by demure101
I do hope it made all the difference. S.O.
the poem meanders like a walk and it's very tactile with all the sense-grabbing description. I like the somewhat surprising ending but feel that it's not enough: what exactly is the twist that rattles the narrator at the end? It's sort of a tease not to tell, but maybe you wanted to leave it vague. I think you can do that but still add something more, some hint or even just a shocking image that gives the end of your poem the punch it deserves.
That's what's needed, and a willingness to go wherever the new path leads. And a willingness to let go of preconceived notions about the journey's end! Good one!