All Comments on 'Mona's Song'

though you might want to tinker with that first strophe and all its pronouns. The ending is abrupt and a bit odd, but I think that's a good thing.

You're absolutely right. So focused as I was on maintaining the meter, I completely ignored a Poetry 101 rule of thumb. Edited:

A year ago, assisted with her living,

Mona sang "We'll Meet Again" with me.

Tonight it might as well have been a wind chime

tintinnabulum,

for Mona can't recall a word

as Gina asks her Daddy "Why

does Nonna need a song?" He says "The rhyme

will help make Nonna sleep,"

but after rock-a-by

the baby falls, she twitters like a bird.

The revised version is better, but it was a keeper even before that. I hope you have these collected somewhere or share them with your family (I'm assuming this is about your mother, which may or may not be the case).

with the other comments - It makes what I experienced with my mother-in-law spring back to life. Painful - beautiful.

leaving the results in limbo. TK U MLJ LV NV