by Elizabethhart
I'm sorry you didn't like it. The other chapters are being reviewed. This first part is a setup for the rest of it.
I was going to say that Francine's shifts in mood seemed to be a little too extreme to be credible - going from "Tears poured down Francine's face. She trembled uncontrollably. " to "Francine leaned forward. There was a strange gleam in her eyes. A gleam she didn't trust." in the space of a few sentences. That it's all an act does serve to explain this, of course, though it then becomes a little odd that Elise would not find her mood swings to be suspicious.
Anyway, that's just something of a quibble that struck me as I was reading it. The story certainly has potential; I'll be looking out for the rest as it arrives.
It wasn't bad. The person who left that rude comment was probably drunk... lol