by edharian
I hope you don't leave us hangin' in Montana....it's a long drive to Florida!
Please keep going.
They have two days left until they get to Florida, then a week in Orlando. This could be one hot trip, in the Sunshine State. And the ride home, if they don't get found out. Not a bad read, thanks. Now how about part 2............LAROC OF AGES
I loved the set up, instantly liked the siblings, superb writing. Personally, I'd have liked a little more anticipation; it is taboo after all. Why not milk the suspense? They were barely on the road and there was no hesitation. Better than many.
... wonderful interplay - great descriptive text.
Thanx...
We are going to be looking for the story in the hotel and beyond, keep up the great start.
You have a good story line going could have been a little longer but great for a first time keep it up !Looking forward to your next story .
Dad should have seen all that stuff they were doing it is a mini van not a RV my kids joke around a I look back . So I say bull shit to this storie keep trying
Great story!! I can't wait to read future chapters!! Feel free to send them to me.
Good work mate, short but sweet story. Instead of going to the hotel, perhaps have the father say that he's not tired enough to stop driving and he could keep on driving for a few hours after a rest stop.
Finding out they are stuck alone in the car together, they actually enjoy finding ways to do things around the clutter of the things in the car, and trying to hide what they're doing from their father. Just an idea.
Either way, where the story goes keep going it mate. Well written, and my kind of action,
Now that they have sex to occupy their energy, I hope to read how they fuck each other to oblivion
Thanks for the read.
Great realistic interaction between the siblings as the trip starts out. Up until he got a look at her pussy, it reminded me of some family trips my family took when I was younger!
Maybe the hotel will only have 2 hotel rooms available when they get there, and they will have to share the room!
Can't wait to see where you take their new relationship from here!
crapola whole thing from when they get in minivan was just stupid and unbelievable
I guess a few readers don't understand that idea of fantasy or fiction. Hopefully these same people never read or watch anything that isn't based 100% in reality. But we all know they are beating off to henti and writing my little pony erotic fan fiction. Keep up the good work, I very much enjoyed it.
I love the start to this story... IMO, three things I love in erotic stories are 1. Car rides... 2. Interaction under the nose of near by people (ie. them getting each other off right behind where their parents are sitting)... 3. A sense of realism. This is where I hope you do not go the route of many others with follow up stories, I would love to see them continue their sexcapades during their trip... Maybe even work them full on having sex in the back seat during the ride... IMO, turning it into a full on family sex adventure isn't the route to go... My favorite story I've read is called Rachel's Bumpy ride (google it), and until the very end, I loved everything about it, until you could tell it was veering too deep into fantasy to hold a connection to reality... IMO, if you keep this as a secret affair between the 2 of them, this can make for a fantastic series of erotic stories. Can't wait to read what's to come!
You have to finish this story. Mayb let her fall pregnant during their stay at the hotel. I'm looking forward to a hair-rising part 2
If there is anything wrong with this tale, to this point (and I do hope there are several installments), it's that it is just too short. Hopefully, the first night will be a really long one with them exploring their love and lust.
Thank you,
-Wylde
Really good, but at first seemed like their first time, but then later not so much with how commonly they take the idea of fucking. So, which is it?
This story is good, sure, if you enjoy quick sudden sex. This story has no emotional development to even beg the question that these two "siblings" are really siblings. This whole beginning chapter is set up just like any other porno out there. I urge the author of this story to read the stories: Collision, Party of Five and Just The Six of Us; in hopes that it will give the writer more insight on how to write a story where the very bond of two siblings is put to the test.
loved how it just happened-you need chapter 2 for sure-nicely done-thanks
my sis walk pass I said if she was not my sis I could fuck her my friend said I fuck my sister late if I could fuck her yes was her reply
the emotions of love and sheer annoyance can be to each other.
there is hope for sibling rivalry.
Yeah, totally believable right? Sheer nonsense and won't be wasting anymore of my time reading on.
Makes you wonder why that retarded anon is even here reading! Dumbass. This is totally believable. I cant picture their positions easily, but the rest had me laughing! Ive been forced on vacations with the family and been shoved in the back bench in the van, stuffed full of shit! With the middle seats packed your out of sight and out of mind! ;)
This is one of the best story's on here... Please make another
Please update next page....I just can't wait till he fucks both holes hmmmm
This series was so promising and then it ends as an unfinished story. If you are looking for a series of quick (mostly 1 page chapters) but very promising sibcest JO material with no resolution at the end of the series then this series is for you. If you are looking for a finished product then it's likely not for you.
I'm jen if anybody have experience on incest text me 8457509904 that was a good story I do have sex with my brother
Good premise.
But sex? Meh.
He put his fingers deep in her pussy. She took his cock in her mouth, and stuck her finger in her ass. The came.
That's about all the decription there was. Not the least bit erotic.
Four stars -- but only for possibilities.
Definitely wish there was part 2 to most of the stories & sum in a series... Always leave an opening for more... Great read!!!!
My comment was meant for a different story, that I read & thought I was commenting on that author's stories that needed more parts to them... Plus, I didn't realize this was a series read anyway... Just read it, then realize after I commented that it was a series... That's what I get for reading late at night & then commenting.. Wanted to put an explanation to my first comment...
2/5 for a lazy attempt at the back seat tale. You didn't even make a stab at saying how the parents don't hear or see or smell them getting it on right behind their seats.