All Comments on 'My Hero'

Love this story. The characters, the plot, the flow, it all works together beautifully. Thank you.

OUTSTANDING!!! There is no other word to describe this beautifully written love story detailing the lives of a loving gay couple!

What a beautiful, hot, sexy, wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it. Loved, loved it.

Just wonderful, 5 stars

This built really well. It was slow and sweet and really believable. I don't think the threesome(s) added anything at all to the story, though it didn't really detract either. I thought overall this was really sweet and I would be interested in reading more of your work. Thanks for sharing!

Beautiful! Awesome! And congratulations on dreams coming true!

Really liked this story!

Great job!!

:)

This was a great story. I really enjoyed reading about Peter's life with Otis. It was touching, sweet & real. I must say Peter is definitely a better person than me to forgive his mom. I love my mom more than anyone in the world but if she tries to kill me your getting cut off for life. I'm not saying he can't forgive her but you definitely can't forget that, how can you ever trust someone that tried to kill you, for being gay at that. Smh I was so surprised by his mom's ignorance, hatred & pure stupidity I honestly thought he would be accepted by both parents.

Beautifully constructed with just enough uncertainty to keep you guessing. Love it!!!

Well done. Nicely developed characters. I love romance and happy endings. I look forward to other stories. Please continue writing.

That was so nice...in its truest sense. Pleasing,delightful, fine with a delicate subtlety. Thanks, Jinty.

Please can you write a second chapter this is by far one of the best story I've read on this site so can you please write a second chapter about there life's like about the relationship with Otis parents and peters mum and why Otis didn't have a room mate. So please can you write a second chapter please I love this story to much

I loved this story. Some may say it moved slowly, but I think it was really great to see this relationship develop brick by brick. The characters pulled me in and I enjoyed seeing them buiild this lasting relationship. I l wived how it showed beauty being in the eye of the beholder and how the inside makes the outside more beautiful. You also showed the healing that needed to take place for peter and how that love helped him heal. The only thing I'd have liked to see would have been for you to take us along with the engagement/marriage. since we saw this relationship grow from the moment they met, I think seeing the step they took when deciding to spend their lives together would have worked better for me. Especially, given the stress that Otis put on the significance of sleeping with someone and moving in with someone being done if he was sure it was for keeps. But, the ending was still sweet obviously, esp with the idea of them having a child together. Great story.

cannd

HIV can be transmitted orally. Getting tested for HIV after having unprotected oral sex both ways multiple times was only slightly less useless than the condoms.

Other than that glaring mistake, the story was really enjoyable.

But the risk of transmitting HIV orally is actually very, very low - much lower than other STDs or from anal or vaginal sex (not to mention blood of course). So actually it's not that stupid to be tested for HIV before barebacking for other things than oral sex - but I agree that for other STDs it's a bit silly to worry about condoms for fucking if you have unprotected oral sex. And let's face it: fellatio with condoms is probably unusual except for prostitutes.

Cheers for the prompt reply anonymous.

Glad you enjoyed it, rabbitfish.

I didn't have paragraphs upon paragraphs of Peter worrying too much about STDs because not only would that not be hot to read, but it wasn't an area I wanted to delve into and the character of Peter wouldn't be thinking about that stuff anyway. (He did agree to suck Arthur off, a guy he knew for about 15 minutes).

The HIV test was meant to be a 'the last one they'd ever need' type of deal, and show how Otis was ready to settle down with his boyfriend.

But why would Peter even need a HIV test - wasn't he a virgin ? Orally as well as anally ? I've skimmed the story again to see if I missed something, but as far as I can see, Peter hadn't been with anyone before Otis (he never got to the point of sucking Andy, and afterward he was too scared).

And I'm sure Otis would have gotten tested as soon as Peter agreed to be his boyfriend - long before they even got close to oral sex. So I took the mutual HIV test before barebacking the way you meant it: as a unspoken declaration of their commitment to each other rather than something that was necessary concerning STDs.

It seems weird that they would have a threesome with Matt if they decided they're gonna settle down and take an HIV test and be exclusive....loved the story other than that though, might be personal taste, threesomes aren't really my thing.

A truly moving and inspring tale; well done!!

Although I think the mom sucks and I would have a hard time forgiving her, I really loved this story. The characters really grow and seem very real. Well done!

That was amazing i love it so much very good job.

i love the story through and through.

I really had a great time reading this from start to finish, the characters had such great depth to them and emotional connections, it was sexy as it was fulfilling story wise, looking forward to more quality work like this. Wish I could have a sweetie like Pinky, I am pretty much built like Otis heh.

This story has a lot of really common trope elements in a bear/twink tale. Young twink, first night in a bar, beating by a homophobe, bear rescuer, etc... but yet I kept reading. I really enjoyed the additional art elements and the slow relationship progression. If I were to have any comments, I'd say that the last 1/4th of the story after they see his parents resolves so very quickly. The build of their early relationship goes slowly, in large part due to the trauma they both suffered in past relationships/abuses.

By contrast, the telling of the writing of the book--a very important part of the emotional healing process--doesn't pack much of a punch as it would be if we got to feel what Peter and Otis do. You'd think it'd create some memory backlash for Otis, and more questioning by Peter. He was so sure of his mother--did he really know her at all? Did she really love him? How could he trust what he thinks someone feels for him if he was so wrong about her?

There are so many different things that most people who have non-traditional sexualities feel when faced with various reactions when they 'come out'. I would have really liked to see the same care taken with that element at the end, because the beginning was done with such consideration to the way a person who is attacked would feel in truth.

Still, overall, a very enjoyable read for the evening. I wish the author were still posting here.

The descriptions of loving a large, lustful man are just right- down to the shaking of the bed, and everything. Leaves me lonely for a bear of my own...

I like so much the story, you are great with the images, I could see all the scenes like it was a movie, I saw colours, light and shadows, and overall the face and eyes of Otis-the-bear. Love is love and I love the happy endings, because it happens for real. congratulations.

what a load of rubbish

Story was working well till you brought in Matt for a threesome - you write the characters as faithful and monogamous, then suddenly, with no rhyme or reason, you throw that out the window. Don't you know your own characters?

Annoying.

"I can't fathom letting anyone else into my body the way I let Otis." That's what he said, then two pages later they are having a threesome. I was so disappointed. I skimmed that part and tried to pretend it didn't happen to preserve the story, but it just ruined it for me. He doesn't know his mother or his father and he doesn't know himself. How can he possibly be ready for a committed relationship and a child?

Aside from all that, I do think it a beautiful literary tragedy that Otis got scars from both of their coming out events.

Good story but threesome threw me. I just couldn't see them doing it but it is your story and whatever floats your boat I suppose. 😀

It was good, except for the threesome. It just doesn't fit with their personalities in my opinion.

Loved this story so much. From start to finish what a tear jerker at times.

True love between 2 gay men.

Good story, except for the threesome.

Loved the character development and the ebb and flow. Beautiful piece with just the right amount of eroticism made all the more intense by the emotional narrative. The threesome was titillating, but a bit beyond belief for such a new couple. And you sprang it on us so suddenly.

Definately ! The theme of this story is great,and i truly enjoyed reading it,the way pinky's mom acted inda makes me wonder what mom will do when i tell her....:|

Well, Bundy5, I was getting wrapped in the blossoming romance between Otis and Peter/Pinky. However, when it became threesome with Matt, I became a little disillusioned. If they had such a great thing going for them, why would they want to bring someone else sexually into their little private world? LOVE would diminish and it would just become a sexually physical thing.

Once someone else entered their private world, their one-on-one attraction for each other would become something in the past.

Apart from that aspect of the story, your writing style flows very easily.

it"s nice to know even fat people can find love.

Damn you, you've got me all watery-eyed. But, in all seriousness, great job.

It started out pretty strong, but overall the story was kind of a mess. I would say it really went off the rails around the time Peter outed himself to his parents. That entire scene was just ridiculous. I guess a physical altercation between a son and a mother isn't that unbelievable, but the way you described it certainly was. That scene wasn't the only issue, unfortunately.

-You write that they quit their jobs at the club to pursue their dreams...what dreams? You never actually said what they wanted to do with their artistic talents. The graphic novel was just something that came out of nowhere; as were the freelance advertising jobs. At the beginning of the story Peter seems like more of a painter than an illustrator, but suddenly his 'dream' is something he just started doing a few weeks ago and had all but forgotten about since then.

-Peter's reunited with his mother while Otis and his dad high five? Seriously? Did you try picturing that in your head when you wrote it? Because it's looks absolutely ridiculous when I do.

-And of course, there is the threesome. The utterly ridiculous, completely out of place, and totally unnecessary threesome. If there's ever been a more clear indication that an author doesn't actually understand the characters he's created, I've yet to see it.

There was a lot of potential for a nice romance between disparate individuals, but it all collapsed in on itself.

This is a great story.

Beautiful story. Keep writing!

It’s fair to say that the great majority of contributions to Literotica are neither particularly erotic nor even literate, let alone examples of literature (some are, of course). The ones that I find exasperating, however, are those by writers who are talented but insufficiently disciplined in regard to their work.

You have an award for this piece, but in my opinion it doesn’t rise to the standard. Full disclosure: I consider the needy-twink-rescued-by-gruff-but-kind-hearted-bear genre to be a tired, dead end of a trope, and unfortunately there is a surfeit of it on Lit. But that's just me.

However, that is not the problem here. What is irritating is that you are clearly a writer of ability; your main characters are believable and you have a good eye for description, detail, and dialogue. At least initially, the story unfolds at an appropriate pace and it has an internal logic. But then, as others have remarked, you seem to lose control of the plot about halfway through. To give just one example: the threesome is not simply an aberrant element in the story, it is also pointless. It adds nothing and is inconsistent with the characters as you had previously depicted them. As Tesoro Mio noted, no sooner has Peter declared that he can't fathom letting anyone else into my body the way he lets Otis than he is up for a session with Matt; and Otis, who apparently wanted only Peter, goes along with the idea. We are not told why.

Here’s the thing: with all the good writers on Lit., there is a *point* to the sex scenes. On this occasion, it seems as though you had written yourself into a corner and tacked on a sexual encounter for want of a better idea to get the story going again. Or, to put it another way, you lost your nerve and stopped trusting your literary instincts.

I could go on. There was a lot more you could have done with your material – and, to be frank, quite a bit that you could have left out too. In short, you unquestionably have a writer’s talent; I look forward to seeing you develop a writer’s craft.

Loved this story!!!!!

I loved the story until they had threesome. It’s not my thing. I like threesomes with hookups but never with someone i love. I definitely won’t share our private time with other person. But rest of the story is so good

Anon 7 months ago,

Is this the anon that always gives bad feedback really late so they can dodge any counterarguments down their way again?

Tough luck, buddy. No rest for you. Imagine hating on the story when that threesome segment does not last even a page. I don't enjoy threesomes myself, but you have to be extremely weak in the mind if such a short segment ruins the entire story for you. Get a grip and maybe learn not to be a cowardly, shitty person that destroys writers' confidences with this awful basis.

Also,

Folks like illwind and spadger, your feedbacks are rough. Hating on the threesome segment is fine, but you are going too far on ditching your thoughts on the writer.

Illwind,

How in the world does that show the writer is losing the direction on the story? It's hinted that Peter's impression on relationships grew as he talked to Jasmine, Matt's fiance. Both of them are fine with the threesome too. I understand not agreeing to having threesomes, but your statement is just a stretch on the writer losing inspiration on the story. It feels like you are getting too biased over your own fault reading the "twink meets bear" trope and decides to diss on this story with no reason in particular.

Spadger,

Your statement sounds like someone in the closer that is trying so hard to maintain their monogamy preferences, but is actually wanting to try threesomes. How in the world does "their love depletes as they have sex with another man" when both Peter and Otis are still rock solid in their relationships? You are just projecting your irrational hatred on the idea of the threesome at this point. I also don't see myself doing that, but throwing out weird shit like that is not the writer's problem, it's a you problem.

Also, the comment on illwind is also directed to the anon 2 years ago.

Sweet story. Nice characters & plot development.

It happens I am not a great fan of the threesome stuff--mostly because it seems gratuitous; it doesn't add anything useful or insightful to the story. But I am happy to skim over those bits & enjoy the engaging story. Thanks.

Exceptional story!!! Thank you.