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The Lady Captains Year Ch. 02

byfawguy88©
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by Anonymous

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by vietvet03/20/11

What a WIMP:

Not good at golf, not good at dancing, not good at making decisions. What is this WIMP good at? WATCHING?

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by Anonymous03/20/11

what's the asshole waiting for before taking some hard decisions??
The second coming!!

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by Anonymous03/20/11

Oh well...

Typos a plenty - too numerous to mention. Skipping back and forth in time one paragraph to the next. Vice Captains playing with themselves or is it a Vice Captain and a Lady Vice Captain paired up.

I realize by choosing to tell your story from your jail cell - you're informing the reader you know how it all came to pass. Yet the telling seems as inexplicable to you as it certainly is to us.

You've got some good bones here - give some muscle, some deeper coherence. State the facts through narrative and dialogue - let them tell the story

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by allsop7203/21/11

lost hope,

to bad i had high hopes you were not a hubby basher but this fellow (when he gets it) is cleaning someone elses leavings... just a also ran wimp cuck story teller...

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