by starsinger
You evedently know how to depict sexual acts so use your skills. As simple as that.
If i were you i'd split this story in two. Mom's ban on use of a/c in Oct was hillarious. How the narrator got major hots for Steve was good. "Your nipples are hard" - a brilliant short sentence that can say as much as a paragraph. After Steve has fucked her was the logical end to Ch. 1.
No offence meant.
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On a less serious note, if i used the story for jack-off purposes, i would not be able to read about that Eli character because i'd be holding a paper towel in my hand. OK?