by BeachOnTheRox
A much better story than the score shows. I gave you 5 stars. Keep writing author and I'll keep reading.
Mike.
Mmmmmm
Is nice to think I am not the only woman in the world that finds her daughters man rather appealing !!!!
Will give me plenty to think about in bed tonight. (alone unfortunately.....not like my lucky daughter !!!). Naughty me.
What you have here is a good start. I do not understand why we have gutted the back story. Just because Twitter has a word limit, doesn't mean stroies have to be the same way.
Lets look at few things.
1 the stories that have been voted higher, are long enough to get emotionally involved in or connected to in some way
2 the stories that have higher votes you at least get to know one of the main characters. you might not like them, but you get to know them
3 This story is like watching one of those porn ads that constantly loop, if you want them to or not. It's quick, dirty, and graphic If that is what you were aiming for, then you hit your mark
I guess it might just be me, but I come here to read the erotic, not the pornographic.
You have talent, you can develop a good story. You have the tools, now it is time to fine tune what you have.
But, that is just my opinion. Keep writing and good luck.
Myhands316
I agree with Mike; the story is much better than the scores you've gotten would indicate. Please don't wait to long in posting your next story; I am eagerly waiting to read it.
Rob
I agree that the build up could have been drawn out more but it was still very enjoyable. Keep it up.
You know where to find me! :+))
In your future stories, I recommend making the male more likable.
This guy is too self-involved.
More about controlling than pleasing her?
Ladies First!
I gave you five stars. That was a very hot sexy story. I wish I could write that good, and get into the sex that quickly. Sad to say my stories are a little more drawn out. But this isn't about me.
keep up the good work. I hope to read many more of your stories in the future.
bigcarl796
Really enjoyed your story and I hope there is a part two. Or a next time. I am going to fuck my wife like he did in his story tonight. Thanks for the inspiration . Just sent it to her also so we can both enjoy it. A little fantasy always gets us going.
My wife wanted to fuck our daughter's boyfriend and long time friend. I tried all I knew to try to get her to do it. When we had sex I'd ask her don't you wish this was J dick in you fucking you. She never hesatated to say o yes & then start fucking really hard. Who knows she might of have fucked him . I hope so & someday she will tell me.
Your story was well told and competently written. Because of the subject matter, it would have been difficult to make this event happen with much more buildup in character development or otherwise as so many seem to want. I enjoyed the story and would certainly look forward to another submission you might write. Good work and please share more of the teasingly introduced true stories you want to tell us.
i love a younger man that knows how to take an older wonan!
I rarely award a piece 5 stars but this one thoroughly deserves it. Very well written and to the point, not to mention deliciously hot and filthy.
Hope to see more of your writing. X
In the early 1980's I was in the Caulfield Football Club dressing rooms and saw hot boy Rod Morrison in the buff he had what I call a chest fro which is a chest smothered in thick ringlets cof jet black curly hair and a mouth watering bulging jet black hairy thick uncut cock
Good story. Would have liked it better if he came in her pussy, after she told him she was fertile just to excite him (she really wasn't), and then she whispers, "Are you enjoying breeding a mature woman?"
Old. No update? Next and last chapter. Michael fucks Ms. D and Kyra together at the same time.