All Comments on 'Hikers' delight'

point, point, as to....

Uhhhhhh

So good

useless, you are not supposed to tell us (the audience, we are supposed to feel it)

Also it starts out as a first person direct address

But if we camped ... there would be hikes.

Let's hold hands

And then shifts to First person description, I...She

What you had was a reasonable premise of a poem at first, that became cluttered.

I may be a prick, but I did not vote, And this was offered with the best of intentions.

It was an actual text conversation I had with a friend I knew a long time ago. These were his texts to me while my hands were busy elsewhere. I thought it was incredibly hot and wanted to share it... It was rejected from "stories," because the format is more poetic. But truthfully it isn't even my story... Just one I shared in.

So I appreciate your comments, but I couldn't change a word.

To clarify... I knew him years ago, but we started "sexting" about a year ago. Gotta love cell phones...

I have been revisiting this for some time - and it's still growing on me. The revelation that it's actual text-sex sent to LovesMusic adds to the eroticism. The opening stanza quickly sets the scene and, from then on, it's a rolling declaration of yearnings, physical sensations and ultimate satisfaction. Well worth going on a hike.