by susanwr
There are writers in Lit who can spin a good tale, and you know it is entirely fiction.
Here SusanWr, I do sincerely believe you are trying to confess [or boast] of something you have experienced yourself.. Why? Because your words do not follow the formula and have several inexplicable aspects.
On the other hand, if this really Is from your fertile imagination, then for a first-timer, I say " Well Done". [and hope you're not part timing as a steak-house person]
Cheers, and whichever way, Thanks for the Tale
Kilroy.
Your writing isn't bad technically, but what is missing is any context. It seemed like it was: I saw a guy I was attracted to. He was attracted to me. We fucked. He left.
Not a lot of anything else going on. I hope you keep writing.
no motives, no emotions, no character building - it all makes the story fall flat.
my wedding vows didn't mean crap. All that matters is me. So then I pissed all over my relationship with my husband. Big deal. So then I saw his big dick and it was alright to fuck another man because my husband has a smaller penis. All that matters is me. I felt good because Robert could go on and on. So then I just went and let the adulterous whore inside me out because I would have the memory of a "night filled with lust". besides it really doesn't matter how my husband feels. All that matters is me. And on and on and on..... What a complete load of shit!
The format is terrible. ALL narration...nary a word of dialogue. Mostly present tense...kinda works if the realistic passage of time coincides with the reading time, but not optimal even then! The early part pretty much reads like a 'What I Did On My Business Trip' paper for the CEO!
I Hope this is the only story you write, BECAUSE IT WAS A VERY BIG TOTAL SHIT>
Forgot to mention. Leave OFF the last paragraph (and maybe a dozen or so before that!). So everything is great for you because the Bull leaves the company and the area AND gets into an auto accident that destroyed his memory and his speech! (Extrapolating on last phrase, sorry - kinda!) Happy ending at any cost!
I am curious on HOW you even speculated that this MIGHT work out in 'a positive way for our marriages' !?! Whether Bull stays or leaves!
Last quibble on ultimate paragraph...It sounds like you DID feel the need for a little 'strange' before this Magic Ménage. But you claimed earlier to NOT want that (until it became an option!) - so Sweetie not feeling that need NOW seems to mean 'until another chance comes up!'
I was wanting her to have a long and very sexual affair with the young stud and be able to keep it hidden from her husband for many years.
Thanks for the read.
The woman cheats and oh the guy is younger and surprise surprise he has a bigger more beautiful cock . But she is faithful except she cheats. A disgusting attempt to justify fucking around. She just a middle aged woman who can't or won't zip it.
As the other story this week ,old cunt young stud with big cock what a waste.
No idea why people say such unkind things in their comments. You describe your lust and pleasure. Good luck to you. We all have fantasies. Some fulfil them, some don't have the need, courage, self confidence or whatever to cross the line. I like reading about sex from a woman's perspective. Thanks for writing. Write more. Tell us your stories please.
" We all have fantasies. Some fulfil them, some don't have the need, courage, self confidence or whatever to cross the line."
You're fucking kidding, right? This isn't a fantasy. This is an abomination. A fucking self-centered WHORE betrays her husband, her marriage promise and every vestige of integrity because her cunt gets an itch. Susanwr, if this is a fantasy, PLEASE get some psychiatric help. If it is a 'confession' then just get out of your marriage and let the poor fellow you've betrayed rebuild his life with a woman who will not stab him in the back!
Great story, was thinking about my wife of 50 doing the same thing! Hot stuff
You did a really nice job with this story. It feels very genuine, which is a turn-on. Very hot, and I hope you continue to write more!
It felt so authentic. I got totally hard just reading it. Hope you have some more experiences to share.
but the wife was just another big cock hunting cheating fucking cunt who now had pulled one over on a husband who appears to be completely faithful. so the cheating bitch will always fondly remember how she was a slut for another man who was better at fucking than her husband was. cunt will cheat again. that is the character you described.
good story- I'm not a great writer but I would suggest you proof read your next story as I think better word flow would make it more erotic! a '5' anyway!!
jkthekat
I would love to have a dollar for every time this action took place when on business trips...5 stars
There is something appealing about the way this cheating wife's thoughts are portrayed - naïve, lustful and honest. She's a cheater, though, and a rather feckless cheater at that.
My problem is that the only element in the telling of this cocktale that resembles the necessary element of tension is not exactly worthy of note. Why? She is cheating on her husband. There needs to be a locus of tension here being fleshed out. Maybe her small dick husband is terrified of her cheating one day. They have discussed it and she has dismissed him lovingly. At the same time, those very discussions awaken her libido and a thick rogue cock begins to stalk her libidinous flights of fancy, ha ha. Anything.
Yeah. Some say : the bird is the word. I say Tension is the word.
You definitely have some promise as a writer but you need to let us in to your characters' thought processes and let the tension develop through some inner conflict or other, something that your readers can relate to.
No real story here, just a well written romantic lead up, and then a sex scene.
feels different about your lust, what did he do when he found out. You did throw it in his face one night during an argument, right? Most cheaters do you know.
the way personal details were interwoved with the sex make the story "come alive'
Two sluts in play this day.
Slut wife and a mentally challenged author.
Nice bio, by the way. As barren as you likely are.
Your story needs proofreading and editing. There were a lot of missing words.
Others have commented on the content and I have nothing to add to their remarks.
Twelve years later people are still reading your story. Well done. Hope you're still writing somewhere.