by HarryHill
I've always been a lazy waxer,
one coat and a quick buff
is usually sufficient.
hmmmmm
where are going with the last two stanzas? purpose? suppose you drop the last? suppose you end with hares "Goddess" would be a mere one overblown, but the last stanza you are coupling with "Artemis" "fecund ribald contemplation" and some other poetisms after you tell us:
Sounds like a blog blurb,
blowing hot air up your ass,
5ed
Harry why is Tazz postin' & then deletin' his comments ? Has somebody or something hurt his feelings ? 5-ed .
Is it Tazz? Kept seeing 'comment removed by Admin. thought it was Lit doing it. Had no idea you could delete comments
..
For Twelve Oh you're saying it's over the top?
but finished pleasurably with tasty greens. The final three stanzas make an excellent poem on their own without the prelude. I feel you could sharpen this a little particularly at the front end - but, other than that, a super effort. S.O.
seems to me you could cut this on the image of old rabbits anticipating some spring action :)
tinkered with your end lines to show where i feel it could be trimmed; it's okay if you don't agree with me :D
Turning
byHarryHill©
It is that time of the year,
to wax poetic vehicles
as spring nears.
I've always been a lazy waxer,
one coat and a quick buff
is usually sufficient.
Sounds like a blog blurb,
blowing hot air up your ass,
but then spring does bring out
the inevitable wild hare in us.
Even old rabbits
Kick up their heels in jubilation,
anticipating green grass grown long.
I can see a stringent edit while considering the comments. thanks for bringing me back to this one