailing the Mediterranean and not the Meditation). I'm off to read your second chapter - please keep writing :)
Really great read! love the story concept as well. Now off to read chapter 2.
Liked the idea, but found all those grave mistakes in the story a bit distracting. The Sea south of Europe is the Mediterranean (not the Mediation) and you have to sail the Nile up (not down) to get to the Dead Sea. But the flawed geography isn't that serious.
What's worse: if your main character really had studied Ancient Civilisations, she would never describe Freya as a sex goddess or call the Fates goddesses at all (because they weren't, neither in Norse nor in Greek nor in Roman mythology).
I won't get started on the typos...
I'm sorry, I certainly sounded discouraging. But don't worry: you have a great deal of imagination and a vivid style of writing. If you find someone to edit, your story will be great!
When going from one point of view to another make sure to clarify which character it is.