All Comments on 'Daddy's Dirty Buttslut Act 11'
by Neon_Ultra
- 14 Comments
Anonymousover 11 years agoSecond person, direct address to the reader, is a very poor and very annoying way to write. It is a mistake for which unpolished writers are notorious. Write in either the third person (preferred) or the first person. NEVER speak directly to the ready. You are not a friend conversing with him over dinner, you are a narrator and you are telling him a story in the past tense. AnHoa Rifleman
Anonymousover 11 years agowelcome back.....
need more variety on buttfucking...... maybe move from implied scat to the real stuff? Your stories are HOT.... keep going!
Neon_Ultraover 11 years agoAuthorFirst - thanks Anonymous #1 - there will be more variety to come, but I'm afraid that will there will be signfiicantly dirtier chapters including stuff some people might call scat, there won't be any actual shit-play or coprophilia.
Neon_Ultraover 11 years agoAuthorSecondly - Anonymous #2 - thanks for the constructive criticism. However, I am not sure I agree in this context. I write non-erotic fiction which is extremely different both in style and substance to my porn writing (I'd hardly dare to call something so obscene and shallow erotica), and in that I certainly wouldn't use second person. This is not serious fiction though, this is me writing to get people off. If I think 'you' might help in that instance, I want to use it - my inspiration being partly from the POV used in choose-your-own-adventure gamebooks. I have never stated my intentions in how I write so I don't begrudge you your opinion and I am happy to receive it, but I do wish any formality in my porn writing, I do not wish to be a narrator, and unless you didn't notice I am also not writing in past tense. I am offering the reader (if male) the chance to be the main protaganist, hence no name or description. In fact there are a number of blank spots in characterisation and detail in order to accentuate this. I only called the girl Ana because leaving her nameless would just cause difficulty.
Neon_Ultraover 11 years agoAuthorSorry, I mean to write 'I do NOT wish any formality in my porn writing.'
To summarise, for all readers, I have neither expectation nor desire for my writing to be taken seriously. I am not a writer of erotica. It is lurid fap material, and all the praise I get in this regard makes me think that, in this particular regard, it works.
Anonymousover 11 years agoAnother excellent story! Thanks so much for this! looking forward for more rimming action, especially when she has not taken a shower. I am your biggest fan!
Neon_Ultraover 11 years agoAuthorThanks Anonymous :) Although I don't think my biggest fan should stay anonymous...
And Ana's ass is never clean, don't worry :P
Anonymousover 11 years agoI love these stories, they get my pussy soooo wet! But my favourite parts are the ass licking, please do even more of that, or even a specific ass eating story, basically I want him to eat ana's sweaty, dirty asshole, and whatever come out.
Neon_Ultraover 11 years agoAuthorI have submitted the next act, it will be up in a few days hopefully.
There is dirty asslicking, yes. But 'Anonymous', you don't need to pretend to be different people! :P I might be wrong but it always seems like you're the same person asking for the same stuff. While I will include rimming when I see fit, this is an anal series and not a rimming series, and I have a lot to cater for. Of course I write principally for myself. As much as I like to please my audience, I think you are after more rimming than I can deliver (that sounds dodgy...). Perhaps you should write your own story? :)
Anonymousalmost 3 years agoBest fap material, please never ever stop writing anal incest, I love your stories, especially anal Alice and the branch towards R. Keep going!
Neon_Ultra@Neon_Ultra
