All Comments on 'The River Takes, the River Gives'

so, her husband dies horribly, then the 'friend' fucks her,

please don't write any more,,

A strong attraction evolves into sex, triggered by a traumatic event. It is not unusual for people to seek solace by doing something intimate. How they will feel about it afterwards depends on a lot of things. The writer set the stage nicely by revealing a long standing attraction along with detailing all the negatives each felt about their life partner.

She just saw he husband come rushing passed dead with a broken neck and instead of crying or being upset her and the other guy sit there talking about bikinis, tits and ass? Most people are not that insensitive and assholes. She would be in shock!! Not laughing about bikinis. That didn't make sense at all.

You could have spelled out the relationship of the two couples prior to the camping trip; but you left that up to the readers imaginations. (nice touch) I enjoyed this little flash story.

BDEarth

This had the MOST inappropriate combinations of spoken text I have ever seen?

Her husband, just smashed to death in a flash flood, and they nearly instantly go into discussions of sex?

Come on, ridiculous.

That was as far as I got, no way could that even be fixed.

1 star.

quit padding ur ballot box,, most everyone but u will vote 1 star,,go wacko off somewhere else

The writer gives, the writer takes

Overlooking the grammatical blunders, the plot was good.

If there is a sequel, will he leave sally is she pregnant and so on.

I am sure that FLC and SwingerJoe will love this, because its all about doing another mans wife.

In fact, FLC and SwingerJoe probably do each other. Oh wait forget that neither are Bulls only wimps who suck the bulls cum.

The inappropriate banter between them just after Broken, Battered Bob floats by does the worst thing a writer can do. Take the reader out of the story. It is impossible to read this story without saying, "WTF?" at that point. The overall premise is good enough that I shook my head and jumped back in, but it would have been much better to have had some more appropriate dialog there. There's nothing wrong with inappropriate dialog. The problem occurs when it takes the reader out of the story.

I think the sex was inappropriately WTF, too. I can't imagine that actually happening. But grief is a powerful thing and grieving people do really strange things sometimes. Still, I think you have a very solid story to tell without the WTF situations.

boy author you can kill a story.. his marriage is in the shits and he wants Brenda,he is still married and has sex with the other wife as the husband is drowning , so sick .

This felt a lot like watching a Christopher Nolan film. Some really glaring errors in construction, but you go with the flow anyway because the characters are so well painted. The line about women and secrets was wonderfully insightful.

Had the potential to be far greater.

was that Bob burned the bacon!!!!

If only.....If only.....If only.....

he hadn't been "too much of a man" to shave off his chest hair!!!!!

Luckily, inappropriate sex (that MIGHT lead to pregnancy) can help us to forget and move on.

But, DAMN!

That bacon almost cost $10!!!!

And I didn't even get any!

RIP, dear bacon.....

We will never forget thee!

How many of the ANONYMOUS actually write and if they do; how GOOD is it? Strange things happen when stress levels are high. My now ex-sister-in-law and I did it at her husband's funeral in the parlor. If YOU liked it then GOOD ENOUGH!!! I thought it was emotionally telling in a tragic way.

I'd like to see you follow this with something a little more substantial. Our male protagonist is contemplating divorce. An apparently happily married woman has unexpectedly lost her husband, and I presume in a state of shock has engaged in unprotected sex with a neighbor. Where does this go?

Do we go "oh goody goody sex in the river while dead hubby floats by" and let it go down the toilet as his corpse floats on?

Or?

Do we follow along, see a divorce, an unanticipated pregnancy, an emotionally unstrung widow in need of counseling and perhaps hospitalization, a guilt ridden divorced friend, a second marriage, an abortion, all kinds of accusations and recriminations?

What will you do Sikfuk?

I don't believe I would have told that one...

Am I the only one who thinks this whole situation is so inappropriate for the woman who should be emotionally distraught over her husband's loss ? Don't Americans dont have any control on their baser instincts at all ? With all the in-your-face sexual focus in everyday life, they have lost touch in deciding what is right and what is wrong behavior ?

Or is it a limitation with this writer not able to delve into the emotional hangups of people ?

The writing was very good, IMO. Presuming both couples marriages that were empty shells, what happened seems plausible. You did give the husband and wife some attraction in the past. The shock of nearly being killed yourself, then seeing your husband dead, you stripped naked...that would unhinge anyone. The conversation about tits and ass amounts to gallows humor to cover a really awkward moment. So back at the camp, who was there to comfort her? He was. People do feel the need to have an intimate connection, sex to celebrate life, to convince themselves that death that came so close is now a ways off. Death is so often a matter of chance what if, what if. The living comfort the living, because the dead are gone.

Chilley

You must have bumped your head pretty hard. Carvohi's "A Tale of Two Sisters" (to name just one story) was amazing and hardly ANY of his stories have below a 4 star rating for a reason.

Thanks for the effort. Not very well developed. She screams out as she sees the dead body of her husband ... They crack a joke about her tits ... Then they ask the question: what do we do now ... Friend pops a hardon ... They fuck. I don't care how bad a relationship is, these two are the most insensitive, uncaring people in the world to take that moment to hook up. Certainly not sympathetic characters.

But it has potential. Or had potential. I guess we'll see...

except now it came back to haunt, TK U MLJ LV NV

They see the husband deaf body and celebrate with sex . hope when one of them.dies or is sick the one who lobes them the most fucka while they are lie dying and screaming in agony.

You don't even have to assume both marriages were empty shells. If you've ever experienced a close death, you know that sex is the easiest and most effective way to reaffirm life. I didn't have any trouble believing this, and can't really pass judgment on either one of them.

the narrator's hope of a long term relationship is a pipe dream, though.

The reaction to seeing Bob's dead body float past? I hope my wife thinks more of me.

It is not the kind of story that can be road tested. But it worries us and holds our attention. Good work!

So Brenda and Steve shared similar attitudes re their spouses?

What an absolutely perfect pen name.

Dead mangled husband floats by and they have sex??????? cmon.

I seem to remember reading something like this, but it turned out that Bob and Sally were having an affair, and Sally bit it also. Was there an unofficial sequel or takeoff somewhere?

Sicfucing disgusting… How can a wife want sex after seeing her dead hubby float by in that broken condition? Never can I understand the mind of a seriously deranged writer

As his name suggests… !

Surprised..his mom did not abort him at conception!