All Comments  for

Wenatchee Ch. 07-08

bycoaster2©
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Comments (70)
by Anonymous

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by BigJohn60103/27/11

Well, if this is the end it was a good one...

Enjoyed the story and even though there was a lover for Joyce, it did end with some closure. Thanks for the submission.

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by digdaddyrich03/27/11

I thought the ending was a bit abrupt

Just when I became comfortable with all of the characters the story is over. Quite a shame.

I wanted to know more about Jana, Red and Anne, and how their lives went forward.

Thanks for the good read and interesting characters, plus a very good plot line.

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by hodunk03/27/11

This isa gtreat story

I loved every word. Coaster2 is one of my favorite authors. Thank You for the story you shared with us.

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by Sidney4303/27/11

Good story

I agree that it ended too abruptly and another chapter could have been added, but I can also see why you ended it where you did.

A minor point, the summit of the Siskiyou Mts. on I-5 is simply called Siskiyou summit. Dunsmuir is about sixty miles south and there is no pass, since it is well down in elevation in the canyon of the upper Sacramento River. I went to HS in that area, so know it well, not trying to be a smart a**.

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by Anonymous03/27/11

It's Me...

...2AM guy. Thanks from me too.

Oh - 5!!!

One thought that came to mind was when Geoff and Joyce got together. I understood her explanation but the lingering feeling was, she never cheated on him, spent 20 years with him, loved him and the boys and yet...no tears or emotions - just, leave me and get on with your lives. That's a bit of departure from probable reality...anyway...

Great story and Thanks - Again!

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by Anonymous03/27/11

A little disappointing...

The story line was good and kept my interest for the most part but I wanted it to end with a bang not a whimper.

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by Anonymous03/27/11

waste

did you Know this site is called Literotica....erotica get it? go put your story in the Saturday Evening Post...erotica get it?

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by bruce2203/27/11

Very Fine Story

With very interesting and well developed characters.

Wow the Saturday Evening Post must have gone through some big changes. Coaster 2 writes extremely well and we thank him for his contributions.

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by C_frommn03/27/11

Mighty Good Writing

Loved the story and how you brought all of the Characters feelings and
Emotions to the fore front. Esp. Geoff and Sons.
Nice Finish too .

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by Anonymous03/27/11

This was a fine story.

Guess some readers wanted the guy to be cuckolded and become a wimp. Sorry for them and their type. This was a top notch tale and hope you post more. If there is any flaming, well, "piss on them." They can just stick with JPB.

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by hawkeye000703/27/11

well...

A lot of people liked this story. I found it flat and anti climatic. I'm not surprised. I tend to disagree with most of the commenters most of the time anyway. There was no real emotion anywhere in the story and I could not like or feel empathy for the husband no matter how hard I tried.

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by BobNbobbi03/27/11

Well done . . .

. . . a nice love story. Maybe in the hinterlands hiring employees brings just the right person with the right skills, personality and temperment to the first interview; it doesn't always happen in the big city in the IT business. Same thing with dates. Every once in a while polyana works as the underlying basis for a story. It has for you Coaster.

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by Vulcan_in_Ohio03/27/11

Joyce is difficult to fathom . . .

Very good and well-written story. I got impatient with the releases on Lit, so I decided to read the entire story on SOL. My only criticism concerning the category of Loving Wives (for Literotica) is that I don't see how it really fits that genre. Joyce did not have an affair, and she was certainly not a "loving wife" in the way she embezzled money and dropped a divorce on her family, with coldness and malice aforethought. I could fathom her behavior if she was going crazy (i.e., bipolar or something). I could also understand it were she having an affair (which would have fit the LW category). But somehow, the idea of a straight housewife, with a family, enough money from a husband with a steady job, and an apparently good job of her own just doesn't compute. Thanks very much for writing this story.

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by looking4it03/27/11

Not a bad story

Did Jana's mother die of cancer or meningitis? Things like that in a story you hope to entertain people with are important to keep track of. I did look forward to each installment and I'm glad they came in a timely manner.

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by Anonymous03/27/11

boring

boring, the story had a good plot but as in most of your stories you try to make the characters to saintly it's like they live in a world that i have never seen and i'm 60 years old. Not to insult you but you don't tell a story very well.

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by Anonymous03/27/11

Too long byhalf, or more

This endless story has sunk under sickening sweet emotions into a bad soap opera. Wait! No! not a soap opera, that has conflict, drama, sex, anger, emotions. None of that in this story. Everybody is sweet, kind, and competent. It is a Thomas Kinkade story. Even in his evil wife, she has no character and a not very credible excuse for what she did.

No conflict, no plot, no story.

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by Anonymous03/27/11

:) :(

I really enjoyed all the build up of parts 1-6 but like some of the others, although i like a happy ending as much as the next person, felt that Parts 7-8 were rather anticlimactic by comparison and the story kind of faded away in what seems a rather hurried sort of childrens story where all the intrigue just disappears and they "all lived happily ever after" (apart from Joyce)!

That said, i still look forward eagerly to your next story! :)

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by Anonymous03/27/11

great story

Quite a interesting story with a number of twists and turns. Thanks for sharing it with us.

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by Anonymous03/27/11

Too much

A lot of words and uninteresting side lines for a rather disappointing lot and end.

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by Anonymous03/27/11

Know your audience. Hint: What is the title of this web site?

This web site is not soap opera digest. It's Literotica. So why do authors write these super long tales of woe that have virtually zero content relating to the theme of the web site? If you fancy yourself a writer of novels, go elsewhere. Sell your story. Make money. The only thing missing in this story, and too many others on this site, is an image of Fabio on the cover. Yes, people have the option to not read the story, but sometimes great stories have a build up and then a steamy finish. The reader has to spend some time reading the story to get to the meat of the matter. So writers on this site do have an obligation to not misrepresent themselves by going elsewhere. In fact, as far elsewhere as possible.

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by MissouriUSA03/27/11

Enjoyed reading the Story!

I think that the story could have been better if we knew more about Joyce on the one hand or if we knew even less on the otherhand. Joyce takes off. Ok, forget about her and focus on Geoff moving forward with his life. The way the story was written, the parts where Joyce is referenced or otherwise included in the story line were just distractions that added very little.

Since Joyce and her motivations had been a mystery throughout the previous chapters, the meeting with her at the end just seemed kind of shallow. It felt like it was thrown in because it is standard procedure in these stories to have such a scene. Don't get me wrong I enjoy these confrontation scenes in most cases. This one was a just a "dud". Joyce seemed too "matter of fact" about the whole episode. "Ok, I screwed up, my bad. Sorry about that. Tell my folks, my sons and the rest of my family to have a good life. Now leave me alone." Ironically, having the meeting with Joyce in the story here made the ending seem rushed to me.

But I appreciate Coaster2's efforts and we look forward to his next offering.

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by hawkeye000703/27/11

cold hearted

Joyce was a cold hearted bitch who held out on her husband and children for years. Her explanation at the end of the story was complete bullshit. No woman who truly cared about her husband and children would do what she did. To kiss the lying bitch at the end made the husband an absolute wuss and asshole. I don't see how he could have been married to this monster and not have a clue. To be a supposedly smart man, he was brain dead. Now that I consider the merits of this story, 2 stars was too much!

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by Anonymous03/27/11

wow

I guess you should look up the word erotic because this tale is rather a police story than anything else

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by The Navigator03/27/11

Nice read

Technically well done. Captured this reader's interest. Interesting story line. As usual with this author, interesting background details. But at the end, it just seemed to run out of gas and died.

Reflecting on the story, we never really knew Joyce. Hiding her income and stealing from her employer because of greed just did not fit what we knew about her. If she were using the money as blackmail payoff because she had been caught in bed with the governor's wife, it would have made more sense than doing it just for greed. The greedy person has an appetite the greed must feed. Joyce did not, as far as we knew her.

Also, in real life, when you take a bunch of people connected by employment or family ties, not EVERY one of them is a straight arrow able to walk on water. In this story, they all were too perfect. Not very realistic.

Finally, it certainly did not fit in Loving Wives. It would have been more appropriate in Non-Erotic.

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by Deckview03/27/11

The start was a good hook, but the rest really wasn't much related..

Really two stories: 1) beginning and end, and 2) the middle story. So didn't do much for me.... No real mystery being solved.

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by Anonymous03/27/11

Much enjoyed the story

jebsdad (Jerry in Washington state, USA) - I "cheated" and finished reading your story yesterday on SOL, not realizing you would complete the story by today. I enjoyed the plot as a different kind of "cheating wife" - her being seduced by greed rather than a human lover. I was surprised that the theft and trying to protect herself and her family from her crime was the reason she wanted a divorce and left. She will definitely pay for her greed, but so will her family, even if her parents, inlaws, husband, and children find a way to move on. Still a well written story that I'm glad I had the chance to read.

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by Anonymous03/27/11

good story

I LOVED THE STORY,CARRIED ME ALL THE WAY THRU. ITS A CRAZY WORLD AND WHAT SEEMS NORMALLY TO MOST IS TWISTED BY SOME. WHY STEAL WHEN EVERYTHING IS GOING RIGHT. BUT IT ALWAYS SEEM TO HAPPEN IN SOME CASES. THE POLITICIAN WHO MAKE A HUDGE SALARY SEEMS TO ALWAYS WANT MORE AND MORE DOESNT MAKE ONE HAPPY

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by SELSTIM03/27/11

It was good

but I was expecting more, given the build up in the first six chapters. It really grabbed my attention but then the ending was too abrupt. I just sat there staring at the word "END" thinking the end of the first half or what. You had so many different avenues that this story could have taken to make it so much more exiciting, especially with your writing skills. Joyce's explanation just didn't make any sense as far as her motivation for stealing the money given her twenty year history with her family. Very disapointing ending. You dropped the ball on the forty yard line with a clear field ahead of you. It could have been an easy score. Great writing, bad ending, two stars.

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by jasonnh03/27/11

OK ending

Too much time is spent on dealing with Joyce. I almost stopped reading but thankfully you stopped (mostly). After all she did it makes no sense that she is such an anchor on his emotions. Also, he says he wants to honor his vows but then breaks them anyway to sleep with Giselle. I'm glad he did. It should have happened a lot sooner with a lot less fuss.

Look how he handles his business. He is VERY proactive and aggressive. He is also a risk taker. He hired Jana even though she didn't interview well. He hired Red even though he was coming off alcoholic rehab. In every other aspect of his life he is a doer. I could buy that he might not have been looking to date right away but once Giselle was in his life a man like him would not have been timid or slow.

Most of the time spent on Joyce would have been better allocated to the ending. I would have been more interested in their business becoming more successful and more erotic encounters with Giselle. It is supposed to be erotic literature not a Lonely Hearts Club. We went through 4 installments and I think there was only ONE sex scene.

Also, since the time WAS spent on Joyce her conversion back to being a reasonable person makes little sense. Protecting hubby and the boys sounds noble but from what? They weren't involved with her theft. She had her money separate. He would have been questioned but would have been cleared quickly. The boys were at no risk at all. Flailing back and forth between a stone cold bitch and a caring person isn't rational.

However, besides the character hiccups, I found the story very readable. I would suggest you need to work on keeping your characters consistent. If a guy needs to be a bit wimpy to fit the overall plot you have to build that into his character. Not make him a Superman and then expect him to stumble over his own feet to fit the story.

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by Anonymous03/27/11

Thank You

Thank you for this story. I am sitting here, watching my life fall apart, with a woman who I thought was my soul mate. Not understanding what happened. This story allows me a bit of soul searching into not only what is going on, but my own feelings of the heart and soul. And that there will be a light at the end of all this. Not sure what it will be, but it does remind me of the old saying, w/o rain, one can not enjoy rainbows.

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by chytown03/27/11

A Fine Piece!!!!!!

Of writing what a great read!! Thank You!!!

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by xtremedd03/28/11

You sick puppy... built up an intense plot and then ......... let us down easy.

c,

This story, could go on? Just for the hell of it. There is more to play out. You must have had fun writing it because I certainly did reading it. Great writing.

Thanks for sharing on Lit!


x

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by Anonymous03/28/11

more

hatw to see such a good story end, hope there is more to it!!!!!!!!!

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by Anonymous03/28/11

I have to agree...

... The ending of this one wasn't as strong as others you've done. A good story, but the end could be better.

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by Anonymous03/28/11

Phrase for Part I

The phrase that was used to describe Part I of this series says it best.

"An abrupt end to what was supposed to be a good story."

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by Anonymous03/28/11

I Disagree

I don't agree that the story ended abruptly. It provided closure to the primary focus of the story.

I also disagree with some that say this site is only for erotic stories. This was a well written tale. However, I do agree that the non-erotic genre would be most appropriate.

I enjoyed this story just like I have enjoyed most of your stories.
Well done and thanks!

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by Anonymous03/31/11

hope

I hope you have'nt abanded this story yet! i have read all and had to go back many pages on lit. to find this, and would like to see a few more chapters! they were comming so fast (daily) that I thought they would go till the end! maybe mind block ha!

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by Anonymous04/12/11

Well-written!

I enjoyed this story. I thought the characters were well-developed and the plot was interesting. I was hoping for some explanation of how and why his wife went off the rails, and greed certainly suffices. I'm looking forward to reading some other coaster2 stories!

[Gualterio]

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by Pistolpackinpete05/11/11

Joyces behavior was otherworldly and....

...without valid premise, the 40 somethings spoke as if they were 70 something and what tension existed dissipated in the fog of his WAY too soon new love interest. You've written much better but thanks for the read.

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by FD4505/14/11

Boring boring boring

I kept waiting for a money shot, where passions went wild, where there was a show down. Something! I happen to like Loving Wives stories because of the passion. Not of inserting Tab A into Slut B, but the emotions.

This...was a story. It was a good story. But if I have to work to complete it, then it's work, not fun.

That being said, it was a quality story. Well written, some research was done. I give it a three.

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by Anonymous05/14/11

cold to contrite?

There was this and her acting made her eligible for some acting award. The apology should be taken in a similar light. He better off and the jail noises and color orange work for her.

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by tazz31709/29/11

THE BEST THOUGHT PLANS

only work if it is planned good. TK U MLJ LV NV

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by betrayedbylove03/22/12

Disappointing

Went thru the entire series looking for the payoff that wasn't there. It could be worse.
she stole and lied but never cheated. That has to mean something. At least to somebody. I don't give a fuck. I just wasted time reading the whole series for what?
Oh well, it is what it is.

If you read comments first, don't waste your time.

HA

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by count2three05/01/12

I completely agree with the others: Disappointing.

Part of the problem is that the Author misleads the Reader. e.g. by placing it in the 'Loving Wifes' Category, part because the chapter descriptions suggest a dynamic and a tension that in the actual is never materialised. Which is the other part of the problem: The Story is just plain boring.
How a boring Story like that ever got in the 'Hot' Category I dont know. There is just a very frightening silent audience on literotica that for example votes cuckold stories in the 'Hot' region as well.
Than of course there's the generell problem that, yes there was a wife, but come on this story had really nothing to do with the 'Loving Wifes' Category. Just change 'Business Partner' for 'Wife' and the core of the story would be exactly the same.

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by Anonymous05/01/12

Misled the Reader?

Not all readers are such fragile, confused little people that they can't handle a twist on a category. I wish some of these category Nazis would point us to the page on this site where it says "All Loving Wives stories have to be just like this..."

Coaster, you're one of the best writers on this site. You aren't writing for the whiners to begin with, and it's pretty clear that a whole lot of readers like your work a lot. Keep it up!

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by Anonymous05/03/12

Reread

Liked it again! 5 stars, thank you for writing.

tom anon

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by Drbeamer333308/15/12

Overall, very good

Once his wife admits tht she filed for divorce basically because she loved him and the kids and didn't want to see them hurt because of her crime, how could he not forgive her? 20 years of marriage and he is too hurt to take her back? Hurt from what? It was all a ploy to protect the ones she loved. She was hiding the money for him. I'm not sure I understand his response. It was a very surprising twist - her explanation, that is. I thought it was brilliant. I just don't think his reaction is authentic. He went there to make sure he was over her, to get closure. Given her explanation, I don't see how closure was possible.

If she had told him she was a spy working for the government and had to fake the divorce and flee the country to protect them, would he have been more understanding? Twenty years of love thrown away quite easily. All because she committed a crime that will only cost her 3 years in jail. It is unfortunate that so many of these stories end in similar fashion.

Again, I liked the writing, loved the twist at the end, but don't understand the end.

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by tazz31708/15/12

#2 THIS TRUE FICTION TALE

really upgrades the law enforcement home security people. Usually they cant catch a cold running barefoot in the snow with a wet head, TK U MLJ LV NV p/s all the stars didnt lite up mlj

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by Tavadelphin02/07/13

The category is right - where else??

The ending is as strange as some of the rest pof the story so no surprise there either -

But - the explanation seems just too simple - possible I guess but too simple.

As for the forgive and forget route?

Forgive sure - let it go and he has -

Forget - not a chance - best intentions and all do not excuse the treatment - if she was protecting them and loved them and she was still stoopid enough to do all this - write a letter leave it behind so they know they are as loved as it might seem - behave like she actually gave a damn when she demanded the divorce - once he fought back - lot's of ways other than betray them and run.

The author got it right - she fucked up, she knew it, she decided her rosy future was better than her family love and life - she lost move on -

It works

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by cliffhanger2003/27/13

I WASN'T GOING TO COMMENT

But the FBI and other agencies could not find a fuck in a whore house.

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