All Comments on 'A-Cup Angst Ch. 12'

Great story. I just can't wait for the next chapter.

Man, you're seriously churning this stuff out! Compared to Nobel_Truth and other awesome authors here, you're becoming both great and seriously prolific. The rate at which you complete this story is inspiring.

I love to see Jamie building himself back up like this, and I can't wait to see him explore other applications of his "Jedi powers" besides telekinesis and his 6th sense. -- Particularly lighting, which I expect he could accomplish by combining the concepts of lightning-bending (as Iroh explains in it in Avatar) and the Tesla coil. That would be *exactly* in Jamie's wheelhouse.

One minor gripe (from a creative writing minor):

The way that one of those fetishes just happened to be exactly what the former Jacobs family needed is a bit out of place... not all that far from deus ex machina, really.

Considering how M'bata would have virtually no use for a one-off item like that, as well as how Laura *immediately* zeroed-in on *that* fetish while the rest are irrelevant or indecipherable... it all suggests that this fetish was contrived by the author purely to solve the language problem, rather than something that truly belongs in the story.

- Of course, I understand all the elements that were involved in establishing this setup beforehand: each fetish having very specifically limited uses, other enchanted "black magic" relics (that may or may not be similarly designed for one-time use) being found in a vault, everything that went into Jamie's acquiring the fetishes from M'bata... however, it's just not quite enough to fully offset those two problems.

But like I said, the problem-solving relic is just a minor issue surrounded by impeccable work.

As always, we're all already eagerly awaiting more, so keep up all the great work, you sycko!

(I'd bet you already know how Force-Lightning would work, and even whether or not it will ever come into play in this story

but

for reference on what I meant with the lighting, look on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXyJXtKVp-o starting at 7:20, and here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jO5N85SNM8

at 5:30.)

I really appreciate how Jamie now has to build himself back up. Hopefully those who tried him will get their 'what for.'

Thanks syck for all your hard work.

@Master of Life: Poor Noble_Truth! He is a bit slow isn't he? :)

If you're trying to make an argument about ex-machina, the table is more of one than the fetish. Afro-man worked with a lot of different people, him having that piece made sense in a way. As for her finding that specific one, its explained by the definition of the table. First she wanted a general investigation of it, after finding its complexity, why not ask if there was something to aid with communication next.

Anywhose, its not that big a deal, he already knew a few languages, if it was just a language barrier someone would speak one he knew. And now we get reminded that he has this thing with him, and that it can do stuff, and maybe stuff he can use, duplicate or learn from with his Jedi powers.

Again, excellent story syck, eagerly awaiting the next round. *loved the shopkeeper btw*

As everyone before me said...

Very nice turn to the story...

Please keep up your powerful work!

I like it A LOT!

Sorry, the fetishes are not a deus ex machina, or a plot hole. They are a plot point. Read on to find out the truth about them!