All Comments  for

Kate on the Lawn

byMoonlightRumRat©
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Comments (6)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous08/12/12

yes, good one here; bring on some other stories and included a facial each time

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by Anonymous09/22/12

You certainly show potential. I'm not usually a fan of first person narrative, but as hot as this is I'm willing to overlook it. I really liked this little story. Especially the sexual tension bit, with Kate's initial reluctance building up to a sudden explosion of emotions. There seemed to be a conflict going on in Kate's mind, her inner slut battling with her pride, which served to make the finale that much more satisfying. I'd love a prequel to this, and there is definitely room for sequels as well. If you focus on Kate rather than yourself, fleshing out that conflict in her, I think this could turn into a great piece of erotica. And if you make slutty Kate win the inner battle and wallow in her all consuming lust, you have your fist fan. Either way, solid first story. Cheers.

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by StarStarBaby11/25/12

Lovely

This was an awesome story. I loved how you wrote it, the facial part was the best

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by Anonymous12/24/12

Amazing stuff

Great writing, is it possible you could write about Kate again?

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by Anonymous02/14/13

Great story, a little on the short side, but not lacking at all for that. Well written, and I to loved the sense of emotional conflict you put into Kate. And the build up with that to the facial part, excellent work. Keep writing like this, and you'll have a fan here.

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by Anonymous06/15/14

Everyone Dreams of This

Hell, I would kill anyone just to touch her tits, much less fuck her.

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