I hope you make a part two to this
Cleverly written and with the typical sibling teasing and banter...very pleased they ultimately united and share love filled sex. I have for so long envied brother/sister sex. Never had it, but dreamed of it for most of my life, from the first time I saw one of my sisters naked...but was never to be, but the dream lives on....*S* Thank you for a very real and exciting story...looking forward in great anticipation of chapters 2 thru 35...LOL Thank you again.
gotta know what happens next
I'm a twin sister and I can't believe that at 19 these twins are seeing each other in the nude for the first time. My brother and me have been playing 'Doctor' and 'You show me yours and I'll show you mine' for years.
Good story, but they must have been playing 'stink finger' for ever.
Got me so wet! Especially when he came inside his sister ;)
Unique format and realistic dialogue.
I think you purposely used 10 X's more commas than you needed. WTF dude every sentence was in quotes, even the inner dialogue. Every sentence had like 50 commas.
I rarely stop reading a story because of punctuation, but this is unreadable.
EDIT, EDIT, EDIT, and then learn the English language!!!!! and then EDIT some more.
...strange format, almost like an interview. Punctuation, spacing, and voicing made this a difficult read. A story would help, too.
Good ideas and dialogue; beyond that, get some writing help.
For two kids with 4.0 grades your grammar is terrible.
Lied means to not have told the truth, but you keep using it when you should use laid. You can lie down or lay down, but for something you've done in the past its laid never lied. Lied is not past tense of lay/lie, lied is only having not told the truth.
Hey, everyone! I really appreciate all your comments and feedback. You have made me feel really welcome here and given some nice comments. Thanks you guys very much.
I really am sorry about the commas and grammar. I tend to make up my stories as I go, and I write them very fast. As such, I don't tend to analyze them like I should. I will continue to work on this, as I want to be the best writer I can be, whether it be on this site or my future books I am planning and writing currently. And as for the commas, again I apologize. I use a LOT of commas while I am writing, mostly to keep paragraphs from going on too long or just so I can break descriptions down. I hope my fans continue to stick with me, as I would hate for such small problems to kick in the way of my storytelling.
Anyway, thanks again. I will probably have a new story on here in a matter of weeks. I actually would like to hear your thoughts on the matter. Would you prefer a sequel to Alex and Emma, a sequal to this story or something new?
I had a little trouble following the point of view in some spots, but the story was so good, I went back and reread the spots that I was confussed about.
Sex between brother and sister is hot enough on it's own, but sex between twins is just a lot more sexy for some reason.
Thanks for the start to your series...
great story the dialogue added to the whole experience
how could she not remember two of the three guys she fucked, it hasn't been a full year since she lost her virginity. Does she have a drug or drinking problem or Alzheimer. Three guys in less then a year, she would have had a reputation. She would have been the talk of the locker room
Eight and a half inches plus five inches makes thirteen and a half inches.
Oh c'mon a tiny reality puleeze.
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