by StangStar06
she intentionally cheated on her fiance, she is a cheater, once a cheater always a cheater. Fuck her to death if he wants but never marry her.
Thought it is different than the usual material that you write about, it is a nice change of pace. You could actually feel for the characters without looking down on them. Thank you for the enjoyment of reading your work.
the plane should have crashed into the guys place and killed them all.
They are all cheaters and have no respect for anyone. Cheaters can NEVER be trusted.
...always a cheater-so the last line is totally unbelievable.
From my view point your early postings were clearly superior. In the last few months it seems to me that you are trying too hard and subsequently the stories have became darker. If possible return to your earlier style.
I was going to give you a hard time about her being a cheater and he a back-stabber, but, with tongue in cheek! But I was beaten to it and they sound very serious to me. Perhaps I do not recognize irony?
Well written, especially the delightful way you pictured his depression when she was dancing in attendance on her future husband. I can not approve his decision to commit suicide. That should not have been on the table and was the author's solution for a tough situation. Now I think that he should have been cuddling with Terry when she rushed through the door and saved him from a fate worse than death! Sort of reminds me of the Arabian Nights.
just when i was thinking you had gone 2 deminsional on me with the good and bad story sides you pop out a great 3d version to keep me greatly enthusied with your writing styles
another great story by the stangman
Too cute by half. Just find a good story and tell it ...enough with the pretensions of grandeur. Sorry, this is not Tolstoy.
The issue of it being an arranged marriage makes a great deal of the moral climate of the story murky. The fictional country, Pacmanistan, appears by description to be a reforming fascist country, beset with many laws and ideals that tend to ignore or violate human rights. Some of the other posters have very clear stances on cheating, and feel that the protagonists should burn for, "cheating". Is it cheating if it's a shotgun wedding where the bride doesn't truly want to marry the man, but by circumstance appears to be given zero choice? Technically they aren't married, but are engaged to be married. Neither of the fiance's was ever given a choice about the engagement. You could argue Priya was engaged in a commitment, but a commited marriage? Hardly, and then there's the fact that the husband to be would be allowed to have multiple wives & mistresses and that would be acceptable by Pac society. Could a more hypocritical situation exist? Is Priya somehow burnable while the Prince is unaccountable for his own infidelities?
As always, thanks for sharing, the story was well written. At least at the end of this one, Rose didn't hog the entire door and let Jack freeze to death, then break off his thumb and ditch him for the lifeboat.
Suicide, really? The story was okay except for the protagonist being a whiny sap.
I waded through the seemingly endless 100,000 of drivel that read like it was lifted straight from a True Romance magazine of the 50's, and NO REVENGE! You cheated us Stang! Far worse than any slut, whore, filthy wife we all love to hate. Without heroic revenge, what is the point? The spineless, degenerate cuck/wimp you show here doesn't even have the manhood to shoot his own head with the pistol barrel jammed to it. If you don't give us a Rambo soon, all cheating wife haters will start hating you!
I like the direction this story took. Very different from your regular fare
Technically she's a cheater.. But I couldn't feel anything for this story other than disgust. Eric is a class A LOSER!!!!!! Loser loser loser loser loser. He tried to blow his brains out over a chic--loser!
This story was well thought out and very well written. I feel sorry for all the 'Anonymous' (read cowardly) commenters who attack a story, not for the quality of the idea or writing, but rather because they disagree with the story line. This was a new twist and one that worked well. Please keep the stories coming.
I am on my feet applauding, outstanding read! Wrong category for it though, there are others. You should try them. I've probably said that before though!
Wow, a story written by StangStar wherein the main female character is neither a blithering idiot, nor a sociopathic whore. I'm impressed.
Seriously, I am impressed. The story is much more fitting to Romance that LovingWives though.
Thanks for writing!
.... I can say that I liked this story. I am happy that he took a chance and didn't just shove another story down our throats that was a+b=c. formulaic stories are nice and all and have their place. I happen to really appreciate the fact that the author can push some boundaries and still give consistent quality. to many authors have a library of work and only one or two pieces are actually worth the time it takes to read them. so, love them or hate them ( and I haven't hated any yet), I look forward to each new submission by this author.
Whenever your stories show up I look forward to a pleasant afternoon reading and being emotionally challenged. I rate this one as among your best. Your characters are real, their situations are insuperable, and the results always thought provoking and entertaining.
Thank you for all your efforts to reach out from the page a touch my soul.
This belonged in romance. It would have been appreciated far more there. Very good story. As for the guy below who said it isn't Tolstoy...dude Internet writers rock. And for our generation some of these guys are the Tolstoys and Shakespeares of the future. I can see people ten years from now reading Billie Jean or Chrissy or ugly Americans and studying StangStar, DQS1 or Cpete. 5 all day
This was as close to being a modern Romeo/Juliet as I've ever read
I loved the semi tragic ending and a guy who was willing to give all for
Love. I especially loved the fact that there were clearly no villains
Or heroes this time out. The story was full of real people with different views
As a female it's good to know that some writers don't think every woman
Is crazy. 10+ from me
I've never rated you less than a 5 but I just couldn't get into the suicide, wimpy guy pinning over this girl. It just didn't work for me. Really sorry you stuff is great (usually) as far as I'm concerned.
Just kidding. I thought it was definitely a Five Star story.
I loved this story. I see the torch the bitch crowd is out in full force in this category as usual though. Not all of us feel that way though and we appreciate stories like this. Thanks for contributing.=)
I dare! I dare!
The intent of the story was to outline a sympathetic cheater. This...failed. Since Stang is always having a love affair with his leading men, they can do (almost) no wrong...so...can a 4 year old make a decision to be betrothed? No.
Is a fiance a wife? No.
Was Priya ever in a 'committed' relationship (committed by WILLFULLY agreeing and wanting to be with someone)? No. That is what makes cheating so painful. If she had given her heart, soul and body to Gustav but then changed her mind and shlepped it to Erica (used on purpose), THAT would be an emotional betrayal which makes for drama and tragedy.
This? No. The only tragedy here is the effects on her home country. Women will be treated like dirt some more. People don't get worked up about Darfur...they get worked up by the personal. Which is why these human rights groups always trot out some little kid/woman to tell their tragic stories.
And part of the problem is that with the guaranteed Disney ending, there isn't that much emotional investment once you've read the first dozen stories. Are we going by plane? Are we driving? Are we coming from the south? Are we coming from the north? Doesn't matter because we'll see mouse ears pretty darned soon.
However, did I like the story? There was much more going on here then there was in somethig like "Business" or "EGBDF". At least some attempt was made to add a bit of murk to the situation.
I would suggest to the readers bitching about his suicide that, based on the character, he HAD to do that...but that is the fault of the weak character.
I really don't see what Priya saw in Erica. He studies hard. Okay. He has a neat car. Okay. He's 'nice'. Big fucking deal! Stang, 'nice' is the penny of emotional currency. It better damned well be assumed! EVERY boy who dates a girl is 'nice'. Knuckle dragging rapists and users are not particularly common.
Gustav, a guy who is an AMBASSADOR, who is going to become a KING...who also did well in school and was NICE (as attested to by everyone there) was a much better catch in every single way. He was at LEAST as good as Erica. So outside of a spark, what was there?
A spark. That is explanation enough But it leaves us hanging. It would have been nice if Priya had been a bit more torn about the choices. Is the prince such an idiot that he didn't want to have a good marriage to his betrothed? Not as written, so his discontent is forced as well. That is the thing with arranged marriages, the FAMILIES involved throw the two together at every opportunity so that they don't even KNOW about other choices!
Wow! Went long. Better than normal, but I keep hoping for more. I guess I need to write again.
Ending at a suicide attempt over his love really was a bummer . But you stories are pretty good. How you write every week simply amazes me.
I very rarely waste my time with a Stang story. Even if we DO always get to Disneyland, he knows all the scenic routes to get there.
And yes, I am recalling some of the darker stories where you had the protagonist KILL his first wife. Mostly, I anticipate a happy ending however.
Addendum: Priya didn't read like who she was portrayed as in language and demeanor.
And is there EVER going to be a Stang hero who approaches a girl WITHOUT knowing if his advances are 'accepted'? As a guy, every time I try to cop a feel, grab a kiss, remove a bit of clothing, I am taking a chance...a BIG chance to my self esteem and my reputation. None of your guys suffer this because the girls do all the work.
Fuck! Okay...okay...I'm writing!
For the warning skipped half way thru the first page. Well written crap is still just crap. Like your writing, hate weak characters.
I once again enjoyed reading one if your stories, even though not as good as the last two. I will admit that I agree with others about this being more a romance than loving wives story.
FD45--WTF dude??? I've read all of your stories and you are nowhere near the writer SS is. Jealous much?
Erica was a pathetic, whiny, mopey, stupid character and the story suffered for it. He may have been "nice" but he wasn't likable. I get that love has its own rules as for who we are attracted to but Erica just leaves a bad vibe in the air. Why would a woman be so taken with him as to set aside all she had. Does she want to mother this poor pathetic child?
The situation itself was interesting but the personalities are too weak to support it.
i loved it, it twisted turned did a flip and still landed on its feet a great read and i almost missed it when it hit Wednesday rather then Thursday. a little sweet should have a diabetic warning but very nice.
Dab10
I wish I had the imagination that Stang has. If you have any doubt - read the one and only story I wrote on this site. That should be proof enough that I am not Stang. I just have the good fortune to get to read his stories before the rest of you and to be the comma police on his writing. And besides, I do not make enough money to afford that sweet car you see on his profile.
Using a smart-ass name like Pacmanistan in your story completely undermines any attempt at drawing the reader in to a fictional world. What's the point of trying to craft a story with recognizable types of people who experience authentic emotions when you insist on repeating a half-assed joke every few pages? It's hard to take any of the lovers plight seriously when you consistently return to a joke name for the woman's country.
Either try to be a real writer or give up and just masturbate to your personal jokes. Time to grow the fuck up.
Eric's character is simply too weak to support the story. Granted, interpersonal relations produce moments of angst; not acceptable throughout the complete story. The story was fun and thanks for writting. S
Pacmanastan sounds like a exciting place lots of good stories come from there
God this was a fucking night mare to read. This stupid dumb as shit mother fucker spends how many years of his life chasing after a woman he cant have ?
... wimps are suicidal, real men are homicidal.
I could not empathize with our sniveling, whining protagonist in the slightest.
Not one of your better attempts
Stang -- I almost always enjoy your stories. They are fun , sometimes predicatable but none the less a fun , good read. On a scale of 1 -10 you very rarely, in my opinion, fall short of the #8. This was an 8 ,,, certainly not your best, but still head and shoulders above most of the drivel on Lit. . I would have liked to have seen a little more character development for Pryia. It seems most of your stories are first person ,,, Have you considered writing 3rd person more to allow better character development?
As for those complaining about the hapless male characters...... I would venture a guess that none of them have ever been in love. Having been married for 30 years to the same woman before cancer took her way before her time.... I know what the loss of true love is. A marriage of love is 10-40-40-10 10% The best life has to offer , 40% really nice and comfortable, 40% so -so complacent and the other 10% thinking what ever was I thinking when I asked this pyschopathic bitch to marry me .
SS, this one got to me in a big way. Your stories are always good, but this one was in a tender class by itself. Great work. Thanks again!
the male character in your latter stories are just going down and down, take this one for instance, when he is talking about a good girl or a potential wife he is talking about a woman of raving beauty, sure we all want a a beauty queen who loves us to death but that doesnt mean if a man marry an average beauty woman that he will never loves her with passion and that both of them will cheat on each other before they are 45 as the character said early in the story, also when comparing women in the beginning he only compare what he sees on the outside and he never says that maybe this one is more beautiful on the outside but that one is more beautiful in the inside which ultimately make the second one more beautiful on the long run. i know that the male in this story is in his early 20s and he is probably thinking with his small head rather than his big one, but still the author tried to project him as a smart sensitive guy who tried to think logically before his love practically threw herself on him and took him to the depth of despair.
This one rocked StangStar06!! How about the band the songs and all that?? How about an epilogue and shoot the moon while you're at it!
The cheaters all win lol
So yeah I sympathize with all of them at the end and it worked out right for all - in spite of the backwards traditions employed by the pacmannies. On far to many places those traditions still exist - and of course he used a made up country -we should all remember Salmund Rushdi he got a murder writ placed on his head for seeming to disrespect a real group -
Cheating is an ethical issue not an absolute - so is it OK this time - well sure -- SORTA LOL
Really nice job here thanks for the thought provoking story -
I am just gonna ask StangStar06 r u being held captive and being made to write dumber and dumber male characters? Kill yourself over a cheater? It has a chick flick feel to it,passive and pro-feminist,cheaters are not bad people? So....what your.... a cheater sympathizer now, they just make mistakes..like rape "oops didn't hear her/him say no?"...not a raciest, but "those Jews are behind it all, but Ive got no real issue with them".... to say cheating is a mistake is as fucking equal as those fuckers that drink and drive and then smash up a car with kids in is and say "oops, I'm sorry really i guess i was drunker than i thought.. my mistake". In today's world it is fucking murder, cold and simple, Adultery kills dreams unborn kids, hope,love,families, and yes people sometime get killed by this FUCKING mistake
I thought you got that.Freewill tis a bitch but you can always say NO!
Wow this story made me feel
That was 4king intense! Damn good story, Stanger, but Jesus let me get my blood pressure back down!
I'm still laughing about Pac-Man-istan. ROFL
5 Stars
FUCK!!! SS06 you NEED to find a new favourite word, other than WHINE or WHINED.
According to what she said. You may know (or not know) that I really like happy endings and I really did not see one in this instance. Thank you for your usual good story, it ended just as I desired. Thank you, Miko for your usual fine editing job.
And forget all the nit-pickers and naysayers. They need to write stories and until they do, don't be so critical. Lamar
Maybe me, you and SS06 are the only ones old enough to remember. Out the side door...ROFLMAO
beautiful story , i really loved it.
Author went to extreme lengths in an attempt to be
"all things to all people" in this one.
while i really do love the story that he created , i have to say that i absolutely hate the Literary manipulation of the reader that he was aiming for.
End result is i feel a little unclean & used after reading the tale.
it's as if i have been mindfcuked by one of the best political speach writers / spin doctors ....
i feel like i have just been analy raped & made to lick it clean by Bill Clinton , GwB or Tony Blair.
i really enjoy reading this genre of story.
BTB.
Love&Redemption
Lost&Found
Moving on.
Reconciliation
etc,etc,etc,
BUT ...as much as i love this story , it's ruined for me by the Authors Machiavellian intentions. i would have much prefered if SS06 had not explained himself in the Preface to the story.
xxxhugsxxx
TwistedOliver.
p.s
voted it 5 stars , i need to slow down & reflect more when i finish reading a story, am tooooo damn quick on the vote button.
the author stirs up such strong comments - from critics on both sides of the debate. and that there is even a debate speaks volumes.
nicely done.
I too feel that the story could have had just as much impact, however, without the suicide scene.
You do have a talent for getting your commentators' knickers in a twist, Stang. I thought the story was terrific.
I'm sure a lot of your readers are like soap addicts, thinking that the characters are real people. Can't they just read the stories?
I don't necessarily like the story but it is well written, interesting, and quite different.
5*
Priya a south indian name and Gustav is a north indian name. I don't think if India was a monarchy those arranged marriage would happen. But since they are from imaginary land of pacmanistan it would work. Nice story.
And arranged marriages still happen in India.😊
has no correlation to the story being indian,
the first half definitely is more similar the the life of Lady Di.
well any one can see that there is an exception to every rule, this story surely seems like one..
& yes arranged marriages do happen in india, as its practical & covienient, why, pop of 1.7 billion, its huge.... good thing is though arranged the couple are given the final diecision, even though most of the the time relatives will coerce the decision for you..
the ooky part is, forced arranged marriages have dwindled to a small percentage in mostly rural areas, problem is rape is still high, crime prevalent, corruption high...
...you´re one of the very few authors I call a bank. Lost count of the stories I´ve read, but there hasn´t been one that disappointed. Thank you for tjhis one, too.
Good one from the master . But he messed up with the names ... Priya is a common Indian name , but Gustav is nowhere near being an Indian..but let us forget about names ...after all "what is in a name.?? " All it matters is we have one good , entertaining and a gripping romance between a commoner and a "would have been" princess ..with all the elements of a thrilling romantic story. It has drama , it has music and it has the anticlimax gun-shots too ...
Well done Stang...
She-it man! At the first sign of pressure or stress or something like that!
Fuck features wants to blow his brains out?
So Eric fucks Priya, Eric thinks Priya is getting fucked by the Prince but he is fucking Alicia, Priya fucks off the Royalty Bullshit then she fucks off back to Fuck Eric
Eric fucks off from the recording contract, Fuck in th! !,e head Eric tried to fuck himself up by shooting his fucken brains out, Priya gets man to open fucking door, she sees Fuckwit trying to fucken fuck up his brains, he fucken misses gets fucken headache, she forgives fuck features and tells him she wants to royaly fuck him till they
make babies! ! WHAT A FUCKED UP BUNCH THEY ARE (I AM FUCKEN STUPID FOR WRITING THIS COMMENT BECAUSE IT GIVES ME A FUCKEN HEADACHE)
Did I miss anything?
Love you all! GREG.
OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.
screw all the cuckold man-cum suckers . this was a terrible read .
hope the whore gives cuck-boy aids .
he deserves it for taking the aids-whore back .
The store was excellent right up to when he tried to kill himself.
Then it seemed like you got tired of the story and brought It to a quick odd ending.
If anyone knows a wimp/cuck story it's you. YOU read them all!! Must remind you of your marriage.
....This was a lovely, satisfying story. Like others, I felt that the "shoot myself and let someone else clean up the mess" business was waaaaay over the top. Getting them together in the end was fine, but you could have done it lots of other ways, IMO.
Thanks for another great read!
Cried like a baby,
This is why I'm reading all of your stories.
Thanks for being you.
Was a sure 5, but the ending seemed rushed and really didn’t fit with the rest of the story. Still a good story, just not as good as it could have been. Enjoy your work, good to reach back and read a classic from you. Makes you appreciate what the writing used to be on Lit., compared to what it is now. Thanks.
I recently discovered you work. I am in the process of working thru all of your stories. Most all are great, this one is the best so far.
I wish you were still writing. Please return your voice to us.
SithLord: He's back on the board, posted a new story on 8/1/2019 "Alone in a Room" it's on another site (SOL) do a search using his persona it'll pop up, about the second one down. There's also one from earlier in the year as well as a few from 2016-2018. Also a blog, but nothing new on it since last year.
Anon: Add me to old fuckers who remember although I preferred Space Invaders on my Atari 800.
If I hadn't already so many of your stories I probably wouldn't have read much past the first half of page one. But since I've read so many other ones of yours I hung in knowing it wouldn't turn out to be what it first appeared. Glad I did, good story that was a change of pace. Years ago I felt the same way about a "soulmate" unfortunately it didn't work out the way this one did. But then I didn't go quite as far off of the deep end as Eric did, but it did allow me to understand his desperation. To the assholes who called Priya a whore and more, seems to me I read she was a virgin with Eric and said she never slept with Gustav, she wouldn't even hold his hand. Can't imagine any woman willing to live up to your twisted morality, can't imagine you yourself living up to it either. Thanks a lot SS, ya done good. Signed: BTW
Story is good but Girl name can not be Priya. If this is fiction ony, name of person and places should be realistic
To start with going the unrequited route is tough and few rarely make it, truth has been around for years. But then from that to being the other while caring a torch leads to even more pain and anguish, just to have that mere morsel or fix. Which ends up to leading to addiction for that fix. The pitiful and sad truth is the majority of either gender end up driving themselves just like a junkie. Most will do anything for that fix for that escape or to avoid being alone, no matter what the cost ends up being, sound familiar.
Then there are those that can just break the cycle but few can actually handle the isolation in being actually alone. No avenue for expression by words, a mere hug, a cuddle, a kiss or anything else but it can be done by a rare few and far between. Not that we’re incapable but why settle or compromise for what’s deserved and not what’s being forced upon to sell ourselves short and wind up miserable and still end up alone.
But sometimes in it’s rare form Fate steps in and lends a gentle hand when she chooses too for the fortunate. If the foolish try force her hand it winds up with Karma taking over leaving nothing in her wake but pain and anguish. You can only use wisdom with patience and a little hope would hurt; 5 stars !!!
Do you write BTB stories or are you just a pussy coward willing Cuck person
Stang man, even after 9 years I come across a new story of yours. Hope all is well, you've given me hours of pleasure.
I think I have read this one but I don't remember.
Anyway, you made me all emotional again.
As always, ,,,, you had a great ending. Thank you! !!
That was a good story! Such an enjoyable read. Loved it! A little scary with the gun at the end... but a great story. Thank-you
That was a great story! Such an enjoyable read. Loved it! Having the gun at the end was a little scary... but still a great story! By the gun... I mean that a simple pull of a trigger and someone’s story just ends. No continuing this persons life with no more struggles, challenges, and triumphs. It just ends with sadness for those around them. Thank-you it was great one!
I THOUGHT THE STORY COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. I THOUHT THE STORY WAS TEDIOUS. I THOUGHT THE STORY COULD BEEN TOLD IN LESS PAGES. I FELT ERIC WAS JUST TOO STUPID TO LIVE. THIS IS NOT IN THE RIGHT CATEGORY. IT'S MORE LIKE A BAD ROMANCE SCENE.
Not one of Stangs best works . I would Never kill myself over a Girl engaged to someone else . I thought She was a Spoiled little Brat .
Wow…ur knowledge of Indian Culture is as fucked up as your knowledge of cars! Reading and hearsay don’t make u a knowledgeable person!
And Indians had a culture and knows hygiene thousands of years before u guys even knew how to wear clothes or cook food that was atleast somewhat cooked!
Your snide put downs of a culture that has been there so long just shows your Hitler like arrogance about your own and feels totally misplaced on an author whom I thought till now was someone who knew his job! The American arrogance of feeling that you guys are all knowing and don’t need to either know apr respect other cultures is the prime reason that u are unsuccessful wherever you morons try to play god…Iraq…Syria and Afghanistan being the best examples where u have left bigger shit then existed before you got involved!
zeroZEROZERO... I skipped over to the last page to do this without wasting any time on the misery extant.
I think a commenter from a couple months ago is under the misapprehension that Priya was from India. Obviously, she was from Pacmenistan. Your bias is also showing. Great story. Things we don't like then create the drama that is then resolved at end of the story. This creates discussion and emotional response from the readers.
not up to the standard of others from this author that I have read, we can all have an off day and you can't please everybody every time. The thing that grabs my attention, and I've posted the same elsewhere, is that once again Anonymous , while berating the author for not knowing this or that, or for ignoring reality, only shows his or her ignorance by being unable to distinguish between fact and fiction, this is the author's universe , his game his rules; perhaps if Anonymous kept his vitriol to himself this and other authors might still be posting on this site
I didn't want to read it. I tried not to read it. It sucked me in. Nice job.