by the_black_male
...killed my ability to enjoy the story. You need an editor. Please! "You're" instead of "your", "too" instead of "two", missed punctuation, repeated sentences (not done for effect) such as "/I have been her loyal servant for one hundred years/. You can take my place or die. /I have been her loyal servant for one hundred years/" and too many others to point out. Gotta tank it.
alright i got a bit confused in the end. its not a bad story but i can't say its a good one either.