by mikoli5763
That was a tough one buddy. You know it cries out for a sequel. It would be something if she turned up.
Hmmm...
What a sad and exciting story. I want more but SHOULD there be more? Sometimes life doesn't have the happy ending.
Wold have been better if hubby had been arrested for her murder/disappearance. Not because I'm sadistic; but only because it would have lent more credence to his bitterness and isolation.
I had trouble figuring out which category to post this one in too. Any suggestions as to the appropriate category would be appreciated.
@ mikoli5763
I think Non-Erotic or Non-concent would have suited this story better than LW.
Why would you end it this way if you had no intention of continuing? Does she return? Did she leave willingly? With the problem with her knee, why wasn't there more evidence of her departure (foot prints with a walking stick, or a dragged body)? Was the point of this story merely to relate a tragedy that happened, or a mystery to be solved? Is the reason you ended with a ? because you don't know how to solve the mystery? As far as category, I think Loving Wives is appropriate enough, but dammit if this story just doesn't feel complete in any way. If there IS more to the story, and you pick a different category (like non-consent/reluctance), then resubmit this with a link for the benefit of your LW readers.
Or finish?! Liked pace and descriptive writing style. Shorten and learn how to compose a paragraph. Thanks for writing. Lots of possibilities for her return after he finds another.
Non consent or possibly erotic couplings IMHO, the story does not fit in the LW genre, she did not cheat that we are aware of and while she appeared to be a TLW,the possible kidnapping, possible murder, and length of time passage puts this in that category.
Interesting story, while closure would be nice, sadly you have the propensity to change characters, and totally screw the ending. As loving as they were,for her to have simply gone off with a lover would be preposterous. So if you do a sequel think about your characters, and dont change them for an ending.
Decent read.
Of all the problems with this story the biggest one is that he was wearing cutoff jean shorts ...good god no man should ever wear those.
This one is even more interesting than your usual stories, and god knows they are interesting enough!
Part 2? Wow! That could go in so many different ways!
After chuckling (and skimming, sorry) through the initial gratuitous sex scene, ahem, but I did like the thought of him carrying everything back up the trail when her knee popped..her included. But the clinical para on your bowel movements was comedy gold, the definition of 'occur' is of course 'especially of accidents and other unexpected events) to happen' and the writing is excellent and I'm getting into this feel good story waiting for the point it'll all go wrong - the rangers themselves all banging your wife etc...
So it was a quite shocking conclusion and not a little freaky. Excellent story. 5*
Doesn't make sense to me either.
Interesting, but sad.
Good luck in the contest.
this cant be the end she has to come back. She didn't cheat of him or break his heart. He needs to rescue her and make up for lost time please do not end the story like this.
Jesus christ people, pull your heads out of that mysogynistic hate-filled hole some of you have it buried in. Usually that loving means loving someone other than one's lawfully wedded spouse, and we all know how those work out. They're fun, but they're also over done, and most of them are pure fantasy drivel.
This is a welcome change of pace. Kind of short, and not much on plot, but I enjoyed it.
or the Lindbergh case. TK U MLJ LV NV
Is this a murder mystery.? A kidnapping for a sex partner or something else. So why did you leave this story unsolved. The disappearance of a loving wife.,
Not a story....and leaving it as ???? at the end is kind of lame, it is I leave it up to you,I am so artsy".....if this is all intended it is pointless since it simply ends
Jeez, what a downer! But it is NOT about an adventurous wife. And any erotic value in the marital sex scenes is WAY over-cancelled by the ending! What was Mikol thinking by posting this?
Perfect story to tell around campfires. Obviously it will not satisfy those who want everything explained, or those who want happy endings... My Thanks to Mikoli.
There can be nothing worse than not knowing what happened. Enjoyed the story.
You pull on the heartstrings with that one.
I believe it is a good stretch of the writing talent.
4*s only because of brevity. Imagine if you had taken us deeper into their lives it would be a real tearjerker.
AMERRYMAN
Sorry, but this piece just doesn't do much other than relate a news story as might be written by a journalist (minus the explicit sex, of course). You have a decent beginning to a story, but this just doesn't cut it as is. I gave it three stars because it's not bad, and I think you should keep writing - at least long enough to finish this story.
and that is the story you are telling us, but there are many possibilities from this short "moment". Please, tell usome ore of them.
This is a good and plausible story - we have all heard about related mysteries =
Well done -
and there is no home owners policy. TK U MLJ LV NV
This story makes absolutely no sense. Why is it even in the LW category?
Why did you think, author, that we would be interested in this story? I read for entertainment and am not looking for stories that depress me. I like most of your stories, so far but I did not care for this pointless story. His wife was kidnapped, her body was never recovered, she never turned up alive. He can never find another as good as she was. What's your point?
It needs closure otherwise it is only half a story.
Still no conclusion. Incomplete at best. I give up.
Could do with a better ending like trapping the people doing the crime. Or finding his wife dead or alive.
however if any story ever rates a Chapter 2 or a long epilog, this one is it TK U MLJ LV NV
Good writing but don't want reminded of bad news TV etc has more than enough
TOO much imaginary BS! Why didn't he just pick her up and carry her back???
Thanks for giving us lots of details on Jan's bowel movements and what was done with the turds and how you wiped. Literary genius.
There is enough bad news in real life I read for drama but you want a good ending not this
Stupid. Why leave her behind? She was not critically injured so time was not a factor. Also, another reason to always carry a weapon when hiking