All Comments on 'Telepath King Ch. 01'

I enjoyed the story, but please please please either proofread and/or learn the difference between

"your" and "you're"

"its" and "it's"

Just like "ALL" authors, you need a proof reader. Someone besides yourself can catch these small errors. You are not the first, and won't be the last, to make these errors. Have a friend, or another Literotica Author, read your story first before publishing it.

Can't wait to see where you go with this story.

RG

Dont listen to them. nobody cares about small errors. waiting for ch 2

Make up your mind!

People do not talk the way you make them talk. Also, English grammar does not work the way you think it does.

Both these things are jarring. It's hard to enjoy a story (and impossible to "enjoy" a story) when your head's tipped to the side and you're thinking "WTF am I reading, here?"

Just for reference, you came up with a *flimsy* reason for a suicide. Not believable at all. People tend to suicide over shame or despair, not heartbreak, and certainly not hate. So learn to emote.

My first foray into submissions was Jack's Women. I tried to take what I heard(in the comments) and fix it here. The grammatical errors. Didn't do that well I guess, still doing the same thing. Sorry. I'm not perfect.

Some of you that read, well all of you, thanks for having an interest in what I write. It's all for me(the writing), and thought I'd like to share it. Grammar aside, is the story good? I know some parts of it may not seem realistic, but it's not supposed to be. I'm not going for awards with my writing, that would be nice, but not my goal. I just want to write something that is interesting.

I appreciate the pats on the back and even the scoldings. I don't mind being told that it sucks, try again. I just want to know if it kept you interested, get you excited, made you cream your jeans so to speak.

I will try better with the grammar side of it. Thanks for reading and commenting!

I'm a little in between on this one. I liked it even thought I was slightly hurt by the nigger bitch comment (I've been called that before).

I think I'm in between because it was just part one and I need more of the story. I will continue one and I hope the next few parts are as good.

To a previous comment, he was referring to how much of his cock was inside the woman's mouth or pussy. The males penis size didn't change.

This brought back memories...

I'm turning 30, but when I was 17, thought I had it all, loving family, friends a girl who loved me for me and I was doing something I loved and got paid to do it!

Then well ppl die, girl betrayed me with my Best friend... I was that guy!

And NY, two older ladies late at night did the same thing... without the telepathy bit...

I actually started crying over this!

In a word I'm HOOKED!

Therre just way to much nick names, and saying u love them after only 30mins or hour is way to much.

Halfway through, I had to re-read the title if I was reading the story I thought I was. :)

Looking forward to the next chapter.

me too

1: the constant miss use of your (your leg) and you're (you are).

'You're" is a contraction of "you are". 'Your" is possessive - I.e. "your slave". Too often you use "you're" instead of "your".

This is a very good story. Detailed and well put together. I look forward to reading into this series.

Her lips were puffed out like a "Nigger Bitch"? Did you believe since it was a story of fiction, blacks would not be offended?

Argh!! As per earlier comments, learn the difference between your & you’re, plus I can’t believe the “N word” reference you used in this, along with the fact the damn title gives the plot away!