All Comments on 'Three Sisters Ch. 03'

This story is fast becoming one of my favourties I have read on this site. I love the slow build up and I love the characters a lot as they are nice people and also importantly they feel real which is actually quite rare in a lot of erotic fiction. Only character that does not feel 100% real is Alice and that is only because she seems a bit robotic. I am sure you are going to flesh her personality out a bit in future chapters.

I love that the main character is interested in sex but he is not so interested that he is thinking about sex every single second of the day and he is not getting an erection from one of his sisters even looking at him like in some stories. His arousal levels are normal for a horny teenager who is beginning to explore the world of sex for the first time and he is not acting like a would be sexual offender.

Anyway thanks for putting in so much effort with this story as I am enjoying it a lot.

Yeah it's really quite a dumbed down version of it. The changes in the plot are not for the better unfortunately, and add no excitement or interest. The dialogue is no where near as plausible, and the characters lack any sort of depth. Sorry, but I just gotta call it how I read it. VertigoJ had a wicked sense of humour. In this version, it's like you've taken out all the funniest bits and replaced them with beige, bland over-explanations. Sorry.

I wish Josh would stop getting talked down by his sisters and be able to vent his anger towards dawn. I truly hope he gets his revenge on dawn without showing her any mercy/ chickening out due to her abused past, hurt feelings, or guilt tripping him just because she's family.

... Just leave a comment, positive or negative.

As long as it's not anonymous, or if you leave an e-mail address, I will send you an update message when Chapter 4 is posted.

Thank you for all the personal messages too. Prefer them here, but beggars can't be choosers :).

This chapter is great like the previous two. I'm really enjoying the scenes between Josh and Jacquie, the kind of relationship that they share can generate the hottest sex scenes in my opinion. I have a question, do you plan to have the sisters in sex scenes amongst themselves, without Josh or in a threesome in your version? It was something that I kept hoping it would happen in Po5 but it never did.

She did well in raising him. Now the education continues. Liked it a lot.

These chapters are getting better and better, however the bit im looking forward to is if alice and josh will have any kind of relationship.

I'll respond to all the non-anonymous comments:

Ginger - I agree that Alice isn't fleshed out much, just like I feel that Josh and all of the characters need more work. Of course Alice and Dawn have come off the most one sided so far, but that is mostly intentional. We may not have seen the last of Valerie either. I think stories are boring that throw too much characterization at you right away, just like they are boring to me when they don't even bother with it. You'll get more Alice personality next Chapter. I'm also giving some thought on how to introduce new characters.

Red- Will there be a threesome? That would be telling! I will say it is something that I very much enjoy reading. Hey, who doesn't like sex with two girls, right? The sex in Party of Five was very enjoyable to read, but I don't think had a lot of variety. Perhaps this was something that would have changed after Chapter 20 had he continued? I have lots of ideas on how I'd like Josh's sex life to go, good and bad for Josh!

Potato - Though we haven't see too much of it, I think Josh already has a relationship with Alice. I'm assuming you mean a sexual relationship, but I think he has his hands full at the moment with Jacquie. That said, the story is called Three Sisters! I want Josh's relationships with his sisters, and any other characters that might come along, to be unique and add something to our main character's life. Also this was never meant to be an orgy story, so I do struggle with keeping it as realistic as possible with real human emotions, feelings and struggles controlling how the characters behave. How successful I have been, and more importantly will be, will be up to each individual reader to decide. The responses to the story have been overwhelmingly positive, but certainly not universally so.

Only thing I can promise to do is my best as time allows going forward. Much like it is a hobby for you guys to read this, it is a hobby for me to write it. Real life comes first. :) Thank you all for your time.

I've been waiting for this a few months now. O I know the sex is slow to come, but that's OK, I like the slow buildup. Some are complaining but they seem to be in the minority. VertigoJ did a great job, but having lots of humor in his stories, I didn't see it. Now mentalcase in Just The Six Of Us is funny as hell(you"re welcome for the free plug,mc). I am really liking this so far. I would only have two (minor) complaints.1 i would have liked a little more vivid description of Val and Dawn's encounter. 2 I would like to have a background on how Dawn ended up between her legs. I still believe Dawn was who Val had kissed when they had the discussion at at the campfire in Ch 2. I think you probably will explain that later though. You are changing the tale enough to make it your own, yet staying within the framework. Excellent job. And hell yeah, let us know when you send out Ch 4.

... but it hasn't been a few months, Jedd. It just felt that way! ;) If I can do a chapter a month id be happy. This is a marathon after all. I don't want to burn out on it. Look at Mentalcase and Just the 6 of Us. 16 Chapters in less than 3 months when he started. Wow. But after that? 6 chapters in 2012,only 3 in 2013 and now only one update all of this year. I hope I don't get the same way, but being new to this I have no idea what to expect.

I think Vertigo and Mental have enjoyable ways of writing, but I never found myself literally laughing out loud when reading either. I certainly found Party of Five to be the better story, but I agree with you I think it was more clever than hysterical.

Whenever Josh and Dawn do meet up again, I'm sure neither will be eager to recount the vivid details of Dawn's bedding of Valerie. The entire story is from Josh's point of view, so details are always going to be lost that other characters could convey. If I think it furthers the story, then Dawn (or Valerie) could always decide to share the lost details with Josh about that night in the cabin. stay tuned!

But the sudden departure of both Dawn and Valerie was a tad abrupt.

Then of course there is the continuing absence of information as to what these people actually do. Does pseudo mom spend her day baking cookies and doing the laundry? Is Alice a day trader since she handles the family investment fund? Then of course there is the cryptic mention that Josh spends his day impersonating an attorney's office:

"She would ask him about his day or if he noticed any cute girls at his summer job working as the family attorney's office. Josh always smiled and answered no."

huh? how does one work as an office? and when did Josh get a summer job? Perhaps he should get a job as the family Doctor's office, there might be more opportunities to meet cute girls when they come in for an exam?

I'm once again very excited by this series and it's potential. I look forward to seeing where it will go and I hope that we won't have to wait over a month again for the next chapter.

One thing I did notice though, 500 calories would be a starvation diet (and if it was supposed to be 5000, then they would be very obese).

Anyway please keep up the good work.

Techditto - thank you for the kind words. Of course no one can literally live off 500 calories a day. I think that was the point of Josh's joke. :)

Right - your concern for the minutia of each character's day makes it sound like you are really getting invested in the story! While I can't promise we will learn which fabric softener Jacquie buys for the laundry, we will learn more and more about the characters as the story progresses, hopefully in a natural way that doesn't feel like you are reading their resumes. Valerie and Dawns departure felt abrupt because the situation was rather... Abrupt.

I don't want to compare the story to it's predecessor but it's lacking a lot in establishing development as far as the sex. I mean Jacqueline practically throw her boobs in his face. You said it in the story he never had sexual feelings towards her.

Too me he was too accepting and she just threw it out there.

What I read:

Josh: I've never seen boobs

Jacq: hahaha ;flash boobs

Just no pre sexual build up in my opinion

Forgot to add

How the incident with dawn and his girlfriend was so easily dismissed. The situation isn't a situation where you just dismiss feelings.

It's like there should have been more to it than. They just break up and done with it. You're second story had a ton of emotion but this one felt rushed

In my opinion I rather you take your time: I been here since I was 13 and I've read a ton of stories. The first two chapters was contest winning chapters. This one needed that emotion the first two had.

I like how this is going

OK, a month and a half, so technically, it was more than a month, but you're right, it mainly just seemed that long. I think, if you're able, monthly would be about perfect, i.e. Your example of mentalcase. And while I agree on VJ being witty, not funny, MC did make me laugh out loud pretty much whenever Voice joined in. Anyway, back to Sisters, I know it is from Josh's point of view, and therefore some details may not be there because he simply wasn't party to some things, but some things like how in the world did D end up with her head between V's legs, are important to your flow, even if just a brief explanation. And who knows, it may be something you reveal later on as part of D's sex with Josh (we all know that's coming sometime, somehow). I love how you respond to your commenters. And though there are always exceptions either way, ever notice that as a rule, anon comments are usually negative and positive ones leave there name? So I'm hoping to see Ch 4 in about a month, and think that would be a good pace. So, until Dawn rides everyone in her family's face, (she is kinda forceful), I will patiently wait. Jedd

Forgot to mention re: D and V. You stated how V's face was flushed when they came out with their bikinis on. And at the campfire, V took the dare when asked who the last person she kissed was besides Josh. Clearly by implication,, though left unspoken, it was Dawn, who obviously was already at work in her seduction of V. What is unanswered is if she really was helping J in her own twisted V way, or was she purposely hurting him? Leaving the answer dangling as you have done, to be revealed at a later date, is important to your plot, and you're handling it masterfully. So sensei, until then I remain Dawnfully yours. Jedd

BG - thank you for the excellent comments. At the end, we are talking about siblings having sex with one another, so it is usually going to feel somewhat strange and out of place, especially when it involves well adjusted, basically happy people.

Was it rushed? Maybe. I think Josh was depressed for weeks following the Dawn/Valerie incident, and Jacquie went into Mom mode trying to make him feel better in various ways. Now what her motivations are for everything she does, and if those motivations are consistent or changing, I'll let you guys decide. Eventually something has to happen though, right?

As for Josh jumping at his chance for a sexual encounter with his sister, I think we are looking a a winning combination of guy that wants to see/touch breasts, guy that wants to feel better because he's felt like shit for a month and is still heartbroken, pretty persuasive Jacquie and deer in headlights. Do you guys think Josh is seeing Jacquie as good clean fun/distraction/experience or as a full blown replacement for Valerie?

Clearly the confusion, feelings and other emotions are strong with both these guys, who love each other like only family can. My job is to do a good job of showing them realistically as I'm capable of while still remembering this is a porn story. Fun!

Jedd - looks like you've done a wonderful job of picking up all the important details, even if Josh may not have. Josh missing stuff that the readers probably won't will always be a theme throughout the story, even if that frustrates some readers.

Going along with BGs excellent observations, Josh's experience with Valerie can't help but change a guy, and have lasting implications on the story. There are unanswered questions that I'm sure Josh has, and unresolved anger directed towards Dawn and (to a lesser extent?), Valerie. As always, stay tuned.

Very good. Keep going with the story.

I hope we see more Dawn soon. One of the things that I really enjoyed about the original Party of 5 was how Josh's relationship with Dawn evolved over time as he got to know her better.

If there is going to be any evolution in Josh's relationship with Dawn it can only go up. I think this is what alcoholics call hitting rock bottom.

I really don't care that he hasn't had sex with any of the sisters, however your characters lack of personality really hurts your story. We really know nothing about your characters other than really Alice strangely.

You really haven't shown us why we should care about the characters in your story.

1 out of 5

Keep it up, maybe bring Val back in?

... 1 out of 5? Considering that's the worst possible score you can give a story, I think you are being a bit harsh. Hopefully some of your complaints will be answered in subsequent chapters, but since you consider the first 3 chapters as bad as stories get on Literotica, I would have to think that it would be a colossal waste of time to keep reading. I am shocked you made it this far! Hopefully you stay with us :)

You are right, maybe I am being overly harsh, but that is because I had high expectations for you. You bated around some big names when you started this series and that put some expectations as far as storytelling.

Actually, I think Josh portrays a good character in himself and his personality can only be built farther as the story progresses, and the background behind Jacquie already has a strong base for her character. I do think it could be built some more though. Overall, I don't see why it's a 1/5 but I didn't ready the series that this was based on. I'd give this a solid 3/5

Way better then the original, nice work! Loving the direction of this update.

But the original was 20 Chapters in before Vertigo stopped. I have a lot of work before I catch up to the product he gave us, if ever.

While I am curious why Dawn did it, I don't want to know for a long time. You have won me over for a few more chapters good sir.

Any way we can know when the next chapter is?

Ariil- I have plans for Dawn in the near future. Should be hearing from her fairly soon. Now what that means in ways of an explanation, you can judge.

The good news is the next chapter is half written. The bad news is that it was half written 10 days ago. I have trial this week and next week, so writing could be an issue. Unless you guys want me to post a half chapter, might be a bit. Maybe I'll get some unexpected free time somewhere.

Nooooooooo! Seriously, judging by your updates it appears you are an attorney. While I may think most attornies have vivid imaginations, and you therefore should be able to knock out a story overnight, reality wins me back over, and I understand you have a job like we all do, and writing stories for us is not it. So handle your business as you must, but just know in doing so, that if your story wasn't that damn good, you wouldn't have us clamoring for the next update. I'm still hoping for at least monthly, but just do whatever it takes to keep up your standards. I salute you on this undertaking sir. VertigoJ had a great tale before he dropped out of site. I dearly wish he would pop back up and finish (as he himself promised he would). But in the meantime, I admire both your ambition, and so far, your quality, in this undertaking. Please try not to take too long.

As the title says, I found that this chapter was worth the wait. Now, I read VertigoJ's (thank you very much since it was an incredible read for the 20 chapters that he wrote) original story, so I already see the differences you've gone, and I'm not entirely sure whether I like them or not. But hey, the new twist is certainly nice. Although, Dawn is very different compared to VertigoJ's Dawn, here she seems a bit more of a bitch but in his it really seems as though she's snooty and fairly narcissistic. So... I'm curious how she'll be involved with her, so hey... there's that. I'll probably be comparing yours to VertigoJ's for the sake of seeing differences, but I do enjoy yours even if I were to consider it a separate story. Anyways, if you keep this up making great chapters as you have so far done, I'd be delighted to see an official ending between Josh and his sisters... assuming, that is, you take a similar path as the original. To balance all the positive that I said... I guess it would be fair to say something negative (other than saying how Dawn is a bitch here) so, umm... I can't think of anything really, so I guess I'll just point out the only thing I could think of and that is maybe re-read or have someone else re-read for those small spelling errors that are missed.

Thank you Jedd and Anon for kind comments. Remember to log in and leave a comment so I can write you to let you know when a new chapter is up.

Speaking of which, just finished the first nine day trial of my life. What a draining experience. Give me a couple of days to relax, and I'll get back to writing. Sorry for the delay.

Your timing, your pacing is beyond belief. It's not the climax but the journey that holds and consumes the reader. Like I said after your last chapter it's not the actual sex but the anticipation, the desire, the seduction. Please keep up the excellent work. A fan.

just wondering when the next chapter will be arriving?

I wish I had discovered your series after you were several chapters further into the story haha! Oh well. 4 stars! Cheers mate! I love one brother - multiple sisters harem stories. They're my favorite. It's just too bad there aren't more of them.

What I like the most in these stories is the bond between siblings; more than just sibling rivalry, but sibling intimacy. Who knows anyone better than his/her siblings and closest friends from birth? They shared the same womb, the same crib and nursed from the same tit. It's a beautiful relationship. And I agree with some of your other commenters that the hottest part of these stories isn't always necessarily the sex ;), but the story between, the character development, when we're convinced they're siblings because they act like it. They do sibling things; they squabble, they joke, they tease, they apologize, forgive and make up. Then they become lovers and eventually parents together in this quasi-polygamous marraige. They literally become sister-wives. Pregnancy is the ultimate consummation of an intimate romantic relationship in my opinion, and it makes the taboo nature of the sex even hotter ;)

Anyways, I hope you finish what you've started, unlike VertigoJ, and faster than Mentalcase (not trying to knock him; I understand that life gets busy, but it's rather torturous to wait so long). But good work so far! Keep it up! Can't wait for the next installment!

Sincerely,

-Kalel

Please return with chapter 4 as soon as you possibly can. Besides wanting to see what happens next, there's a few things I want to say to you regarding the Dawn/Valarie hookup. And I'm thinking you'll be available to view my feedback after you return to post chapter 4. So please bring in chapter 4 whenever possible. At least Josh's life is better since wicked Dawn is gone. Merry Christmas.

... My friend is reviewing then sending to editor. I'd guess a week or so.

A week has now turned to almost two. Any updates? You're killing us here. Impatient readers: The price you pay for writing a good story.

Three weeks since you said a week, and two and a half months since chapter three. I'm gonna need rehab cause I'm jonesing so bad for ch 04.

I'm ready for chapter 4, and still eager to tell you my perspective regarding the Valerie/Dawn hookup. I'm the same anonymous as the most recent one who wrote to you. But I'm waiting to send my perspective till after you release chapter 4. By the way, I don't think Josh and Valerie's relationship should be considered a break up. I believe you can only break up through communication, and Josh and Valerie haven't discussed whether or not they would end things. When Valerie tried to talk to Josh that night, he ignored her, and when Josh tried to talk to her at graduation, she ignored him. I think the current definition of their relationship would be "in limbo", not broken up. Happy New Year.

wheres the next chapter??? i'm dieing here to now what happens next

Gotta love how this was started because vertigo j abandoned his story after a dozen chapters and this one hasnt been updated since october and is on chapter 3

I normally cannot find much to agree with anon posters on, because as a rule, they just complain with nothing to offer to help. But in the previous poster's response I am inclined to. It has been 3.5 months since chapter 3; 1.5 since you told us 4 would be posted 'next week or so.' I have gathered from your own prior postings you are in the legal profession. I understand that is time consuming. Would you consider giving that up to write free stories for the rest of us? No? Oh well, can't say I blame you. But this was a daunting task to attempt and you knew that going in. VertigoJ himself did a phenomenal job, and yet still abandoned the story. So those were big shoes to fill. I am disappointed in the lack of progress, but it is understandable. Now others may disagree and have their own issues with you, but my big beef is: If you are unable to finish the story, just post something here and tell us. We were already burnt once when VJ told us he would let us know if he were going to close the story and then he just disappeared. We don't like it happening again when we are assured you will not do that, and yet we regularly check for an update and it's not forthcoming. Could you do us a favor and let us know if you can't continue? We'd appreciate it.

Couldn;t ask for anything better a really good three chapters keep it coming.

I liked that a lot please keep it coming.

next please...j'ai l'eau a la bouche

Its been far too long.

WHERE IS THE FUCKING CHAPTER?!??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

amazing, but like eight months is pretty long for another chapter! just as it was getting interesting as well xD

So you start this as away to remedy another series being abandoned and then you abandon it. Way to be a troll

Want more you dropped dawn & V then left us with a tease please continue

It looks as though this author isn't coming back anytime soon. He abandoned the story like VertigoJ did. Even if his job is taking away his time, he should still have the decency to leave an author's note telling us he's on hiatus. With that said, I'm recommending to whomever has an account on this site to take the mantle and do their own version of this story. It would be the third attempt after VertigoJ and LickDaFelt. I only ask for four requests. Please keep the 'Valerie cheats on Josh with Dawn' aspect in place since it makes a good plot. When Jackie and Alice find out what happened, please have Jackie punch Dawn in the nose and have Alice punch Valerie in the nose for hurting Josh, their little brother whom they love. Please have Valerie and Dawn make things up to Josh somehow (after Josh runs away from home due to his broken heart and ignores Dawn and Valerie for weeks). The 'punching Dawn and Valerie in the nose' aspect could happen after Josh runs away from home. Finally, if whoever takes the mantle does another hiatus, please have the consideration to leave your readers an author's note. Oh, and if someone accepts my recommendation, please let the readers know when it's ready in the comments section. I will everyone a good day.

You gotta finish this!!

wtf the author just left???

Can u make another chapter I am begging u. I really want to find out what happens with Dawn and Valerie.

I CANT STAND THIS BULLSHIT ANTMORE!! Another author just fucking died after they wrote 1 or 2 chapters of a story i guess

Is this story going to be completed?

DO IT JUST DO IT. YES YOU CAN JUST DO IT!!!!!!

It seems like you just took three chapters to build up to the real beginning. Nothing happened until the end. Then it was over. Lots of options throughout with nothing happening. I hope you learn to write stories with something really going on. This is on erotic story with nothing erotic till the very end. Very disappointing.

Three fucking chapters of WHAT?? To suck his sisters tit,WOW how incestuous is that AND on top of that you've fucked off out of the scene for three years. Another so called writer leaves another UNTOLD story.. fucking amazing, you really sucked us in....minus 5 stars...

I hate thar

Please post chapter 4 soon. And I don’t think Josh and Val has been formally broken up since they have not talked yet. When you break up with someone, there has to be some form of communication for it to happen.

Please don’t disappear like the other guy did and please either update this or let the readers know somewhere if you’re going to continue this or not.

And for anyone else who reads this message, if this author doesn’t continue this, I hope one of you will try another attempt at this storyline, including Val cheating with Dawn, but with Jackie and Alice really giving Val the business for hurting their little brother and reading them the riot act.

Please return soon with chapter 4 and have a great day.

If the next chapter has Josh forgive dawn or in any way having Dawn and Josh making up, I'm done with this story. The original story Party of 5 started out great but it had an awful ending. Please don't end this series like that series ended.

That's the whole problem with this story. VertigoJ started it years ago, yet despite assuring his readers he would finish this story, he abandoned it. I heard somewhere it was because he was pissed at Literotica. Don't know that. Then someone else, I forget who, wrote a very bland chapter 21, and likewise stopped. Now this guy, Lickdafelt, starts jt up again. In the beginning he says it will be slightly different, but he SWEARS he will not abandon it, and even calls out VertigoJ for doing so. And what does he do? After three chapters, he abandons the story. He hasn't posted, nor responded to fans, in five years. What is it about this story that makes people abandon it? It's an awesome story that is widely read and highly rated. I just don't get it. So.I will echo the comments of an earlier commentor. If there is any writer out there reading this, please please please, re-do this and finish it.

My favorite story please finish it

You are fucking stupid writer period end of story. You can't finish this story because you are complete buffoon. Dawn should have been excommunicated. No way in real life that Josh doesn't tell his sister what really happend at the next morning about the truth or dare game. You are simply retarded and a very sick person.

Well, here again we have another unfinished story. Why bother even writing a story if you have intention of finishing it. Nothing is more frustrating than to read a story and get halfway through it and have it just stop. Been 7 1/2 years since this was published and not a peep. Gets a 1 star for not finishing.