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Selling Myself Jeff's Complaint

byMandy01©
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Comments (41)
by Anonymous

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by Harddaysknight11/02/10

That was a very believable ending.

I am sure many readers will worry that there is a full reconciliation coming and know fear. That was impossible, given her actions. This was a satisfactory solution. Hate and revenge are not things to keep you warm years down the road. Well done.

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by Britease11/02/10

Very plausible indeed

Another nice little story Amanda. You have a way of coming up with endings that are somehow just right for the situation, and I do love happy endings! Keep them coming.

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by dave_magic11/02/10

What do you expect!

Sometimes readers here, criticize and look for things that are not to be. Reading is still the best way to learn what life has and what could be. Sharing of ideas and emotions is what hollywood does, sometimes they HIT the mark, sometimes not.

StoryTelling is about ones thoughts and shared emotions, without writers there would be not movies.

This story was a departure in telling of a couples destroyed life and how they somehow got it together for themselves individually. Cruel but factual, life goes on and the writer hit the MARK. Thank you sharing a wonderful piece.

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by OldHideki11/02/10

Very realistic resolution.

I think Michelle realized that Katie was the reason that she wasn't being booted to the curb. Even though there wasn't going to be any sex, she figured out that Katie needed to be part of Jeffrey's life. Jeff could not ever expect to get the complete package in one woman, because he would be wary of her pulling the same crap that Katie did. So, instead of finding one woman that he could actually spend the rest of his life with, he was left not trusting any woman completely. Jeff is still a mess, but he found a solution that he can live with.

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by hindsight202011/02/10

better than the original.

I did not like the original. But this ending make that story better.

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by dangerouslydead11/02/10

Heartwarming

A good story overall. It was tough to hate any of the characters when the story ended. A commendable effort.

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by jasonnh11/02/10

Very good

I wondered if this was working toward a reconciliation and I am glad to see how it ended. It shows a strong guy doesn't need to be an asshole. Jeff stood up for himself and rained destruction on everyone involved in the prostitution ring. That was great. Katie, at that time was an idiot. Women who screw around and say it wasn't important are convicted by their own actions; they keep it secret. If it was OK, and no big deal they would feel free to talk about it. He knew about her health care job. That was OK. he didn't know about her being a prostitute because that really wasn't OK.

When Katie got her head out of her ass it became OK for Jeff to treat her like a human being again and he proceeded to do so. I worried that he was going to get screwed in some way but Katie's recovery and repentance was real. Because Jeff allowed himself to act as a good person he was released from the prison of resentment he had placed himself in and was able to build a good relationship with Michelle. Good begets good. It was a painful process but it ended well for all that deserved happiness. No dumb leaps. No magic reconciliations. Good work.

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by Harryin VA11/02/10

actually FWIW I liked it... a LOT

In the end ...all that we are is what we carry with us and hold onto.

Yes there is something a bit noble about jeff. Although this was 4 pages long IMO the author should of spent a bit more time in the story about how over the 3 years he was still living in partial emotional turnmoil and agony.

that after his desire to get revenge and justice... all 100% justified mind you-- there was still the hurt because every day something remind him.

Letting her fade away and die would tear him up b/c he never would of gotten past IT-- what happened. It would of sent shock waves into their daughters and families FOREVER.

For these reason I think that the partial reconciliation is a good thing as long as it was not sexual.

a Good and very human -- in the good way -- story

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by incestor00711/02/10

liked it

this was different from your other, continuation. When we try to continue someone else's story, we should not change actual characters. Changing everyone means you are writing a different one, but you can always change action of only one character, which indicates what would you do if you were the Character. Let your modified character do what you really want to do in that situation, and let others do what you expect from them from original story. If you change any character according to your ending, then you are trying to play god, changing there behavior (magic). In this story you controlled only Jeff and that you handled the story from his side. that is what makes it very good effort. Please continue writing. There are many Unfinished stories on Lit, many of us would like to see end. But again like you handled this one, (not playing God for everyone). Thanx

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by Mongo83711/02/10

Not bad

It was a reasonable end and to a large degree , everybody won and went away with something out of the deal . good writing .

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by Drall11/02/10

Very Well Done.

I enjoyed this. Thank you!

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by RPBPhoto11/02/10

Good Story

I enjoyed your continuation of the original story. It was well written and, as another poster observed, it takes creativity to craft an ending to the original story in which "frontier justice" is served while they all lived happily ever after. Thanks for writing and submitting your story. Bob

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by thespelunker11/02/10

Tears

I have now seen a piece of the lives of this family. I would really like to know them better, an epilogue?

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by Anonymous11/02/10

A strong ending to a weak original

This story had a lot more heart and emotion than the first part. In the first part she was an easy to hate chatacter without remorse, selfish, and frankly not very damn interesting. Just a vehicle to write a sex scene about.

This story actually had characters, not one dimension sex actors. I liked reading it much better.

There clearly could be no reconcilliation. Her acts of betrayal had been too cold and loving,


I'm not sure I really buy the change in her heart however from wife turned whore to whore turned repentant loving woman. I don't think the originals character had it in her. So you wrote a good story, the problem I'd what poor stuff you had to work with from the prior one.

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by KenfromIndy11/02/10

Good story well writen!

I have to agree with other comments well written good flow to the story. My thought is more everybody lost but got something back with no winners and no losers. More like real life! Good characters that came alive for my reading pleasure. In the end my enjoyment of reading is what counts. So mission acomplished! 5 stars

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by demantoid11/03/10

Nice continuation

I thought the first story could have been great, but ultimately I felt disappointment at the lack of the psychological potential, as the story became more of a sex story. Oh what could have been.
This story, by Mandy 1, started out with the same contagion. The heart ailment was weak and really served as unnecessary and not a very believable ruse. The vitriol of the husband was overdone in the beginning as this had gone on for THREE years (the cunt and bitch references,etc.) and I cringed at the Shakespeare reference. Yet when the confrontation finally occurred...wow delicious tension and intensity. Then the next meeting at the picnic table...further great foerplay. I galloped through the rest of this story with wonderful fervor. Great ride! I enjoyed getting into the minds of these characters as well as all their confrontations. My expectations were low, so maybe that might account for liking this better than the first...or maybe I am just neurotic...must be that.

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by Mandy0111/03/10

Epilogue...DOH why didn’t I think of that?

Tara and Beth, both bought Katie a Mother’s day Present the following year.

“You know our girls bought me a present for Mother’s day?”

“No Katie, I had no idea. That is so sweet. You must be jumping for joy!”

“Wait till I show you what they bought me, before you go congratulating me or them.”

Katie brought out her present. “Ohhh, ummm, ohhh dear?”

“Yep, that’s exactly what I thought at the time.” The look on my face must have shown the anguish I felt for Katie. Then Katie broke up. “Before they gave it to me they said that they forgave me for what I did to our family and they called me mom. I was so relieved to hear them say that, that it took some minutes to come to grips with my present.”

“Well...” I scratched my head and wondered what to say. “I don’t know...what can I say?”

We both sat there looking at the object sitting upright on the table. They also said that it was ok, that sexual relief is a part of life, and that they understood that if I needed something to keep me happy, then this is ok by them.”

Katie laughed out loud. "Jeffery Summers, if there’s one thing you will never have to have any doubt about. Those girls are your daughters to a tee!”

"Did it come with batteries?" I inquired. Katie slapped me as she giggled.

What can I say to the readership? Are we happy now?

Thank you each and all for your comments. Since we, the writers don’t get paid for our work, then there has to be a payoff somewhere along the line, and the reader’s comments, whether they be good or bad, as long as they are constructive is what pays for all our effort.

I wasn’t sure how this one would pan out, the original story by Katie was fairly well received, with little or no condemnation for her actions. I felt for poor Jeff, and couldn’t stop from helping him out. I thank Katie for her effort for a good sexy story, and for giving me a reason to write this sequel.

Again thank you for commenting, my pay packet is a good one on this one.

Amanda

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by Pistolpackinpete11/03/10

Unlike original this one full of pathos....

....and partial recon justified less for Harry's reasoning and more for the fact that she had a SINCERE and VERIFIABLE contrition, with scorched earth credentials. Didn't like having to "swallow" her going back into the trade but you made it believable. Damn good job to make me like something this much.

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by RHinSC11/03/10

Good Story

Good story telling. Good ending. Some would show no mercy at all. Need more.

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by Average_Writer11/03/10

Hmmm,,,Welll....

First off a very good, well written story. Yes it was a good read and yes it was a hot and fun in many places.

However, yes there is a however. The ending was a little too much of fairytale to me. Don't get me wrong I liked the ending, hell I have ended some of my stories with the same sort of ending, but having read the first 'chapter' again and now read this one, I can't see anyway that a husband would accept such a person as Katie back into their life, in any shpae of form. Call me an old cynic if you will but that's how I feel.

But, the Romantic side of me likes the ending my cynical side doesn't. But as always you get a top score from me.

By the way which "Inimitable" author says "Life goes on." I know The Wanderer used to and I think Woodmanone and maybe a few others do, but which author did you mean?

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by deadsoon11/03/10

Nice simple plot and good character development makes it a good short story

I don't like cheaters, they cause too much pain. And that pain can last a life time. However, having said that, I like the humanity shown in this story.

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by Anonymous11/08/10

Heck of a good read!

Normally, once a slut is torched, she should remain torched and dead. Hats off to this author for letting this one live.

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by bigchefwayne11/11/10

Well Developed and Believable Story

Your characters come across as real people and the story is neither a complete reconciliation or a burn the bitch story line - both of which would never fit the mental makeup of the characters you developed. Thanks for a great story.

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by RePhil12/21/10

Brilliant writing Mandy

Extremely well crafted story I will be visiting your library as soon as I finish this comment. Write us another one please

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by victoriangent12/21/10

WOW

How did I miss this! I thought I had read everything you had written, but while going through some stories, I came across this. This is not just typical Amanda this is a fine story and well presented even down to the male pov. You are fast becoming an author to be reckoned with.

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by Anonymous05/07/11

Outstanding story!

Well done!

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by Anonymous06/01/11

Yeah, yeah,...

...great story and all that (seriously!), but the big question is, "WHAT THE HECK HAS HAPPENED TO HARRY???

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by Anonymous06/14/11

Good Writing

Man, if what you have written here is true, you have gone through a lot. I have been there and done that. My story is almost exactly like the one you wrote here except my wife ended up killing herself.

I am married now to a good woman but have never fully recovered from what I went through, being lied to and screwed around by a woman that I now realize was mentally ill but that I loved and trusted. It is a hard thing to live with and it goes on forever. She not only destroyed herself with the things she did but she destroyed her daughter and me before killing herself. Then killing herself made it even worse.

Man this story is good writing but it brings back nightmares to me.

Best of luck to you. I hope all is going well in your life now.

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by Anonymous07/20/11

Pathetic and illiterate !!

There is not an iota of creativity anywhere in this sorry excuse of a "story"! it appears to be written by a dyslexic 10y old. One of the worst on this here site !

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by bigguy32309/14/11

I think I have a better ending.....

In their meeting in the park, and after she begged for a chance to reconcile with the daughters, he should have given her this advice:

If you can't stand your life, then end it. I hear that death by hanging is slow, painful and certain. I recommend it to you. Being slow, you'll have time to think about WHY you're dieing. Being painful, you'll appreciate the pain you provided for me and being certain, your problems will be over in about five minutes.

I'll even provide the rope.

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by betrayedbylove02/15/12

Why

I believe Jeff was a little too kind to his ex-whore er I mean ex-wife. He went above and beyond for her. Still a good read.

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by shuttlepilot03/19/12

I don't see

the daughters forgiving her at all. The disappointment, the betrayal is just too much to accept. I could possibly accept the exhusband trying to get her a regular job with someone he knows but I think he went farther than what could be considered logical, plausible, realistic.
I did like the story, though.

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by norcal6209/06/12

Writing style was way too breezy, too casual for the stuff going on.

Can't imagine a male going along with the crap dealt out here.

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by MapleMilk10/06/12

Excellent story.

Katie was not a mean person. She actually wasn't trying to hurt her family. But she lost track of what was important and really screwed up. To me, Jeffery's partial reconciliation years later was reasonable and realistic. Great ending. Thanks for the story.

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by Tavadelphin04/18/13

Nice finish for the original

You kept the tone for both of them I think -

You also added your exceptional wit and understanding of people - you impress me to no end for one so young -

Lot's of turning points, alternate routes etc. but you did your work well and thinking is required -

You do NEED more help editing - to many triple negatives - or "I move then when I moved" or tense type errors where you state and then restart a sentence or section with almost the same words - like you did a cut and paste without the delete first?? or a find and no replace just an add on your word processing program??

Thank you so much for you effort and sharing your work -

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by cantbuymy04/18/13

more of the whore was ok and lil cuckie loves to be remembered as lil cuckie no matter how bag he is. HEY CUCKIE YOUR WIFE WAS MY WHORE! and she did more with me than she ever did with you and loved it! now that is what every hgusband wants to know, YEA RIGHT!

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by Anonymous05/02/13

Nobody wants to buy Cantbuymy--just no bids at all

Great story. Keep writing and ignore the white trash.

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by Anonymous01/08/14

Not bad!

My gut instinct was to leave Katie working in the brothel, the best revenge is a well lived life.

But sometimes compassion is warranted. It may just have been, this time.

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by Anonymous11/11/14

Way to go, Girl.

Mandy, I really enjoyed your story. You are one of the best on this site. I appreciate that you ignore the assholes that comment.

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by Drbeamer333311/24/14

Enjoyed it

an interesting finish that started roughly (harsh), and then ended with a bit of redemption. Well done. Several type-os throughout, but a great story nevertheless.

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by Drbeamer333311/24/14

WTF!

Just read your bio. I know the name indicates your gender, but while reading this I thought for sure you were a guy. That just blows my mind!

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