Thoroughly enjoyed your story Well written, not rushed, highly sensual and romantic. The erotic part was especially well done. Just about lost it when Marilyn swallowed his load! Love that.
Nice little story and an enjoyable read. Thanks
Jillian changed her eye color. Why? Joe should have had a clue that she was full of it.
Joe is a sex machine eager to please Marilyn, and after the Jillian debacle, he deserves a great lover-partner. Give Joe a nicely haired chest, and Marilyn the long thin fingers to graze through his hairy chest.
To the two people who caught mistakes, thank you. I am usually not so careless, I had always intended for Jillian to be a dark beauty but must have been confusing her with another character in previous story I had written earlier that day. As for the time they met for dinner, although I figured perhaps Jillian had written it down when she gave Joe her number, I decided it wasn't clear enough either. Both errors are corrected now. That's what happens when you write in a hurry and finish that close to deadline.
Hey: Hope you can add to this story. Has a lot of possibilities. Thanks.
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