All Comments on 'The Target Ch. 04'

this story is really getting good. Short chapters are not an issue due to your fast posting.

Very interesting twists :o)

The plot is ridiculous, even for a porno. Slow down! And why are these two assassins so dimwitted?

I have to be honest, I think you could use the help of an editor. if I were beta reading for you I'd point out the following...I just am having trouble reading this. I'm frustrated b/c these supposed assassins are acting like less than amateurs. It's almost painful. Jackie is supposed to disappear to prevent 'the mob' from finding he is alive. Yet, Roman leaves him in his apt. Then picks him up in broad daylight and takes him to his place. He has a home with a shitty lock. Jackie has a bad feeling but just curls up asleep AGAIN with no protection. I just find it to be silly at this point. They are pitiful when it comes to 'dealing with the underworld.' A normal person using common sense would do better at protecting themselves/the person they want to keep alive. I can't imagine this kid working as an assassin. It just doesn't fit and even Roman, who you think has more experience, is acting irresponsibly. I just wish you would make them more like assassins. Make Jackie's ex-lover actually have to work for it a little! I have to be honest, I am not sure if I will keep reading b/c it is just seeming too unrealistic. I think maybe an editor or beta reader (someone reading a draft and concentrating on pointing out issues in the general story rather than making small grammatical/spelling, etc errors. I hope you can see this as an attempt to help rather than an attack.

BEST STORY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im in love with you for making this story! Dont listen to these assholes, cause i dont see them writing shit. Keep them coming babe!

I agree 100% with cannd, the storyline is unusual and that is OK - but your assassins - they are laughable in their unprofessional behavior and a good assassin always would listen to his feelings - which neither of them seems to be doing... so think again before sending out a new chapter - quality not quantity is what is needed. We readers are no fools and by having read very good stories with brilliant authors like Jazz Cullen, Whitesabretooth, Mokkelke and several more we have become used to a certain standard, which You unfortunately have not reached so far!

If Jackie's a virgin, why does he have a former lover?

U don't ve to sleep with everybody u date but @ d same time dis sex theme nd scenes doesn't really make sense..be more imaginative, u re a writer.

cant you try and get it finished i am chewing my nails off.? what city is this set in.? i could do with a gay hitman... maybe he could empty a few rounds up my ass. i could do with a good bang so to speak lol......

Keep up the good work!! Can't wait to see what happens next!! Hurry up and let the next chapter come out please!!! I want to know what happens to Jackie!!!

Where is the rest? This is really hot. I thought Jackie was a virgin? So how is he the mystery assassin's ex lover? Are you going to finish? Something this good should not go to waste. 5 STARS!!!