All Comments  for

Sybian Engineer 10

byBeatnic_jazzman©
All
Comments (5)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Beatnic_jazzman10/22/11

Question.

Ten points for those that spotted the anagrams in the first chapter.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/01/13

you lost focus

afraid to go outside
being followed by an unknown car,
problem with her father
buying the company
supervisor with an issue
shall I keep going with unfinished issues?
you did not need to bring Gracie in
where is the baby?
so many streams, so few conclusions
btw: where is the Symbian?
DISAPOINTING finish

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/08/13

I'd love for you to finish this story.

I've enjoyed it very much, and if you could wrap it up, that would give closure.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/11/13

Wrap it up please

Yes I agree please conclude this story some time soon if only to give us all some relief!?!?

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by mick195302/11/13

Good going (so far)

You have not lost too much by the absence of an editor in the last few chapters. The errors have been trivial enough to not be distracting. You should take this story on for quite a few more chapters, vs. "wrapping it up." However, a little more narrative drive would be welcome.
This could be a good novel, but you need to quit dropping characters like they have become stale crackers. What of the Maid? The Father? The ominous shadow vehicle? For that matter, is he ever going to give her the fucking ring? I would also like to see Francis confronting his former employer.
You have created an interesting story; you should explore it fully, even at the expense of some sex scenes. At times, the sex scenes almost seem formulaic, as though there is a metric that you are following (e.g., sex scene at no less than 800 and no more than 1200 words. The threesome storyline seemed a bit contrived at this point in the relationship- I could easily accept it perhaps a month further on.
That is not to criticize your sex scenes: they are generally well done.
I do hope that you come back to this series; I much prefer it to your other major series.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Sybian Engineer 10  or
More submissions by Beatnic_jazzman.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel