by TheWriter
U drove her out of her mind just have well killed her. Make U happy does it?
I'm a girl (seems to matter to some people here), and I kinda like the story. I like wondering who she was before this (self-righteous?) and who has done this to her (for her?).
I would have liked to see the ending a little cleaner, a little more hemmed. Other than that, it wasn't a bad read.
Beginning
Middle
End
This "story" had none of this. How about taking the images in your head and using words to describe them in the form of a story?
Read about a quarter of the story and quickly came to the conclusion that this story was just crap.
I like it. I don't think a story needs a beginning, middle, end or even clear cut characters to work. I came in about 5 minutes (rare for me).
You have a nice style, keep up the good work
An exploration of the extreme. I admire your bravery, and your writing.
Its certainly an unorthodox format and an extreme story, which makes it understandable that many or most may not appreciate it, but I think this was very well written. Its unapologetic in its content and the structure is somewhat hypnotically poetic.
A very artistic story.
As a writer myself, I know that true stories don't need a beginning, middle, and end. That's just the crap they teach the kids at school to put a little structure into their lives.
Writing great stories isn't a skill that can be gained through learning structures and rules. It can only be gained through practical experience.
See, I didn't quite get the end though. I thought of it as confusing. :)
Whether I fully comprehend this story's meaning or not, and even though I'm not sure I enjoyed this story, you are an excellent writer
I have mixed feelings. First, I must say I don't see the reason for so much hate in the comments. Now for my opinion... I found the story to be rather interesting, and by that I mean that I read it all the way through because I wanted to know what happens next. I don't try to judge it as something it isn't, though - it has no plot or even structure, but its a short flick and doesn't really need all of that.
I found the narration to be too awkward for me. It's interesting in its own way, but I can't say the story made me horny or seemed very erotic.
It would be better if the machine did other things too.
Theres a clear beginning middle and end. The beginning is resistance, the middle is gradual acceptance and the end is her fully accepting / enjoying the machine. I thought it was great. If you're seriously mad about this piece, keep masturbating until you're not
Five stages of grief, yes? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance